DOI Heft:
October 3, 1874
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0143
October 3, 1874.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
135
MATTER!”
Portly Old Swell (on reading Professor Tyndall’s Speech). “ Dear me ! Is it
poss’ble ! Most 'xtr’ord’nary !—(throws down the Review)—that I should
HAVE BEEN ORIGINALLY A ‘PRIMORDIAL ATOMIC GLOBULE’!!”
MOVEMENTS OP M.P.’S.
We notice yearly more and more that during the dull season certain journals
fill some inches of their valuable space hy reporting the movements of the
Members of the Government, and, moreover, those of any gentlemen in Parlia-
ment who have happened to become conspicuous in debate. Not to be behind-
hand in conforming with the fashion of the age, we beg leave to furnish a few
details of this sort; although we altogether question the propriety of publishing
the private acts and pastimes of any public men.
Mr. Gladstone has just started on a journey to the East, for the purpose of
examining the various claims advanced hy several ancient cities to have been
the actual birthplace of the poet he so loves. Ere leaving home he stated to a
confidential friend that he saw three courses open ; namely, (1) To go at once ;
(2) to put off going ; or (3) not to go at all: and, after a protracted mental con-
flict with himself, he finally decided in favour of the first.
Mr. Disraeli has been summoned on a visit to Balmoral, that he may have
the honour of submitting to Her Majesty a scheme he has concocted, with the
aid of Canon Kingsley, for severing the connection between the English State
and Church.
Mr. Lowe is going through a rigid course of training, to prepare himself for
making a bicycle excursion from the end of Dover Pier to the door of John o’
Groat’s House. He rises every morning at four o’clock precisely, swallows five
raw eggs mixed with a cup of rum and milk, mounts his bicycle and whirls off
at full speed, round and round his little grassplot, until eight o’clock; then
bathes, and eats for breakfast a pint of oatmeal porridge and a pound of raw
beefsteak ; smokes a pipe and reads his newspaper till ten, practises the dumb-
bell exercise till noon, answers letters before lunching sparingly at one, and
whirls away again until he hears the second dinner-bell at half-past six o’clock.
The Marquis of Salisbury is out yachting in the Channel, in company with
Mr. Bradlaugh and Mr. Bernal Osborne, the latter costumed in the character
of Loyig Tom Coffin in the Pilot, as performed with such success by the late Mr.
T. P. Cooke.
The Right Honourable Mr. Speaker is living en retraite at a quiet
little village near to the Land’s End, and as far as possible from a news-
paper or post-office. As a pleasant and appropriate course of reading for
his holiday, he has set himself the task of going through
the whole of Hansard.
Messieurs Cross and Bruce, the rival liquor legis-
lators, are spending a few days at the hospitable residence
of their friend Sir Wilfrid Lawson. A select circle of
guests have been invited to meet them, including the
Past Master of the Grand Lodge of Good Templars, and
the Chairman of the Licensed Victuallers’ Defence Asso-
ciation. For the refreshment of his visitors, while shoot-
ing on his land, the worthy host has given orders that
a cask of goodly home-brewed should he always kept
on tap at the Park Lodge, which being a trine over
three miles from their bed-rooms, will in no wise con-
travene the law respecting bond fide travellers.
Mr. Ayrton is at present sojourning at Athens, where
he is busily engaged in the collection of materials for his
long meditated lectures upon Ancient Art.
The Marquis of Ripon has just set forth on a pil-
grimage to Paray-le-Monial, in company with Mr.
Newdegate and the Rev. C. H. Spurgeon : the former
carrying a score of unboiled peas in his left hoot, and
the latter wearing full canonicals of the Order of the
Carmelites.
Mr. Bright, it is expected, will start for Nova Zernbla
in the middle of next week; intending there to pass
his Christmas, and enjoy the famous sport of fly-fish-
ing for whales, for which that country is so celebrated.
Mr. Whalley occupies himself in his well-earned
vacation by making a selection from his recent public
speeches, which he intends forthwith to publish, as
models of modern oratory, for the use of infant schools.
THE CONGEESS MANIA.
What to do in Autumn
Often people ask:
Something may he taught ’em
If they like the task.
Follow not the pheasant—
Frivolous affair;
Wisdom’s effervescent
In Congress everywhere.
Pundits Oriental
Give us Sanskrit puns ;
They are ornamental-
Looking sons of guns :
They can talk in Tamil,
’Mid many other feats ;
Why don’t they ride the camel
Through our sober streets ?
Congress of Fungologists—
Toadstool-eating men,
Who appear apologists
For aught that grows in glen.
Punch of no such rueful
Fungi will partake;
In pate give him truffle,
And mushrooms with his steak.
The Congress scientific
Must bore us, just a bit;
Its sopor-sudor-ific
Results, we all admit.
The Congress Mr. Punch is
More willing far to share
Involves the best of lunches
In bright October air.
It puts an end to troubles,
And brings a calm repose,
The wine that briskly bubbles,
The wit that freely flows,
The pungence of a salad,
The laughter of the young,
The music of a ballad
By red lips gaily sung.
’Twixt politics and science
The year is taken up :
At both Punch hurls defiance,
And means to drink his “ cup;
Leave savans to their tall ways,
And saints to their repose ;
Hold Autumn Congress always
Of the nicest girls he knows.
»
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
135
MATTER!”
Portly Old Swell (on reading Professor Tyndall’s Speech). “ Dear me ! Is it
poss’ble ! Most 'xtr’ord’nary !—(throws down the Review)—that I should
HAVE BEEN ORIGINALLY A ‘PRIMORDIAL ATOMIC GLOBULE’!!”
MOVEMENTS OP M.P.’S.
We notice yearly more and more that during the dull season certain journals
fill some inches of their valuable space hy reporting the movements of the
Members of the Government, and, moreover, those of any gentlemen in Parlia-
ment who have happened to become conspicuous in debate. Not to be behind-
hand in conforming with the fashion of the age, we beg leave to furnish a few
details of this sort; although we altogether question the propriety of publishing
the private acts and pastimes of any public men.
Mr. Gladstone has just started on a journey to the East, for the purpose of
examining the various claims advanced hy several ancient cities to have been
the actual birthplace of the poet he so loves. Ere leaving home he stated to a
confidential friend that he saw three courses open ; namely, (1) To go at once ;
(2) to put off going ; or (3) not to go at all: and, after a protracted mental con-
flict with himself, he finally decided in favour of the first.
Mr. Disraeli has been summoned on a visit to Balmoral, that he may have
the honour of submitting to Her Majesty a scheme he has concocted, with the
aid of Canon Kingsley, for severing the connection between the English State
and Church.
Mr. Lowe is going through a rigid course of training, to prepare himself for
making a bicycle excursion from the end of Dover Pier to the door of John o’
Groat’s House. He rises every morning at four o’clock precisely, swallows five
raw eggs mixed with a cup of rum and milk, mounts his bicycle and whirls off
at full speed, round and round his little grassplot, until eight o’clock; then
bathes, and eats for breakfast a pint of oatmeal porridge and a pound of raw
beefsteak ; smokes a pipe and reads his newspaper till ten, practises the dumb-
bell exercise till noon, answers letters before lunching sparingly at one, and
whirls away again until he hears the second dinner-bell at half-past six o’clock.
The Marquis of Salisbury is out yachting in the Channel, in company with
Mr. Bradlaugh and Mr. Bernal Osborne, the latter costumed in the character
of Loyig Tom Coffin in the Pilot, as performed with such success by the late Mr.
T. P. Cooke.
The Right Honourable Mr. Speaker is living en retraite at a quiet
little village near to the Land’s End, and as far as possible from a news-
paper or post-office. As a pleasant and appropriate course of reading for
his holiday, he has set himself the task of going through
the whole of Hansard.
Messieurs Cross and Bruce, the rival liquor legis-
lators, are spending a few days at the hospitable residence
of their friend Sir Wilfrid Lawson. A select circle of
guests have been invited to meet them, including the
Past Master of the Grand Lodge of Good Templars, and
the Chairman of the Licensed Victuallers’ Defence Asso-
ciation. For the refreshment of his visitors, while shoot-
ing on his land, the worthy host has given orders that
a cask of goodly home-brewed should he always kept
on tap at the Park Lodge, which being a trine over
three miles from their bed-rooms, will in no wise con-
travene the law respecting bond fide travellers.
Mr. Ayrton is at present sojourning at Athens, where
he is busily engaged in the collection of materials for his
long meditated lectures upon Ancient Art.
The Marquis of Ripon has just set forth on a pil-
grimage to Paray-le-Monial, in company with Mr.
Newdegate and the Rev. C. H. Spurgeon : the former
carrying a score of unboiled peas in his left hoot, and
the latter wearing full canonicals of the Order of the
Carmelites.
Mr. Bright, it is expected, will start for Nova Zernbla
in the middle of next week; intending there to pass
his Christmas, and enjoy the famous sport of fly-fish-
ing for whales, for which that country is so celebrated.
Mr. Whalley occupies himself in his well-earned
vacation by making a selection from his recent public
speeches, which he intends forthwith to publish, as
models of modern oratory, for the use of infant schools.
THE CONGEESS MANIA.
What to do in Autumn
Often people ask:
Something may he taught ’em
If they like the task.
Follow not the pheasant—
Frivolous affair;
Wisdom’s effervescent
In Congress everywhere.
Pundits Oriental
Give us Sanskrit puns ;
They are ornamental-
Looking sons of guns :
They can talk in Tamil,
’Mid many other feats ;
Why don’t they ride the camel
Through our sober streets ?
Congress of Fungologists—
Toadstool-eating men,
Who appear apologists
For aught that grows in glen.
Punch of no such rueful
Fungi will partake;
In pate give him truffle,
And mushrooms with his steak.
The Congress scientific
Must bore us, just a bit;
Its sopor-sudor-ific
Results, we all admit.
The Congress Mr. Punch is
More willing far to share
Involves the best of lunches
In bright October air.
It puts an end to troubles,
And brings a calm repose,
The wine that briskly bubbles,
The wit that freely flows,
The pungence of a salad,
The laughter of the young,
The music of a ballad
By red lips gaily sung.
’Twixt politics and science
The year is taken up :
At both Punch hurls defiance,
And means to drink his “ cup;
Leave savans to their tall ways,
And saints to their repose ;
Hold Autumn Congress always
Of the nicest girls he knows.
»