Punch (74.1878)

February 9, 1878.]

49

WHAT WILL HE DO WITH IT?

heat excitement in
military circles.

Mr. Punch has
reasons to believe
that in anticipa-
tion of the grant
of £6,000,000 for
putting the Em-
pire in a thorough
state of defence—

A contract has
been accepted for
giving a new coat
of paint to the
two Sentry-boxes
mounted over the
War Office kit-
chen area.

An additional
yard of gold lace
will immediately
be added to the
uniforms of the
Beefeaters.

The Music-
Stands, used by
the Bands of the

Guards in the Court-yard of,.St. James's Palace, will be thoroughly
repaired.

The Mortars.used for firing off salutes in St. James's Park will be
rifled, and a store of blank ammunition will be formed at the Horse

Guards. . 0nly t0° probable.

Three new chargers will be added to all the Line Cavalry regi- We are assured that the Cabinet is " at one within itself." Not
ments. a doubt of it—the " one " is Lord Beaconseield.

Colonels of Militia will be furnished with revolvers.
The kit of a recruit in future will include a clay pipe and a
tobacco-pouch. These additions are intended to stimulate recruit-
ing in the mining districts.

A new uniform Button will be introduced in the Highland
regiments.

The Royal Welsh Fusiliers will be presented with another Goat.
The 1st Royal Scots will be furnished with a set of Bagpipes, on
the condition that the Piper never plays on them within three miles
of the two-mile radius.

The spike on the new Regulation Helmets will be lengthened one-
eighth of an inch.

The Household Cavalry will receive steel gauntlets, to be worn
with their cuirasses, so useful in a modern charge.

Flower-beds will be laid out round some of the non-commissioned
officers' huts at Aldershot.

A small retaining fee will be paid to the Penny Steamboat Com-
pany, so that the fleet of that association may be available in case of
need for transporting troops from Gravesend to Gallipoli.

Captains of the Royal Navy will be furnished (free of charge)
with plumes to be worn in their cocked hats on the Queen's Birth-
day.

A new Flag will be supplied to Greenwich Hospital.
The Coastguard Stations on the East of England will be white-
washed.

A new steam-launch, for the use of the Lords of the Admiralty,
will be moored at Maidenhead.

The Militia will be supplied with gloves, and the Volunteers with
comforters.

The remainder of the Vote, not expended as above, or in any other
way that may be deemed best by the Government, will be returned
into the Exchequer by the 1st of April.

A TALK BY THIRLMERE.

" The Corporation of Manchester has decided to apply to Parliament, in the
Session of 1878, for power to convert one of the most beautiful of the English
Lakes into a Reservoir." — Opening Paragraph of the Statement of the Thirl-
mere Defence Association.

Scene—Thirlmere by night, in the neighbourhood of the " Rock of
Names," inscribed with the Initials of Samuel Taylor Cole-
ridge, Robebt Southet, and William Wordsworth.*

Present—The Lady of the Lake, Three Shades, and Punch.

Lady of the Lake {addressing Punch). To you we make appeal!
Your potent voice

Prevails among the living.
Punch. I rejoice

To lift it in so sweet a lady's cause.
First Shade. No note more wins Elysium's applause,

Not lavishly bestowed in these cold days,

When Plutus from Apollo bears the bays.
Punch. Not always, mighty Shade. But this indeed

Appears a case in which the God of Greed

Would rob the Sun-God.
Second Shade. May Kehama's Curse

Light on their sordid souls !
Third Shade. Though much averse

To commination, be the Engineers

Accursed that profane our holy Meres!
First Shade. More ruthless than my Mariner, who slew

The blameless bird, must be the callous crew

Who'd unthrone Beauty in her holiest shrine,

And break her charm ethereal as benign.
Lady of the Lake. And not content to drink, the fount they'd spoil.

The dusty throats of the swart sons of toil

Were welcome to the largesse of my lake.
Third Shade. But there's a finer thirst which men may slake

In these clear waters ; if you dry the founts

Which quench it, plump Municipal accounts,

And all the craft of a mechanic day,

Are impotent its cravings to allay.
First Shade. Beauty may not be weighed with beam and scale ;

Nor can you mete its worth, nor tell by tale ;

Nor with the measuring road its compass gauge.

The sunbeam of a long forgotten age,

* This rock will be submerged, if the Manchester Embanking Scheme be
carried out.

More fleeting than the leaves on which it played,

Lives when the Mammoth is to dust decayed.

From its black-diamond dungeon loosed at last,

It keeps Trade's myriad furnaces in blast.
Second Shade. That e'en an Engineer should understand I
Third Shade. Beauty, God's blessed dower to our dear land,

Is each man's charge ; patriot or poet, seer

Or sou of trade, artist or engineer,

All should maintain it as a treasured meed,

Not to be drawn on save at utmost need.
Punch. Which here is not made out, or I'd hold back

The fervour of my batons sounding thwack.

We love our Lakes. They form a glorious wealth

Which Corporations, Local Boards of Health,

('annot confer, and shall not snatch away.

We treasure, too, great Triad—Punch may say

Even in presence of your honoured shades —

The ways which once you trod. These glens and glades

Are sacred, in a sense which none need fear

Freely to own to e'en an Engineer.

This stone (pointing to the " Rock of Names ") which they'd

submerge we value more
Than all the boulders which upon the shore
Improved by an embankment they would drop,
" Artistically scattered," as a sop
To outraged taste. Artistically ? Trash !
We trust no earthwork of creative Cash
Nature to mend, no Engineer would thank
For banking Thirlmere to a monster tank.
A hideous foreshore, graced with Cockney grots,
Straight roads, squared slopes! These are not boons but

blots.

Nay, canny Cottonopolis, your plan,
Though by your Bishop blest, Punch grieves to ban.
Your water-wants you must supply elsewhere,
And for your greed of cash, that's not our care.
Nor will we spoil our lakes to sluice your City,
Or please a Vandal Water-works Committee.
Lady of the Lake. Thanks! We may safely leave our case to
you.

First Shade. Adieu, right-hearted Sage!

Second Shade. Adieu!

Third Shade. Adieu!

[They vanish, leaving Punch alone, and resolute to p7ead the
cause of 'Thirlmere v. Manchester.

vol. lxxtv.