Punch (56.1869)

A HOME STUDY.

Tiny Mite, No. 1 (female). “ Not Spell Window ! ’Course I can ! W—i—n, win, d—o, do, Window ! ”
Tiny Mite, No. 2 (male). “ Ah ! but thoo can’t Spell the other Window, now can thoo?”

A GOOD WORD FOR A GOOD WORK.

Punch is clearly not the place for medical discussions. People who
read Punch wish to be enlightened, instructed or amused, but do not
want to see a word which may shock their tender feelings. A descrip-
tion of a hospital is not the sort of article that one expects in Punch,
any more than an account of a painful operation. Still, every now and
then, a word about a hospital is admissible in Ptmch, as is a charitable
word for any other work of charity.

The Royal Pree Hospital is not more free than welcome as a
charitable helping-place to thousands of our poor. When it first was
started, not a hospital in London was ever freely open, as in charity all
should be, to such sick folk as the Royal Pree was founded specially to
succour. In this really useful hospital, so long as there are funds un-
spent, and sleeping wards unfilled, any poor sick persons may come to
them and fill them; and they need not lose their little strength by
j hunting up subscribers to send them “ Open Sesame,” in an admission
j ticket.

Now, like most of us good people, the directors of this Hospital very
urgently want money ; for, like most of us good people, they don’t get
half enough for the work they wish to do. See here what they say as
, to what they have to do—

£t It must not be forgotten that the present medical practice is to ‘ build up
patients, and the resulting increase in the consumption of food and stimulants,
coupled with high prices, renders the item for food, wine, and spirits a very
serious one. The arrangements of the dispensary are being remodelled with
: a view to greater economy, but when it is considered that we have frequently
to make up 3000 prescriptions in the course of one week, and that the cost of
one year’s drugs alone (purchased under the most favourable circumstances
open to the Board) amounts to more than £1700, we need not point out how
great is the expenditure connected with the relief to out-patients. They
crowd to the hos'pital, but must be turned away unless the public supply us
1 with funds.”

And see here what they say as to what they want to get—

“ In no spirit of self-iaudation, but merely to show that the managers are
not unmindful of their responsibilities, we may mention that within the last

year four members of the committee have between them contributed more than
£500 towards the hospital funds, but such efforts of course cannot be con-
tinuous. Our annual subscriptions do not much exceed £1400, and the total
amount received from donations and legacies during the current year is little
more than £4770.

“ And, now, what is our position ? We have no property beyond the hos-
pital buildings, and some legacies payable on future contingencies. We owe
nearly £5600. We have a very slender balance at our bankers, and our
expenditure (irrespective of salaries) is more than £110 per week. What are
we to do ? We have room in the wards for 200 beds, and we can only fill
about 70. We have beds and bedding, and are willing to work if the public
will help us ; if not, we must close the hospital.”

Please to fork out, therefore. Gentlemen. You surely would not
wish to see the Hospital shut up. Think what suffering is succoured
by a charity like this ! Think that but, for Heaven’s mercy, you your-
self, O Crcesus ! might haply there become a supplicant ! Remember,
there’s no shamming in the sick ward of a hospital. Shut your fists
against sham sick folk as close as you can clench; their gin-distilling
breath tells where your coin will go to. But be royally free-handed to
the Royal Free, and be sure that you do good with every shilling that
you give to it.

Butyrum.

Thou, Alma Mater, know’st the trick
To put in principles that stick,

And Gentlemen thou shapest:

We make no doubt that Bute’s a brick,
And though he be a Catholic,

Will never be a Papist.

EASY OP APPREHENSION.

Ip you had the misfortune to be hauled off to the Station by two
policemen, both seizing you by the uppermost part ol your coat, what
eminent pianoforte makers’ names might you mutter to yourself r
Collar’d and Collar’d.