DOI issue:
November 10, 1866
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16878#0199
.November 10, I860.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
191
PROHIBITIVE PRICE OF BEER.
ertainly these are won-
derful times. Astonish-
ing event succeeds
astonishing event with
astounding rapidity.
The fact announced in
the subjoined statement
by a contemporary, will
be regarded by the pub-
lic at large as the biggest
wonder out:—
“ Pale Ale.—A good deal
of commotion has been ex-
cited among the licensed
victuallers of the metro-
polis and other large towns,
by an announcement made
almost simultaneously by
Messes. Allsopp, Bass, Ind,
and Coope, and other Pale
Ale brewers, that from the 1st of October the price of that commodity will be raised to 60s., or 6s.
per barrel, in consequence of the blight in the hops.”
Everybody knows that big brewers never drink beer ; but few have ever imagined
the possibility of their conversion to teetotalism, and concurrence in an opera-
tion designed to stop the consumption of pale ale. For that can be the only object
of raising its price by so much as six shillings a barrel. At any rate, it will doubt-
less be the eflbct of that step. Wonderful, however, as a measure so thoroughly
teetotal may appear on the part of brewers, this is not the
first time they have combined in such an attempt at com-
mercial self-sacrifice, not to say suicide. We are further
informed that:
“ A similar proceeding was adopted by the brewers in 1860, but
upon strong representations of the trade the additional charge was
withdrawn the following year. It is understood that the trade have
again remonstrated with the brewers on the subject.”
The self-sacrifice of the wealthy brewers, however, is in-
considerable and moreover inconsiderate. It may be all
very well for those gentlemen, who have made their for
tunes, to retire from business; but in kicking down the
beer-barrel, which has raised them to opulence, they will
overturn the support of all the poor publicans and
licensed victuallers, who will be unable to stand any longer
if it is knocked from under them. The commonalty of
the beer-trade object to be ruined through the destruction
of their business by the act of their chiefs, to whom its
existence is no longer any object, because they can afford
to live withhut it in the height of splendour and magnifi-
cence. Beer, at present, and especially pale ale, costs a
great deal more than it is worth, and the public will not
have it at any price which is even higher than that; so that,
if it is made any dearer, the licensed victuallers and publi-
cans will have to sell it at a loss or not at all.
Question to a Clerical Ritualist.—Who’s your
Milliner ?
I
PLUCKING MADE EASY.
Scene—The Un-Civil Service Examination Room. Examiners, President,
and Secretary.
President. Gentlemen, let me call your attention to a most insulting
communication (exhibits a letter) which I have received through the
Trustees of the British Museum, from Mr. Panizzi. The late Chief
Librarian of the Museum complains that we have passed a person as
possessed of the requisite knowledge and ability for the office of
Assistant in that—what shall I say F—institution—who proved himself
totally incompetent—in Panizzi’s words, “ ludicrously broke down as
soon as he was put to the test of actual work.”
Examiner A. As how ?
President. Well, it seems chiefly in French and Latin. Panizzi
gives instances of what he calls the blunders which the man made.
Would you care to hear them F
Examiners. Not much; but perhaps we might as well.
President. One isn’t used to reading Latin sotto voce, so you must
make allowances. This is one of the examples that Panizzi quotes ;
a translation from a manuscript of the fourteenth century “ Be Aspide.”
Of 'the Asp.
Examiner B. The hook of a door ?
President. No; a sort of snake. The thing that what’s-her-name
used to kill herself.
Examiner C. Dido ?
President. No; not Dido. Cleo—something.
Examiner A. Patra ?
President. Cleopatra; that was the party. Well; the passage—
which the man had to translate, you know, is this, Ahem ! (Reading
slowly and spelling out all the longer words.) “ Sed naturaliter cauta est
contra incantationem, nam aurem terrse affigit, alteram cauda obturat.”
Obturat or Obturat ? Is it long or short ?
Examiner B. What does it matter ? Cut on.
President. Well; the young gentleman’s translation is as follows :—
“ If it has been caught in its wild state, it plants its nose and ear in
the earth, and stops up the other ear with its tail.”
Examiner C. Really, I don’t see anything so very much amiss in
that. It is what one would call a free translation. Cauta est, has been
caught. It’s monkish Latin.
All. Certainly.
President. There are several more instances of Latin; but now for
the French. Wind-up of a letter. (Reads with the accent of an evident
native.) “ Que Ton ne peut estre plus sensible que je le suis.” Transla-
tion—“ That his nephew is more sensible than he is.”
Examiner A. Nobody could be more sensible than the holder of our
certificate, anyhow. We must stick to that.
All. Decidedly.
President. Do you want to hear any more ? There are also some
quotations of bad English.
Examiner B. It is of no use going into them.
. Examiner C. Right or wrong, it won’t do for us to submit to criti-
cism from Panizzi.
Examiner A. Certainly not.
Exammer B. He complains of our being too lenient, does he ? Let
ns show him that we can be severe enough if we please.
All. Hear, hear. We ’ll let him see. We ’ll let him know.
Secretary. Gentlemen, there’s a candidate waiting to be examined
outside. He has been recommended by the Museum authorities for
promotion in the Zoological department.
Examiner C. Hang the department!
Examiner A. We don’t want to know his antecedents.
President. Call him in, [Secretary rings Bell. Enter Candidate.
President. Now, Sir, you are well up, of course, in Zoology F
Examiner B. Beasts, birds, fishes, insects, reptiles—and all that sort
of thing.
Candidate. I hope, gentlemen, you will find that-
President [aside). “ Hope told a flattering tale.” You [to Candi-
date) have read Goldsmith’s Natural History, no doubt F
Candidate [smiling). Well, Sir, I believe that once celebrated work
has hardly now that scientific reputation which it had formerly; but—
President. Goldsmith, Sir ! Goldsmith is a classic author. What
do you know, Sir, of the British Classics F Milton was a British
Classic. What did Milton write, Sir F
Candidate [a little astonished). Why, really. Sir, poetry is rather out
of my way. But Milton—he wrote Paradise Lost and Paradise Re-
gained, EAllegro, II Pensieroso, Lycidas, besides his prose works, and—
Examiner C. Did he write any sonnets, Sir F
Candidate. Yes, Sir, Milton was the author of certain sonnets.
Examiner C. Now, come, Sir; how many sonnets has Milton
left us F
Candidate. Why, really, Sir, I have not the chalk head to take that
very arithmetical view of poetry. It never occurred to me to count
Milton’s sonnets.
Examiner C. Then count them, now, Sir. You ought to know them
by heart. Write one of them out.
Examiner A. Write out any striking passage of ten or twelve lines
that you remember of one of Burke’s speeches, stating the connection
in which it occurs.
Candidate. Surely, gentlemen, you don’t imagine that I can have
committed the whole range of English literature to memory F
Examiner A. Oh, don’t we, though. You’ll see. Now! Is there
any readjustment you can propose of the parts of speech in English F
Point out the incorrectness of their distribution as usually found in
English grammars.
Candidate [beioildered). Sir F
President. You’re a pretty fellow for an appointment in Zoology!
[After a moment's consultation with his colleagues.) The Board, Sir, is
under the painful necessity of pronouncing your rejection. You will
have the goodness to retire.
Candidate [in astonishment). Eh !
All. Sir, you may go ! [Exit Candidate, distracted.
President. I think we had him there.
Examiner B. There are some things that no fellah can be expected
to know.
Examiner C. Those are the things to examine Mr. Panizzi’s young
friends upon; and we ’ll make a rule to pluck every candidate sent
up to us from the British Museum.
Seem closes.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
191
PROHIBITIVE PRICE OF BEER.
ertainly these are won-
derful times. Astonish-
ing event succeeds
astonishing event with
astounding rapidity.
The fact announced in
the subjoined statement
by a contemporary, will
be regarded by the pub-
lic at large as the biggest
wonder out:—
“ Pale Ale.—A good deal
of commotion has been ex-
cited among the licensed
victuallers of the metro-
polis and other large towns,
by an announcement made
almost simultaneously by
Messes. Allsopp, Bass, Ind,
and Coope, and other Pale
Ale brewers, that from the 1st of October the price of that commodity will be raised to 60s., or 6s.
per barrel, in consequence of the blight in the hops.”
Everybody knows that big brewers never drink beer ; but few have ever imagined
the possibility of their conversion to teetotalism, and concurrence in an opera-
tion designed to stop the consumption of pale ale. For that can be the only object
of raising its price by so much as six shillings a barrel. At any rate, it will doubt-
less be the eflbct of that step. Wonderful, however, as a measure so thoroughly
teetotal may appear on the part of brewers, this is not the
first time they have combined in such an attempt at com-
mercial self-sacrifice, not to say suicide. We are further
informed that:
“ A similar proceeding was adopted by the brewers in 1860, but
upon strong representations of the trade the additional charge was
withdrawn the following year. It is understood that the trade have
again remonstrated with the brewers on the subject.”
The self-sacrifice of the wealthy brewers, however, is in-
considerable and moreover inconsiderate. It may be all
very well for those gentlemen, who have made their for
tunes, to retire from business; but in kicking down the
beer-barrel, which has raised them to opulence, they will
overturn the support of all the poor publicans and
licensed victuallers, who will be unable to stand any longer
if it is knocked from under them. The commonalty of
the beer-trade object to be ruined through the destruction
of their business by the act of their chiefs, to whom its
existence is no longer any object, because they can afford
to live withhut it in the height of splendour and magnifi-
cence. Beer, at present, and especially pale ale, costs a
great deal more than it is worth, and the public will not
have it at any price which is even higher than that; so that,
if it is made any dearer, the licensed victuallers and publi-
cans will have to sell it at a loss or not at all.
Question to a Clerical Ritualist.—Who’s your
Milliner ?
I
PLUCKING MADE EASY.
Scene—The Un-Civil Service Examination Room. Examiners, President,
and Secretary.
President. Gentlemen, let me call your attention to a most insulting
communication (exhibits a letter) which I have received through the
Trustees of the British Museum, from Mr. Panizzi. The late Chief
Librarian of the Museum complains that we have passed a person as
possessed of the requisite knowledge and ability for the office of
Assistant in that—what shall I say F—institution—who proved himself
totally incompetent—in Panizzi’s words, “ ludicrously broke down as
soon as he was put to the test of actual work.”
Examiner A. As how ?
President. Well, it seems chiefly in French and Latin. Panizzi
gives instances of what he calls the blunders which the man made.
Would you care to hear them F
Examiners. Not much; but perhaps we might as well.
President. One isn’t used to reading Latin sotto voce, so you must
make allowances. This is one of the examples that Panizzi quotes ;
a translation from a manuscript of the fourteenth century “ Be Aspide.”
Of 'the Asp.
Examiner B. The hook of a door ?
President. No; a sort of snake. The thing that what’s-her-name
used to kill herself.
Examiner C. Dido ?
President. No; not Dido. Cleo—something.
Examiner A. Patra ?
President. Cleopatra; that was the party. Well; the passage—
which the man had to translate, you know, is this, Ahem ! (Reading
slowly and spelling out all the longer words.) “ Sed naturaliter cauta est
contra incantationem, nam aurem terrse affigit, alteram cauda obturat.”
Obturat or Obturat ? Is it long or short ?
Examiner B. What does it matter ? Cut on.
President. Well; the young gentleman’s translation is as follows :—
“ If it has been caught in its wild state, it plants its nose and ear in
the earth, and stops up the other ear with its tail.”
Examiner C. Really, I don’t see anything so very much amiss in
that. It is what one would call a free translation. Cauta est, has been
caught. It’s monkish Latin.
All. Certainly.
President. There are several more instances of Latin; but now for
the French. Wind-up of a letter. (Reads with the accent of an evident
native.) “ Que Ton ne peut estre plus sensible que je le suis.” Transla-
tion—“ That his nephew is more sensible than he is.”
Examiner A. Nobody could be more sensible than the holder of our
certificate, anyhow. We must stick to that.
All. Decidedly.
President. Do you want to hear any more ? There are also some
quotations of bad English.
Examiner B. It is of no use going into them.
. Examiner C. Right or wrong, it won’t do for us to submit to criti-
cism from Panizzi.
Examiner A. Certainly not.
Exammer B. He complains of our being too lenient, does he ? Let
ns show him that we can be severe enough if we please.
All. Hear, hear. We ’ll let him see. We ’ll let him know.
Secretary. Gentlemen, there’s a candidate waiting to be examined
outside. He has been recommended by the Museum authorities for
promotion in the Zoological department.
Examiner C. Hang the department!
Examiner A. We don’t want to know his antecedents.
President. Call him in, [Secretary rings Bell. Enter Candidate.
President. Now, Sir, you are well up, of course, in Zoology F
Examiner B. Beasts, birds, fishes, insects, reptiles—and all that sort
of thing.
Candidate. I hope, gentlemen, you will find that-
President [aside). “ Hope told a flattering tale.” You [to Candi-
date) have read Goldsmith’s Natural History, no doubt F
Candidate [smiling). Well, Sir, I believe that once celebrated work
has hardly now that scientific reputation which it had formerly; but—
President. Goldsmith, Sir ! Goldsmith is a classic author. What
do you know, Sir, of the British Classics F Milton was a British
Classic. What did Milton write, Sir F
Candidate [a little astonished). Why, really. Sir, poetry is rather out
of my way. But Milton—he wrote Paradise Lost and Paradise Re-
gained, EAllegro, II Pensieroso, Lycidas, besides his prose works, and—
Examiner C. Did he write any sonnets, Sir F
Candidate. Yes, Sir, Milton was the author of certain sonnets.
Examiner C. Now, come, Sir; how many sonnets has Milton
left us F
Candidate. Why, really, Sir, I have not the chalk head to take that
very arithmetical view of poetry. It never occurred to me to count
Milton’s sonnets.
Examiner C. Then count them, now, Sir. You ought to know them
by heart. Write one of them out.
Examiner A. Write out any striking passage of ten or twelve lines
that you remember of one of Burke’s speeches, stating the connection
in which it occurs.
Candidate. Surely, gentlemen, you don’t imagine that I can have
committed the whole range of English literature to memory F
Examiner A. Oh, don’t we, though. You’ll see. Now! Is there
any readjustment you can propose of the parts of speech in English F
Point out the incorrectness of their distribution as usually found in
English grammars.
Candidate [beioildered). Sir F
President. You’re a pretty fellow for an appointment in Zoology!
[After a moment's consultation with his colleagues.) The Board, Sir, is
under the painful necessity of pronouncing your rejection. You will
have the goodness to retire.
Candidate [in astonishment). Eh !
All. Sir, you may go ! [Exit Candidate, distracted.
President. I think we had him there.
Examiner B. There are some things that no fellah can be expected
to know.
Examiner C. Those are the things to examine Mr. Panizzi’s young
friends upon; and we ’ll make a rule to pluck every candidate sent
up to us from the British Museum.
Seem closes.