Punch: Punch (56.1869)

176

PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, April 19. Rather a fragmentary sort of week hath to be
accounted for. Dear Loud Redesdale began it by bothering about
I that eternal Coronation Oath, which he still thinks debars the Queen
from passing the Irish Church Bill. Punch utterly declines to try any
more to make him understand the case, especially as he has now got to
the point of demanding an Act of Parliament enabling Her Majesty
to dispense with the obligations of the Oath. That is, the Queen is to
absolve herself from it with the aid of the. Estates. But will she not
do so in ordering La Reine le veut to be said over the Irish Bill ? Lobd
Redesdale seems to think the Queen is a personage of the mental
j calibre of George the Third, who replied to the explanation that
he had sworn in an executive and not a legislative capacity, “ None of
your Scotch metaphysics; ” or of George tiie Fourth, who, in a
sober interval, wept over a Bill which lie thought would affect his
holy religion. Lord Melbourne’s pupil knows all about it, dear
Lord Redesdale, and you know all about railways. Stick to ’em.

A Bill in regard to the Indian Council brought up the new peer,
Lord Lawrence, amid general applause. He spoke for half-an-hour,
very calmly, and as one who thoroughly understood his subject. He
said that Lord Mayo was but carrying out with the Afghans a policy
initiated by Lord Lawrence. . There, M. Yamb^ry.

Mr. Bright, on cigar smoking, commanded much attention. He
objected to compel the Metropolitan Railway to provide smoking car-
! riages, as the trains would soon arrive every two minutes, and it would
| be impossible to sort, first the three classes, and then the three classes
' of smokers. So what was good for the Metropolitan District lines was
held not to be good for the Metropolitan, and Mr. Sheridan was
defeated by 31.

Sickly soldiers before discharge are not “ cupped until the world
goes round,” or at all, except for medical purposes.

We then went again into Committee on the Irish Church Bill.
Every amendment on which the Opposition divided was rejected by a
large majority. Mr. Disraeli had, we are sorry to say, Horace
Walpole’s “ Remedy,” so could not attend, and Mr. Hardy took the
defeats in his absence. The date of Disendowment was fixed at
January 1, 1871, the clause for effecting it was carried, the Irish
Bishops were turned out of the House of Lords, and the Committee
would not alter the clause for deducting compensation to curates from
the income to incumbents. On this last division the Conservatives got
their largest number since they divided on the Second Reading, but the
figures were 330 to 232.

Tuesday. The Lords discussed, and the Government disapproved, a
Bill of Lord Clanricarde’s on the Tenure of Irish Land. The Bill
is a mild one, and its object is to compel the use of Written Agree-
ments for letting. But the mass of Irish tenants do not like this, and
prefer verbal engagements, as more elastic. It is difficult to supply
documents to an Affectionate People that settles conveyancing instru-
ments by the light of the flash of a blunderbuss ; but if the system could
be enforced, good would be done. Some Conservative Lords joined in
the debate, rather (if Mr. Punch might be permitted to wink his
thought) with the hope of extracting some damaging information as to
Government Land plans, than for the sake of helping to adjust the
question. But Lords Granville and Kimberley would not be
drawn, and so were informed that the Administration no doubt held
dangerous and revolutionary views as to the rights of property, and
that they would be responsible for all the Tipperary murders next
winter. After which pleasantness, their Lordships went away.

Sir Eardley Eardley, Baronet, was sentenced to imprisonment
for a very cruel bigamy. His term has been abbreviated, and he is on
the Continent. It was imputed that a powerful connection in the
Ministry had helped him, but the explanations of the late and present
Home Secretary made it clear that he had been treated as any other-
diseased convict would be—perhaps a little more rigidly. But it is
always well to know why criminals are let off.

Then did we not have a sensation ? Did not Mr. Lowe astonish
the House F There was debate on the Site of the New Courts of Law.
The lawyers wish to adhere to the Carey Street location, and there are
other objections to doing this besides the primd facie one that the
course is acceptable to our natural enemies. The public, directed by
the Demon of Taste, according to Sir Roundell Palmer, wish the
new building to adorn our noble Thames Embankment. When the
discussion had been protracted far into the night, the Chancellor of
the Exchequer rose, like Samson Agonistes, to spoil all the architec-
ture. He would agree to neither plan.

“ This uttered, straining all his nerves, he bowed
As with the force of winds and waters pent,

"When mountains tremble, those two massy buildings
With horrible convulsion to and fro
He tugged, he shook, till they came out and drew
Their two roofs after them, with burst of thunder,

Upon the heads of all who sat to hear.

The vulgar heard the howl who stood without.”

[May 1, 1869.

Pardon the slight variation on Milton. But Mr. Lowe, like the
magnificent Armado, did excel Samson. Eor he not only destroyed, he i
erected. As for the Carey Street plan, it would cost Eour Millions and
more, and he would be no party to such extravagance. Nor would he
build on the Embankment. But there was a site already cleared,
between Cecil and Arundel Streets, Strand, and bounded on the north
by Howard Street, which could be had for a reasonable sum, and there
he proposed to build the Temple of Law. It would have no Strand
front, but might have a splendid front towards the river. As he spoke,.
Father Thames, now a nice clean old man, quite unlike his former dirty
self, rose from his purified tide, putting little salmons and whitebait
tenderly aside, and held out his arms to the Arirgin Themis, imploring
her to come and be his beautiful neighbour and love. Behold the
Cartoon. Finally, Mr. Lowe said that Inigo Jones had planned a
Palace for Charles the First near the suggested spot, the plans were
to be seen, and might be adopted. The House, simply staggered,
could only beg that the subject might be adjourned ; and in about three
weeks the Australian Slasher is to produce a Government scheme.
Temple Bar, again saved, has been in such a paroxysm of joy ever
since, that we hear that Messrs. Ciiilds’ employes complain of its

unseemly agitation, and threaten to ballast it with a few tons of sove-
reigns, if it will not keep quiet.

Electors of Dublin, an address was carried for inquiry into your
Electioneering behaviour. Step out now, and say something for your-
selves, for we ’re in a mighty purifying mood.

Wednesday. Of course, a new and reformed Parliament must be
asked for its opinion as to marrying your Wife’s Sister. We ha.d the
usual arguments, and the battie was ended by two of the Ministers,
who opposed each other with all their might. Mr. Bright had never-
heard any real argument against the alteration of the law. He was a
Quaker, and his sect had always allowed such marriages. Warriors
and lords were bad enough, as Sir John Coleridge’s relative, the
great poet, had said, but priests were worse, and the opposition to this ■
Bill was ecclesiastical rubbish. The Solicitor-General, nothing-
moved by the family quotation, responded that Christianity had for j
1500 years repudiated such marriages, that it was a woman’s question,
and that, the women of England were not converted to the new doc-
trine. He objected to the change

“ Because it endangers one of the most blessed and delightful relations
which can exist between man and woman, because it narrows the circle of the
affection into which passion cannot enter, an affection which cultivates the
highest and purest parts of our nature, and which they would all agree with
Mr. Bright in characterising as being that to which we owe a debt greater
than we can express.”

On division the Second Reading was carried by 243 to 144, majority
99, and the ladies in the cage called their gallery instantly set up such
a clatter, clapping hands, waving handkerchiefs, and rattling parasols,
that Mr. Punch, who seldom wonders at anything a woman does,
almost wondered at such a demonstration, though he sternly rebuked
a cynical Member near him, who growled that a good many females
seemed very anxious for the deaths of their sisters.. The Bill will be
thrown out by the House of Lords, as matter of course. . Do you
remember what Lord Palmerston said about it—that . it was a
humane measure, for it would enable a man, though he married twice,
to have but one mother-in-law.

Thursday. What’s the Tendering Hundreds Railway Bill? No

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHAPIVAPI.