Punch: Punch (56.1869)

TOUCHING A RECITAL.

Dear Punch,

I was a solicitor once. But, becoming conscientious, I of
course renounced that calling.

I remember that when I made Deeds, I had to put in Recitals. They
were of no use, but awfully easy and splendidly profitable. I need not
explain what they were, except that they were verbiage. Justifiable,
however, because I was inadequately paid for what really demanded
skill, and was useful.

The other day 1 went to listen to a Recital at the St. James’s Hall.
It was not in the least like mine. It was made by Madame Arabella
Goddard, to whose name you rhymed—

“ Her with admiration all the critical squad heard.”

It. was not easy at all, except to listen to, for it was Music of the
highest class. I hope it was profitable—certainly there was a first-rate
audience. The lady’s playing is one of those things which you can’t
puff, for you can’t praise it enough. It is per se. I wish you would
go and hear the next—there is only one more. Mr. Benedict sits
near her all the time, which 1 should say was taking an unfair advan-
tage (for I don’t believe he pays for his seat), only that everybody can
hear every note as well as Mr. Benedict can. Also he accompanies
a very nice young lady, Miss Edmonds, who sings charmingly. Upon
my word, I wish you’d go and hear a Becital. You’d thank me for
sending you. Ever yours,

Carduus Benedictus.

The Pboeoundest Conviction oe the Ex-Member for Shef-
field.—That Roebuck and He-roe are two names for the same thing.

FASHIONABLE SUICIDE.

“ What fools there are in the world ! ” will be a natural reflection
by the philosophic mind on learning the morsel of intelligence sub-
joined :—

An American paper says that nearlv all the brilliant complexions seen
among the fashionable women of New York are the result of eating arsenic.
Since the introduction of the blonde fashion, arsenic eating has become almost
a mania.”

“ Almost a mania” seems rather a mild phrase. A person who can
swallow poison I'or the sake of her complexion must be either quite a
maniac or else a downright idiot. But this is not the only proof of
modern fashionable insanity. Some ladies take poison to beautify their
eyes, and others dye their hair with poisonous decoctions. Beauties
without paint will swallow deadly drugs to give a charm to their com-
plexions, and will run the risk of killing themselves in order to look
killing. Tight.-lacing is another form of fashionable suicide, and annu-
ally slaughters a hecatomb of victims. Indeed, the wonder is that
ladies who only care to live in order to be looked at, have vitality
sufficient to keep them in existence, whde their life is so imperilled by
the means which they employ for the enhancement of their beauty.

The Situation in France.

(Walker’s Telegrams.) pAKI8. jcne 12.
Large bodies of troops have been massed at Satory.

The principal sausage-makers of Paris have received immense orders. Great
quantities of Champagne are stored.

11 is whispered that events are about to repeat themselves.

256

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARTVARI.

[June 19, 1869.

NOT A PIN TO CHOOSE.

The Commemoration at Oxford this year proved a break-
down, or, if you had rather call it, a break-up; the Under-
graduates making a row that at last became insufferable.
Noisy boys. Before the business of the day, which was
not to be concluded, began, after they had hissed off a man
in the area with a green tie, according to report:—

“ ‘ The Queen ’ was now loudly cheered, while the mention of
‘Bright’ and ‘Gladstone’s’ names provoked a terrific storm
of disapprobation. ‘Lord Derby' and ‘ Gathornf. Hardy’
were cheered again and again, as were also the ‘ Bishop of
Oxford’ and ‘ Dr. Pusey.’ ”

When our young friends cheered Dr. Wilberforce and
Dr. Pusey, it could not have occurred to them that what
they have to thank the latter for, is the inability of the
parsons to poke up the British Lion against the Ministers
whose names and policy were hooted on Wednesday last
in the Sheldonian Theatre. They will probably live to
find out that, whatever ulterior measures progressive
statesmen may adopt with regard to Church and State, the
influence exercised by the Puseyites and the Ritualists will
have rendered it impossible among the People of England
to get up any the faintest cry of “ No Popery ! ”

PUNCH ASKS A QUESTION.

Another terrible colliery explosion ! Sixty men killed
or injured at Ferndale, where, in 1867, 175 poor fellows
were destroyed by the fatal firedamp ! “ It is supposed,”
says the report of the lesser catastrophe, “ that a man had
opened his safety lamp to light his pipe, and thus exploded
the firedamp.”

Punch refers to these calamities in order to ask a ques-
tion. Could not that powerful illuminator, the Magnesium
light, be employed in coal-mines, and thereby remove all
flame from close proximity to the “ workings ” ? Safety
Magnesium lamps placed in different parts of a mine would
be costly, no doubt, but the consumer would pay the
chaige, and every fire would burn the brighter when it was
known that the coals had been obtained with lessened
danger to the poor miner.

Latinitas Canina.

The Members of the “ Nulli Seeundus” Club had their
annual dinner on Saturday evening at the London Tavern,
Bishopsgate Sireet. It is not generally known that this
distinguished Society derived the name of Nulli Seeundus
from having declared their determination never to sanction
duelling by becoming, any one of them, second to anybody.

“EELS OVER HEAD.”

Pottles, who goes in for Deep Diving, has got in a Hole this Time,
and no Mistake !