Punch (74.1878)

February 23, 1878.] PUNCH, OK TEE LONDON CHARIVARI. 73

JUMPING TO A CONCLUSION.

Farmer. "There's no Road this "Way, my Man."

Navvy {not quite, recovered from his last night's conversazione). " Begum, then,
i ain't got no Time to make 'un for yer ? "

MR. PUNCH'S OWN PROPHECY.

As prophecies are now the fashion, Mr. Punch thinks it right to issne a
prediction of his own. It is scarcely necessary to add that it is infinitely more
credible than any prophecy now travelling the provincial papers : —

Lord Beaconsfield.—Tn 1890 refuses the Golden Fleece, and asks permission
to decline the rank of Field-Marshal. In 1895 writes a novel called Playing
with Politics, full of autobiographical reminiscences. In 1896 crowned Emperor
of Jerusalem.

Lord Hartington.—In 1879 resigns the Leadership of the Liberal party in
favour of Mr, Cowen, of Newcastle. In 1882 (after the resignation of the
Harcourt Administration) accepts the Leadership of the Liberal party in the
Honse of Lords, having been called to the Peers in his father's lifetime. In
1889 resigns the Leadership in favour of Viscount Dilke. In 1934 becomes
Prime Minister of England.

Mr. Gladstone.—In 1891 cuts down all the trees in Kensington Gardens.
In 1894 makes a speech of six hours' duration in opposition to Lord Beacons-
field's policy anent the Bayswater Improvement Bill. In 1896 becomes chief
contributor to Bailey's Magazine, and Sub-Editor of Bradshaw's Railway
Guide. In 1904 accepts the Stewardship of the Chiltern Hundreds. In 1905
seeks election at the hands of twenty-seven constituencies. In 1906 edits a
new edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica, contributing the political and
classical articles himself, brings out a new edition of the Iliad and Odyssey,
and is elected President of the Royal Society, in recognition of his discoveries
on the dark side of the moon. In 1908 fills all the chief offices of his own
Cabinet.

Cardinal Manning.—In 1878 secures the Papacy for Mr. "Whalley. In
1894 obtains a "hat"for Mr. John Henry Newman. In 1895 entertains
Mr. Newdegate at a Lenten fish-dinner at the Trafalgar. In 1906 reads Lothair.

Mr. Stanley.—In 1879 brings back the North Pole to Europe, for exhibition
in the publishing office of the Daily Telegraph. In 1880 is commissioned by
the Royal Geographical Society to restore what is left of Cleopatra's Needle to
Egypt. _ In 1881 discovers all the undiscovered islands of the Pacific and
Antarctic Oceans, traverses all that [is still unexplored in Asia, Africa, and
South America, and brings geographical discovery practically to a conclusion.
In 1926 finishes the two hundred and twenty-fourth volume of his adventures

as a Newspaper Correspondent. In 1927 starts on his
first expedition to the sun.

Mr. Layard.—In 1878 commences his explanation to
the House of Commons. In 1884 explanation to the
House of Commons still progressing. In 1904 breaks
off his explanation to the House of Commons, to enter
the diplomatic service of the Russo-Turkish Empire.

Prince Von Bismarck.—In 1880 annexes Belgium,
Holland, Norway, and Sweden. In 1890, after many
resignations, becomes once more Premier of Germany.
In 1899 accepts Ireland at the hands of Lord Beacons-
field. In 1900 admits the Green Isle is too many for him.

Mr. Punch.—In 2487-but this is telling too much !

THAT W. G.!

(Spirits labouring under a sense of the matchless and
manifold villany of that pernicious statesman, the Right-
Hon. W. E. G., will find much relief from occasional viva voce
recitation of the following.)

Who broke up the Liberal Party

Because he'd a fit of the blues ?
With a hatred of Hartington hearty,

Who hankers to lead in his shoes?
',/ho, from envy and vicious vexation,

At the honours and hits of Lord B.,
Has determined to ruin the nation ?—
That W. G.!

Who, burning with black animosities,
With deliberate aim went to work,

A-hatching Bulgarian Atrocities,
And sland'ring the innocent Turk ?

Who leagued with the base Northern Bruin
To mix bitters in Betsy Prig's tea,

And bring British Interests to ruin P—
That W. G.!

Who has laboured with pamphlets and speeches,
And letters and post-cards ad lib.,

To fill full of blood the Russ leeches,
And crack the Conservative crib ?

Who, under the mask of philanthropy,
Hides a heart black as heart well can be,

With the blood-thirst of ghoulish lycanthropy ?—
That W. G.!

Who in every word, and each action,
Be his dealings with Church or with^State,

Is inspired by the spirit of faction,
And moved by the motive of hate ?

Who, whether with " articles" busy,
Or felling an innocent tree,

Means mischief to England and Dizzy ?—
That W. G.!

Whose game, whatsoever he try on,

Is always a sinister sham?
A"poltroon, if he roars like a lion,

A Heep, if he bleats like a lamb ?
A fool, if he writes a long letter,

A boor, if he pens a P. C,
Or, if he does neither, no better ?—
That W. G. !

Who, aping the pose of a Bayard,
With Greek and Slav treasons brim-full,

As Polonius alluded to Layard,
That much-maligned Nineveh Bull ?

Who wellnigh drove the P. M. G. frantic,
And, attacking the modest D. T.f

Doubled that circulation gigantic ?

That W. G. ! I

Who, a Catiline, Cleon, and Clodiits,

With Cicero's gift of the gab,
Uses arts and arms equally odious,

Through Church and State England to stab ?
Card-sharper, tree-feller, stump-prater,

Russ agent, and Romish trustee,
W ho is thief, liar, Jesuit, traitor ?
That W. G.!

in a Name ?—We hear of a new Novel called
The Missing Will. If the heroine be of the Rhoda
Broughton advanced'female order, the title should have
been The Willing Miss.

vol. lxxiv.

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