DOI issue:
July 25, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0044
36
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARI VARj. [July 25, 1874.
AWKWARD !
“ 0, Edith, won’t you Kiss Dr. M‘Cluskie?”
“I’m so Shy, Mamma! You Kiss him First!”
THE NEXT COMET YEAR.
Diary of a Londoner in August, 18—.
3 a.m. to 4 am.—Got up rather late, my servant having forgotten
to call me at 2 ‘30 as ordered. The result of his negligence was that
I found the heat oppressive. It was quite a matter of difficulty to
keep cool even in my ice-bath. As my tailor had not sent home my
new clothes, I was obliged to wear my muslin suit, which is de-
cidedly hot for this time of the year.
4 a.m. to 5 a.m.-—"Went to Westminster Hall to hear my case
tried. The Judge, after complaining of the hours of the Court,
which are now from 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. (his Lordship said that 6 a.m.
1 would be sufficiently late for the ending of the day’s sitting), was
! forced to remove his wig. My Counsel’s junior (a promising young
j barrister of five-and-forty) fainted from the excessive heat. After
this my case was adjourned by general consent until the Autumn.
5 a.m. to 7 a.m.—Went to the Grand Review in Hyde Park. The
Troops looked very smart in their new straw hats and scarlet braces.
All the Generals carried the new regulation parasols which are
larger than civilian umbrellas. The Field-Marshal Commanding-
in-Chief wore several orders over his shirt-front.
_ 7 a.m. to 9 a.m.—At breakfast. I found that I had quite an ajipe-
tite, and enjoyed my wine-glass of iced tea immensely. The frozen
water-cress leaves (of which I ate at least a dozen) were much to
my liking.
10 a.m. to VI Noon.—Secured a nice cool tank in a deep part of
the Serpentine, and watched Society as it floated past me. Some of
the lately-imported whales swim with fine action and look admirably
well in their new harness made of frosted glass.
12 Noon to 2 p.m.—Enjoyed a siesta on my new patent refrigerator
sofa.
2 p.m. to 5 p.m.—Hard at work reading the iced edition of the
daily papers. The new snow-showers in the House of Commons seem
j to work well. During last night’s Debate the thermometer stood as
I low as 95° in the shade.
5 p.m. to 7 p.m.—Had a nice little dinner at the Arctic Restaurant
(a place I prefer in this weather to the Club, as it is cooler), of which
the foliowung is the menu:—
Soup.—Potage a l’eau glace.
Fish.—Slices of fried shrimp.
Entree.—Butterflies a la Russe.
Roti.—Cut off the mutton-chop. (The joint of the day.)
Poultry.—Leg of a pigeon (grilled).
7 p.m. to 9 p.m.—Went to the Iced Swimming Bath (late the Royal
Italian Opera) to see the new Aquatic Ballet. Mlle. Rose Neige
(the premiere danseuse) is one of the most graceful swimmers I have
ever seen.
9 p.m.—Returned home tired to death. Having forgotten my
latch-key, I had to ring up my landlady. My late return caused
her great surprise. She declared that during the present trying
season every one wishing to retain health should be in bed by six p.m.
I feel that she is right. After smoking the third of a cigarette, I
got into my new four-poster shower-bath, tied down the string, and
went to sleep.
De Groof.
(.Killed in Attempting to Fly, July 9, 1874.)
He who provides for all beneath the sky,
Made man to walk, as he made birds to fly;
Then let man stick to earth, and have the sense
Hot to fly in the face of Providence!
True and False Teeth.
A “ Surgeon-Dentist ”’s advertisement in a daily paper thus
commences:—
“ Teeth.—‘ The best is the cheapest.’ ”
Not quite so. The best teeth are (not is) those which Nature
supplies gratuitously. The cheapest teeth, at their very best, can
only be second best.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARI VARj. [July 25, 1874.
AWKWARD !
“ 0, Edith, won’t you Kiss Dr. M‘Cluskie?”
“I’m so Shy, Mamma! You Kiss him First!”
THE NEXT COMET YEAR.
Diary of a Londoner in August, 18—.
3 a.m. to 4 am.—Got up rather late, my servant having forgotten
to call me at 2 ‘30 as ordered. The result of his negligence was that
I found the heat oppressive. It was quite a matter of difficulty to
keep cool even in my ice-bath. As my tailor had not sent home my
new clothes, I was obliged to wear my muslin suit, which is de-
cidedly hot for this time of the year.
4 a.m. to 5 a.m.-—"Went to Westminster Hall to hear my case
tried. The Judge, after complaining of the hours of the Court,
which are now from 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. (his Lordship said that 6 a.m.
1 would be sufficiently late for the ending of the day’s sitting), was
! forced to remove his wig. My Counsel’s junior (a promising young
j barrister of five-and-forty) fainted from the excessive heat. After
this my case was adjourned by general consent until the Autumn.
5 a.m. to 7 a.m.—Went to the Grand Review in Hyde Park. The
Troops looked very smart in their new straw hats and scarlet braces.
All the Generals carried the new regulation parasols which are
larger than civilian umbrellas. The Field-Marshal Commanding-
in-Chief wore several orders over his shirt-front.
_ 7 a.m. to 9 a.m.—At breakfast. I found that I had quite an ajipe-
tite, and enjoyed my wine-glass of iced tea immensely. The frozen
water-cress leaves (of which I ate at least a dozen) were much to
my liking.
10 a.m. to VI Noon.—Secured a nice cool tank in a deep part of
the Serpentine, and watched Society as it floated past me. Some of
the lately-imported whales swim with fine action and look admirably
well in their new harness made of frosted glass.
12 Noon to 2 p.m.—Enjoyed a siesta on my new patent refrigerator
sofa.
2 p.m. to 5 p.m.—Hard at work reading the iced edition of the
daily papers. The new snow-showers in the House of Commons seem
j to work well. During last night’s Debate the thermometer stood as
I low as 95° in the shade.
5 p.m. to 7 p.m.—Had a nice little dinner at the Arctic Restaurant
(a place I prefer in this weather to the Club, as it is cooler), of which
the foliowung is the menu:—
Soup.—Potage a l’eau glace.
Fish.—Slices of fried shrimp.
Entree.—Butterflies a la Russe.
Roti.—Cut off the mutton-chop. (The joint of the day.)
Poultry.—Leg of a pigeon (grilled).
7 p.m. to 9 p.m.—Went to the Iced Swimming Bath (late the Royal
Italian Opera) to see the new Aquatic Ballet. Mlle. Rose Neige
(the premiere danseuse) is one of the most graceful swimmers I have
ever seen.
9 p.m.—Returned home tired to death. Having forgotten my
latch-key, I had to ring up my landlady. My late return caused
her great surprise. She declared that during the present trying
season every one wishing to retain health should be in bed by six p.m.
I feel that she is right. After smoking the third of a cigarette, I
got into my new four-poster shower-bath, tied down the string, and
went to sleep.
De Groof.
(.Killed in Attempting to Fly, July 9, 1874.)
He who provides for all beneath the sky,
Made man to walk, as he made birds to fly;
Then let man stick to earth, and have the sense
Hot to fly in the face of Providence!
True and False Teeth.
A “ Surgeon-Dentist ”’s advertisement in a daily paper thus
commences:—
“ Teeth.—‘ The best is the cheapest.’ ”
Not quite so. The best teeth are (not is) those which Nature
supplies gratuitously. The cheapest teeth, at their very best, can
only be second best.