Punch (67.1874)

220 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 21, 1874.

A LUXURIOUS HABIT.

Philanthropist {to Railway Porter). “ Then what Time do you get to Bed ? ”

Porter. “ Well, I seldom what yer may call gets to Bed myself, ’cause o’ the Night Trains. But my Brother, as

USED TO WORK THE P’lNTS FURTHER DOWN THE LlNE, WENT TO BED LAST CHRISTMAS AFTER THE ACCIDENT, AND NEVER-”

[Train rushes in, and the Parties rush off.

EXPIRING COPYRIGHTS.

“ There was once a London publisher who was described as a vulture feed-
ing on expiring copyrights.”—The Master of the Rolls.

Such publishers Punch does not want to know,

But fain be would learn, from some lawyer clever,

Why should the right in works of genius go,

While land and stocks and shares are owned for ever ?

Just a few years beyond an author’s life
The work he does belongs to his relations:

And then, the publishers, in venal strife,

May sell for pence the heritage of nations.

Well for the people they should cheaply read
The great work of some intellectual giant,

Who laughs at every superstitious creed,

And is of every form of cant defiant.

But, England, an ill use thou seem’st to foster
When of thy greatest men the seed thou starvest,

Tiiat dwellers in the Bow of Paternoster
May from their writings reap an ample harvest.

Lords of wide manors, gained, perchance, by crime,

Leave to their children woods and fields and waters:

Why should not gold from golden song sublime
Subsistence be for poets’ sons and daughters ?

The Kingdom of Beer.

Is it the fact that, as Sir Wilfrid Lawson says, “ Beer is King
in England” F If that were true, His Majesty’s subjects would be
as sober as they were meant to be made when shops were licensed
for beer alone to be “drunk on the premises.” Surely it is not
Beer but Alcohol that reigns in Gin Palaces.

BIRDS IN THE HAND.

As the popularity of hattue shooting seems to be yearly on the
increase, a new “ Gam6 Protection Bill ” may be shortly expected.
With a view to improving the position of the Birds (as it may be
anticipated to become twelve months hence), Mr. Punch would
propose that the following regulations should be enforced by the
much-needed measure to which he has just made allusion.

1. The Birds should he allowed to leave their cages before they
are made the marks of the Sportsmen.

2. No Sportsman should fire at a Bird with a gun having more
than four barrels, unless he gives it (the Bird) a clear start of three
yards.

3. Birds answering to pet names should be allowed to see the
guns of the Sportsmen before they are fired at.

4. A Bird settling on the shoulder of a Sportsman should not be
fired at until it (the Bird) rises to fly away.

N.B.—This Regulation should always be enforced, as pot shots at
Birds in the above position often lead to accidents.

5. Birds should not be chained by their legs to the trees, unless
they (the Birds) are very wild, and show a decided disposition to
fly away.

6. Lastly, to distinguish hattue from other shooting, those who
take part in it should be known in future as Poulterers instead of
Sportsmen.

A Caution.

We are Giants at present, and quite big enough,

But take care how you stretch us—-we ain’t werry tough ;

And stretching might p’raps bring to light some weak pTnt in us,
Or, we both on us think, might p’raps lame every j’int in us.

Gog and Magog.

The Bar Sinister.—Temple Bar.