DOI issue:
October 31, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0186
October 31, 1874.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
179
THE SOUR TRUTH.
Country Parson (with a few Friends at Dinner). “Thomas, that Claret Cup is not quite Right. It is too Sweet.’’
Thomas. “ Yes, Sir ; but Cook said as the Lemons was all Squoze into the Jelly.”
Miss Edith’s morning for going to the market, which she had taken
to do, regularly twice a week, by Master’s wish, who said, one day
at dinner, that it would improve her mind, and he a check on
Madame Pichou at the same time. Master was always a great one
for improving other people’s minds, and was that generous about it
that I really do believe he gave more time to them than to his own.
And he was so mad to have a check on Madame Pichou, that he
started off one morning to market himself, saying he was sure that
she made a profit on the things she bought for us. But he didn’t
take much by that, for, after he had wasted half his morning in
cheapening three hunches of radishes, he got tired, and ended by
giving the people everything they asked, and coming home, followed
by two of the Baggages carrying two baskets full of things that
weren’t wanted, when, you know, Madame Pichou would have
bought the right things cheap, and carried ’em home into the
bargain. But of course Master wasn’t going to give way, and he
went on at Mistress, all dinner-time, about the power of the master’s
eye, until one could hardly look him in the face; and so it was
settled that Miss Edith, who certainly does favour Master about
the eyes, should go regularly and take Madame Pichou or me with
her.
I hadn’t been as yet, for I’d always had one of my bad headaches
on market-days ; hut, the morning after the Ducasse, I thought I
really ought to make an effort, so I went to Miss Edith and told
1 her, that if she wished, I was ready to go.
“Are you sure you haven’t got a headache, Elizabeth ? ” she
I said. “ You know you were out last night, and you must be tired.”
“ Thank you, Miss,” I said. “ I can’t say I’m that free from
pain that I could wish, hut then I was taught at school that it is so
‘ sublime’ to ‘suffer and be strong,’ ” I said, as I got out the big
market-basket; “ and we never know how our hacks will be
strengthened till we take up our load.”
So she thanked me for being so willing and obliging, and away
we went.
Betting on Next Year’s Budget.—A Million to One against it.
WHY THE PRINCE WENT TO FRANCE.
Opinion of M. le Due de Chateau-Clinquant.—Because His
Royal Highness is an Imperialist, and wished to persuade M. le
Due de Magenta to resign in favour of the Emperor Napoleon
the Fourth.
Opinion of M. le Vicomte Sansunsous de Sang-Azur.—Because
His Royal Highness desired to pay a mark of respect to the kingdom
of His Majesty le Roi Henri Cinq.
Opinion of M. Centredroite.—Because His Royal Highness is an
Orleanist.
Opinion of le Citoyen Bonnetrouge.—Because the Prince ad-
mires the greatest Republic in the world.
Opinion of a celebrated French Author.—Because France is the
mother of all the countries on the globe, and England is her first
cousin. Also because it is sublime, grand, stupendous—at once
solemn and vivacious, at once impossible and yet true, &c., &c.
Opinion of M. Chassepigeon.—Because His Royal Highness has
heard of the (brand Sport of France, and is a perfect “ gentlemans-
ridere ” with his “ breche-lodere.”
Opinion of M. Bourgeois de Paris.—Because England is always
one great fog, and France (that is to say, Paris) is the proper resi-
dence for a Prince.
Opinion of the Rest of the French Nation.—Because it was the
wish of “ le Lor Maire de Londres.”
Birds on the Wing.
How much unlike the race of Swallows fly
The Irish Clergy to a milder sky !
No Spring these birds of passage will recall;
And there is not a Sweep among them all.
A Thought in the British Museum.—Manchester possesses a fine
Free Library. An appropriate name for it would be the Cottonian.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
179
THE SOUR TRUTH.
Country Parson (with a few Friends at Dinner). “Thomas, that Claret Cup is not quite Right. It is too Sweet.’’
Thomas. “ Yes, Sir ; but Cook said as the Lemons was all Squoze into the Jelly.”
Miss Edith’s morning for going to the market, which she had taken
to do, regularly twice a week, by Master’s wish, who said, one day
at dinner, that it would improve her mind, and he a check on
Madame Pichou at the same time. Master was always a great one
for improving other people’s minds, and was that generous about it
that I really do believe he gave more time to them than to his own.
And he was so mad to have a check on Madame Pichou, that he
started off one morning to market himself, saying he was sure that
she made a profit on the things she bought for us. But he didn’t
take much by that, for, after he had wasted half his morning in
cheapening three hunches of radishes, he got tired, and ended by
giving the people everything they asked, and coming home, followed
by two of the Baggages carrying two baskets full of things that
weren’t wanted, when, you know, Madame Pichou would have
bought the right things cheap, and carried ’em home into the
bargain. But of course Master wasn’t going to give way, and he
went on at Mistress, all dinner-time, about the power of the master’s
eye, until one could hardly look him in the face; and so it was
settled that Miss Edith, who certainly does favour Master about
the eyes, should go regularly and take Madame Pichou or me with
her.
I hadn’t been as yet, for I’d always had one of my bad headaches
on market-days ; hut, the morning after the Ducasse, I thought I
really ought to make an effort, so I went to Miss Edith and told
1 her, that if she wished, I was ready to go.
“Are you sure you haven’t got a headache, Elizabeth ? ” she
I said. “ You know you were out last night, and you must be tired.”
“ Thank you, Miss,” I said. “ I can’t say I’m that free from
pain that I could wish, hut then I was taught at school that it is so
‘ sublime’ to ‘suffer and be strong,’ ” I said, as I got out the big
market-basket; “ and we never know how our hacks will be
strengthened till we take up our load.”
So she thanked me for being so willing and obliging, and away
we went.
Betting on Next Year’s Budget.—A Million to One against it.
WHY THE PRINCE WENT TO FRANCE.
Opinion of M. le Due de Chateau-Clinquant.—Because His
Royal Highness is an Imperialist, and wished to persuade M. le
Due de Magenta to resign in favour of the Emperor Napoleon
the Fourth.
Opinion of M. le Vicomte Sansunsous de Sang-Azur.—Because
His Royal Highness desired to pay a mark of respect to the kingdom
of His Majesty le Roi Henri Cinq.
Opinion of M. Centredroite.—Because His Royal Highness is an
Orleanist.
Opinion of le Citoyen Bonnetrouge.—Because the Prince ad-
mires the greatest Republic in the world.
Opinion of a celebrated French Author.—Because France is the
mother of all the countries on the globe, and England is her first
cousin. Also because it is sublime, grand, stupendous—at once
solemn and vivacious, at once impossible and yet true, &c., &c.
Opinion of M. Chassepigeon.—Because His Royal Highness has
heard of the (brand Sport of France, and is a perfect “ gentlemans-
ridere ” with his “ breche-lodere.”
Opinion of M. Bourgeois de Paris.—Because England is always
one great fog, and France (that is to say, Paris) is the proper resi-
dence for a Prince.
Opinion of the Rest of the French Nation.—Because it was the
wish of “ le Lor Maire de Londres.”
Birds on the Wing.
How much unlike the race of Swallows fly
The Irish Clergy to a milder sky !
No Spring these birds of passage will recall;
And there is not a Sweep among them all.
A Thought in the British Museum.—Manchester possesses a fine
Free Library. An appropriate name for it would be the Cottonian.