DOI Heft:
December 12, 1874
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0252
December 12, 1874.]
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
245
A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.
Greengrocer. “ Want a Penn’orth o’ Coals, do ter ? You won’t be able
to ’ave a Penn’orth much longer. They’re a going up. Coals is Coals
NOW, I CAN TELL YER ! ”
Boy. “Ah, well, Mother’ll be glad o’ that, ’cause she says the last
•Coals she had o’ you was all SLATES ! ! ”
PROPHETIC NURSERY RHYMES.
Mr. Punch, greatest of all discoverers, has proved to
his own, and, therefore, to the world’s, satisfaction, that
the classical poetry of infancy is full of prophetic mean-
ing. The rates sacer of the nursery was really a seer. A
few examples will show this. We need not quote in full
the simple, yet profound, verses which nobody ever
forgets.
“ Humpy Dumpty sat on a wall.”
Mr. Gladstone.
“ Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner ...”
Mr. Disraeli.
“ Who killed Cock Robin ? ”
Prince Bismarck.
“ Old Father Longlegs
Wouldn’t say his prayers.”
Lord Acton.
“ There was an old woman
Lived under a hill,
She had so many children
She couldn’t sit still.”
The Colonial Secretary.
“ There was a ship a-sailing,
A-sailing o’er the sea.”
The Arctic Expedition.
“ Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye.”
The Budget.
“ There was a little man,
And he had a little gun.”
Sir William Armstrong.
“ See-saw ! Margery Daw—
Johnny shall have a new Master ...”
France.
“ Hush-a-by, Baby, on the tree-top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock ...”
Ex-King Amadeus of Spain.
“ Mistress Mary,
Quite contrary ...”
The Church of Borne.
“ Three children, sliding on the ice,
All on a summer’s day ...”
Prince’s Skating Club.
A RITE REVISED.
“ Our marriage service is too refined. . . . We should have a form for
matches of convenience, of which there are many.”—Dr. Johnson.
We have private information that the Committee for the Revision
of the Prayer Book has suggested a new form of Marriage Ceremony
for certain kinds of marriages, such as may be called a la mode and
de convenance. The substitute is as follows :—
Minister. Who giveth this woman to be married to this man ?
Father and Mother. We do.
Then shall the Bridegroom take the Bride by the right hand, and say:
“ I [Sir Barnaby Bareacres] do take thee [Anna Maria Gub-
bins] with all thy fortune {here the amount to be specified, with such
legal details as may be necessary) to be my wedded wife, to have and
to hold all the aforesaid property for myself and my heirs, with free
and unrestricted disposition of the same ” (or under certain restric-
tions, as the case may be).
And then the Bride shall say :
“I [Anna Maria Gubbins] do consent to be given to thee [Sir
Barnaby Bareacres], with all the aforesaid (here to follow the
full declaration of property) for thy wedded wife, that is. in con-
sideration of making over the above property to thee [Sir B. B.], it
he understood that I am to hear the title of Lady Barnaby Bare-
j acres, thy lawful wife.”
Minister. Do you consider the title cheap at the price ?
Bride, Father, and Mother. We do.
Minister {to Bridegroom). Do you consider the price an equivalent
for the title ?
Bridegroom and Poor Relations. We do.
Minister. Forasmuch then as ye have agreed to be joined together
in such a state of marriage as seemeth to all convenient, I do now
declare you both to be man and wife, and no more need be said
about it.
It would certainly save an unnecessary amount of false swearing
and subsequent recrimination were Dr. Johnson’s suggestion in
1769 acted upon in 1874.
HEINOUS ATROCITY.
From a statement in the Times it appears that poachers and pot-
hunters are actually in the habit of using salmon roe for bait, inso-
much as to have created so great a demand for it that it fetches
from five to six shillings a pound—truly “ a most demoralising
premium for cutting off the river supplies at the fountain head,
and killing the Salmon heavy with spawn.” Atrocious! “ Yet
the preponderance of Border opinion is in favour of repealing the
clause ” in the Fisheries Act relative to salmon-spawn, “which for-
bids its employment.” This is one phase of the demoralisation
prevalent in the North, of _ which that manifest in the Lancashire
kicking and wife-beating is another. Something must be done to
check it; and at any rate there can be no doubt as to the preventive
that ought to be resorted to for putting a stop to the abuse and
destruction of salmon roe. It is obviously the Lash.
All One.
The following correction appeared the other day in the Times :—
“The Vatican Decrees.—In Canon Oakley’s letter in the Times of
Saturday, for ‘ according to the recent theology of the Church,’ read ‘ received
theology of the Church.’ ”
Received and recent, if we are to accept the admissions of Canon
Oakley and 'the declarations of Dr. Manning, come to the same
thing.
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
245
A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.
Greengrocer. “ Want a Penn’orth o’ Coals, do ter ? You won’t be able
to ’ave a Penn’orth much longer. They’re a going up. Coals is Coals
NOW, I CAN TELL YER ! ”
Boy. “Ah, well, Mother’ll be glad o’ that, ’cause she says the last
•Coals she had o’ you was all SLATES ! ! ”
PROPHETIC NURSERY RHYMES.
Mr. Punch, greatest of all discoverers, has proved to
his own, and, therefore, to the world’s, satisfaction, that
the classical poetry of infancy is full of prophetic mean-
ing. The rates sacer of the nursery was really a seer. A
few examples will show this. We need not quote in full
the simple, yet profound, verses which nobody ever
forgets.
“ Humpy Dumpty sat on a wall.”
Mr. Gladstone.
“ Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner ...”
Mr. Disraeli.
“ Who killed Cock Robin ? ”
Prince Bismarck.
“ Old Father Longlegs
Wouldn’t say his prayers.”
Lord Acton.
“ There was an old woman
Lived under a hill,
She had so many children
She couldn’t sit still.”
The Colonial Secretary.
“ There was a ship a-sailing,
A-sailing o’er the sea.”
The Arctic Expedition.
“ Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye.”
The Budget.
“ There was a little man,
And he had a little gun.”
Sir William Armstrong.
“ See-saw ! Margery Daw—
Johnny shall have a new Master ...”
France.
“ Hush-a-by, Baby, on the tree-top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock ...”
Ex-King Amadeus of Spain.
“ Mistress Mary,
Quite contrary ...”
The Church of Borne.
“ Three children, sliding on the ice,
All on a summer’s day ...”
Prince’s Skating Club.
A RITE REVISED.
“ Our marriage service is too refined. . . . We should have a form for
matches of convenience, of which there are many.”—Dr. Johnson.
We have private information that the Committee for the Revision
of the Prayer Book has suggested a new form of Marriage Ceremony
for certain kinds of marriages, such as may be called a la mode and
de convenance. The substitute is as follows :—
Minister. Who giveth this woman to be married to this man ?
Father and Mother. We do.
Then shall the Bridegroom take the Bride by the right hand, and say:
“ I [Sir Barnaby Bareacres] do take thee [Anna Maria Gub-
bins] with all thy fortune {here the amount to be specified, with such
legal details as may be necessary) to be my wedded wife, to have and
to hold all the aforesaid property for myself and my heirs, with free
and unrestricted disposition of the same ” (or under certain restric-
tions, as the case may be).
And then the Bride shall say :
“I [Anna Maria Gubbins] do consent to be given to thee [Sir
Barnaby Bareacres], with all the aforesaid (here to follow the
full declaration of property) for thy wedded wife, that is. in con-
sideration of making over the above property to thee [Sir B. B.], it
he understood that I am to hear the title of Lady Barnaby Bare-
j acres, thy lawful wife.”
Minister. Do you consider the title cheap at the price ?
Bride, Father, and Mother. We do.
Minister {to Bridegroom). Do you consider the price an equivalent
for the title ?
Bridegroom and Poor Relations. We do.
Minister. Forasmuch then as ye have agreed to be joined together
in such a state of marriage as seemeth to all convenient, I do now
declare you both to be man and wife, and no more need be said
about it.
It would certainly save an unnecessary amount of false swearing
and subsequent recrimination were Dr. Johnson’s suggestion in
1769 acted upon in 1874.
HEINOUS ATROCITY.
From a statement in the Times it appears that poachers and pot-
hunters are actually in the habit of using salmon roe for bait, inso-
much as to have created so great a demand for it that it fetches
from five to six shillings a pound—truly “ a most demoralising
premium for cutting off the river supplies at the fountain head,
and killing the Salmon heavy with spawn.” Atrocious! “ Yet
the preponderance of Border opinion is in favour of repealing the
clause ” in the Fisheries Act relative to salmon-spawn, “which for-
bids its employment.” This is one phase of the demoralisation
prevalent in the North, of _ which that manifest in the Lancashire
kicking and wife-beating is another. Something must be done to
check it; and at any rate there can be no doubt as to the preventive
that ought to be resorted to for putting a stop to the abuse and
destruction of salmon roe. It is obviously the Lash.
All One.
The following correction appeared the other day in the Times :—
“The Vatican Decrees.—In Canon Oakley’s letter in the Times of
Saturday, for ‘ according to the recent theology of the Church,’ read ‘ received
theology of the Church.’ ”
Received and recent, if we are to accept the admissions of Canon
Oakley and 'the declarations of Dr. Manning, come to the same
thing.