Punch (67.1874)

December 5, 1874. ] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 235

CONVENIENCE OF A LIGHT-WEIGHT GROOM.

Miss Ethel. “ Now, sit tight this Time, Charles. How could you be so Stupid as to let him go ?”

ADVERTISING GEMS.

An Advertisement in the Kent and Sussex Courier, on the part of
a “ Stud and Farm Company,” of “ Horses for Sale,” recommends
them as being “ in hard condition,” and further announces that—

“ Gentlemen wishing to rest in Large Boxes, and Straw Yards, or turn out
Superior Horses (not suffering or recovering from any illness), will find the
accommodation at this Farm unsurpassed.”

Ascetic Gentlemen wishing to rest in large boxes and straw yards
may he imagined to prefer being in somewhat hard condition them-
selves. Possibly, like Othello—

“ A natural and prompt alacrity
They ‘ find in hardness.’ ”

Accordingly, perhaps, a Gentleman of this hardy kind would
rather rest in a horse-box than sleep in a “ thrice-driven bed of
down.”

Under heading of “ Professional ” we are informed in the Brad-
ford Observer that there is—

WANTED immediately, at Holme Lane Congregational Chapel, a
competent Person to TAKE CHARGE of the SINGING and PLAY-
ING of the HARMONIUM. For further particulars apply, &c., &c.

A Harmonium, so completely self-acting as to play itself and to
sing, must he a wonder of musical mechanism far in advance of any
automaton piping-bullfinch ever exhibited. What a pity this
extraordinary instrument should abide in the obscurity of Holme
Lane ! Why is it not immediately brought up to South Kensington F
The proceeds of its sale or its exhibition would pay all the expenses
of the Congregational Chapel, in which the congregation could sing
to the accompaniment of an ordinary Harmonium, played by a com-
petent person, in the meanwhile.

The Wisbeach Telegraph also proclaims a singular want:—

ANTED, a Strong Boy, to live in the house, to mi Ur and work a
pair of Horses. Also a Boy to look after Cows and to groom. Good
characters required.—Apply &c., &c.

It is possible that a Boy might milk as well as work a pair of

mares—but Horses, how ? He might also milk two or more asses
without being necessarily a very strong Boy. Asses’ milk is a
reality, horses’ milk would be miraculous. The former is an article
of diet, on which children are sometimes reared. Does it ever im-
part the nature of the animal whence it is derived ; and can it be
that the Gentleman who notifies that he wants a strong Boy to milk
a pair of horses was brought up on asses’ milk F

HIGH AND LOW ART.

At an extraordinary Meeting of Crystal Palace Shareholders,
held the other day, certain dissatisfied members of that body
appear to have complained that their Board of Directors “ showed
a tendency to cultivate ‘ High Art ’ at their expensebut the
Times, pointing out the expediency of providing it as a special
attraction, truly tells them that “the Directors of the Crystal
Palace will surely not be blamed by the public for seeking to
provide amusements of an elevated kind.”. That is to say, such
amusements as a Burns Centenary, Schiller and Mendelssohn
Celebrations, and Handel Festivals. These all come under the
head of High Art, and in that sense may be said to be of an elevated
kind; but there are others, of which the Art displayed is high
only in the sense of physical altitude; and they, as given at the
Crystal Palace, if certainly elevated, were perhaps the reverse of
elevating. The performances of M. Blondest on the tight-rope, at
a dangerous elevation, were exhibitions of High Art, calculated
rather to gratify, than to elevate inferior minds. It may be hoped
that this kind of High Art will no more be cultivated at the Crystal
Palace.

Unseasonable Occurrence.

The papers announce, that, in Kensington Gardens, near the
bridge over the Serpentine, a horse-chestnut tree, almost bare of
leaves, has lately shown its confusion of Autumn with Spring by
breaking out into bloom. A tree so stupid, McWuttie observes, is
not a horse but an ass-chestnut.