Punch (74.1878)

Janua, v 12, 1878 ] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

-J

BRAYED TO DEATH.

Happily for the upholding of English common-sense impudently
defied, and the comfort of English timidity, well nigh flustered into
foolishness and brayed into bewilderment, England has a responsible
Government, as well as an irresponsible Press.

Lord Derby and Lord Carnarnost have their cold-water douches
ready to turn on sufferers from the inflammatory war-fever, due to the
infectious germs sown broadcast, from whatever motives, by a certain
section of the newspapers. "We will give this hot-headed little clique
the benefit of that charitable construction which it never extends to
those who differ from it, and assume it to be prompted less by wicked-
ness than unwisdom. Whatever the cause of its war-whooping, we

TOYING WITH PAUPERISM.

Mb. Punch, Sib,

As a porochial hofficer and offishal administeriater of poro-
chial economy purmit me to purtestagin them there Crismas appeals
as as lately bin apperin in the papers on bearf of them goodfor-
nothink Porpers. The most owdacious of Witch I considers the
houtcry about Childhood without Toys, and the happlicashon for
Dolls and sitch to be sent to Workuses for Porper Childern. Fansy
a Porper Child missing a Wacks Doll, wot spekes and can say Mar!
Why the next thing will be Rockin Osses for Porper Childern. Sir,
a Workus ort to be an ouse of work, but them there Umanitarians
wants to make it an ouse of play. I 've heerd in pint of relidgion

cannot but feel it fortunate that we have Ministerial voices to speak [ Umanitarians is a Pack of erratics, and ain't we told to wisit the
reason for its rhodomontade — peace instead of war, moderation i Sinns of the Parients on the Childern ? Werry well, then

in place of madness, and prudent policy for pot-valiance and pseudo-
patriotism. Ravings and roarings, black visions, and deranged
bilious and nervous systems, are symptoms of the disease best if
most briefly known as D. T.—natural consequences of over-circula-
tion, and over-indulgence in stimulants. But the wild utterances

And now wot's been tbe Consequens of petitionen peple to send
Workus Childern playthings ? A lot on 'em as been sent here to
this werry Porochial asilum all of which I should like to ave throwd
beind the fire, partickler one, witch was—wot do you think ? Wy
a figger off a Twelfcake dressed in full togg in "the Caricter of a

thence arising* do not pass, and, thank England's stars, are never j Porochial hofficer, the werry imidge of, and no Dout ment for my

likely to pass, for the voice of the British public, still less the roar
of the British Lion.

Only asses could mistake asinine note for leonine. Now, though
the Prophet of Chelsea has roughly set down our thirty millions of
British population as " mostly fools," there are degrees in folly.
The fools who are foolish enough to mistake Ass's bray for Lion's
roar are a decided minority, though numerous enough to be a nui-
sance, and even troublesome at certain times and in certain places.

But what sort of a following these blatant ass-echoers can command,
even among the class that musters at Metropolitan mob-meetings,
was shown last week in the miserable failure of Mr. Maltman Barry
and his fellows to get up a Turcophile demonstration in Trafalgar
Square. The Daily Telegraph had to record the contemptible collapse
of its own precious " convertites." And though Musuetts Pasha was
ill-advised enough to stoop to the humiliation of an interview
with the leaders of the " fizzle," Mr. Disraeli, warned by Mr.
Mootagtje Corry's report of the meeting, was too knowing to grant
the appointment for a deputation solicited, by Mr. Maltman Barry.

No, while England has a Queen and a Constitution, a Parliament
and a Government, a History and a British Lion, she will speak by
these, rather than by the voice of D. T. If the part to be assumed
were the Lion of Judah—passe.' But the British Lion—oh dear no!

self, witch not meenin no poetery I have the Honner to remain yure

Obegient Umble
Stintham Union Wurkus. Servent, Bumble.

P.S.—Is that the way to teach 'em to onner there pasters and
masters, and beave their selves lowly and Reverend to hall there
Betters r

The Hound and the Rifle.

A bather unusual combination of hunting and shooting may be
noted in the following brief report of the wild sport of

" Deerstalking at the Royal Hunt.—During a recent run with Her
Majesty's Staghounds in the Harrow country, some unsportsmanlike person
fired from behind a tree at the stag, and shot it in the head. The animal, of
course, had to be killed, and the occurrence created considerable indignation
among the followers of the Eoyal Hunt."

Very likely. Their sport was spoiled by the shot of the unsports-
manlike person. But, as sportsmen, may not the stalker and the
hunters of a half-domesticated hack deer be considered to stand
pretty much upon a level ?

vol. lxxiv.

b