DOI Heft:
February 16, 1878
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17732#0075
72
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 16, 1878.
NOT QUITE THE CHEESE!
British Farmer. " What sort o' Cheese do yotj call this 1 Full o'
Holes 1 " Waiter. " Grew-yere, Sir."
British Farmer (suspiciously). " Then just bring one that grew some-
where else ! "
A LYING SPIRIT.
" There is a lying Spirit abroad."—Mr. Cross.
" A Spirit of lies ? "—Punch must take up his Cross—
A fiend of that kind has been recently playing
With great rejjutations at pitch and at toss,
And what has that Spirit been saying ?
That Hughenden's Lord has been setting war-snares—
Let us hope that such charges are mere taradiddles;
But you know, Sir, the Sphinx a high character bears
For puzzling the world with his riddles.
And pray does the Spirit of which you complain
Never utter through lips of immaculate Tories
False charges refuted again and again,
And purely preposterous stories ?
Your imp has made free in the tart P. M. G.,
Where each day sees him cutting the queerest of capers ;
On the rampage has been in the rowdy D. T.,
And their apes in less world-famous papers.
He's an imp of tough hide, through which facts make no
way,
Of a conscience exposure and show-up but harden:
And if Hughenden way he oft makes free to stray,
May he not haunt backstairs at Hawarden P
Motive-mongers malicious as void of all nous
May welcome the rascally sprite as a brother;
You denounce his vile presence on one side the House,
But how does he look on the other ?
I'd not hint upon which side the table he sits,
But it strikes me the imp can be vastly effective
In lending a point to Sir Robert's coarse hits,
And sharpening Chaplin's invective.
That the Father of Lies is the Father of Whigs
Dr. Johnson maintained. It may sometimes befall so;
But Tories, applauding such champion's digs,
May aspire to that parentage also.
warned out op his own mouth.
{When tempted from Guildhall.)
" One of the greatest charms of life is not to write letters."-
The Premier in the House of Lords.
THE OLD MASTERS AT THE ACADEMY.
By a Young Master. Last look round but one.
No. 163. Portrait of A Jesuit. By William Van der Vliet.
Admirable picture ! It ought to be presented by a grateful Consti-
tuency to the Member for Peterborough.
No. 167. Portrait of a Jewish Rabbi. Said to be by Rem-
brandt. The idea conveyed by the attitude is, " My hands feel a
trifle feverish. What could I have taken last night ? Still, there's
not very much the matter with me." Now pass on to
No. 169. Another Portrait of the same Jewish Rabbi. By Rem-
brandt van Rhyn. Same attitude, but the colour of face suggests
"Not quite so well to-day in 169 as I was in 167. Still, I'm better
as a picture."
No. 171. Portrait of Rembrandt. By Himself. Quite by him-
self^ and very melancholy company he seems to find it. Evidently
considering a subject. " Have I spirit left for it, or not ? "
^ No. 172 is called "Rembrandt's Mill.'" But there is no sign of any
fight being about to come off. Perhaps the Mill is being kept dark.
Now walk into Gallery Number Four, and observe all the pictures
that are painted in tempera on a gold ground. How fresh, how clear
they are! They might have been the production of the year before
last. " Tempera" non " Mutantur."
No. 210. Portrait of A Lady. By Domenico Ghirlandaio.
On the right side of the picture is the following inscription in Latin
—" Oh that art could depict her graceful manners and her mind,
then there would be no lovelier picture upon earth. 1488." How
nice to have that inscribed on one's own portrait perpetually hanging
up in the dining-room!
No. 211. Francis the First, of France. His portrait by an
Unknown. How disgusted the First Frank of France must have
been, when this wickedly ugly, but evidently exact and unflattering
portrait, was sent home framed and glazed. No wonder the Artist
remained Unknown. /'Who is he?" Franky the First must
have shouted. "Where is he? Let me get at him! Take the
beastly thing out of my sight! I can't be such a brute as that
makes me, can I?" "Oh no, Sire, certainly not," replied forty
obsequious Courtiers, bowing to the ground, in order to conceal
their smiles, and hide their forty winks. If that Painter had been
found, he would have been hung on a line in his own studio. But
he preferred to remain incog. Francis the First has anything
but a frank expression.
In Gallery Number Five we find Mrs. Siddons, by Sir Joshua
Reynolds. 0 Great Joshua, you didn't order the sun to stand still,
but you got a " star " to sit to you for a portrait. Fine face; but
scarcely suggestive of that grand tragic power with which we are
accustomed to associate Mrs. Siddons in a grand part; say, for
instance, as Lady Macbeth.
No. 235. Portrait of Richard Humphreys. By J. Hoppner, R. A.
A Pugilist in the palmy, or fisty, days of the Prize Ring. This is a
figure that, in reduced circumstances, might have fitted into " Rem-
brandt's Mill" before noticed. Humphreys was an intelligent-
looking man ; but what an attitude!
No. 241. Portraits of Mrs. William Goddard {posthumous), and
her Children. By Thomas Gainsborough, R.A. And T. Gains-
borough ought to have been ashamed of himself for having painted
such an idiotic picture. Walk up! Walk up! and see Posthumous
Mrs. W. G., lounging over a cloud, about four feet from the ground,
extending her left hand, probably intended to be foreshortened, but
really deformed, and throwing some flowers (where did she get them
from ?) to two little Charity-Sunday-school-looking children below,
one of whom is paying some little attention to the unusual appari-
tion, while the other is utterly indifferent. No one should miss
seeing this. Were Mr. Millais, or any one of our artists, to give us
such a picture, he would have to leave the country the very day
after the private view. The only one of our Academicians who
might, perhaps, take up this peculiar line with anything like safety,
would be Mr. Frith. He would call it " Levitation in 1878," and
treat it with due levity.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 16, 1878.
NOT QUITE THE CHEESE!
British Farmer. " What sort o' Cheese do yotj call this 1 Full o'
Holes 1 " Waiter. " Grew-yere, Sir."
British Farmer (suspiciously). " Then just bring one that grew some-
where else ! "
A LYING SPIRIT.
" There is a lying Spirit abroad."—Mr. Cross.
" A Spirit of lies ? "—Punch must take up his Cross—
A fiend of that kind has been recently playing
With great rejjutations at pitch and at toss,
And what has that Spirit been saying ?
That Hughenden's Lord has been setting war-snares—
Let us hope that such charges are mere taradiddles;
But you know, Sir, the Sphinx a high character bears
For puzzling the world with his riddles.
And pray does the Spirit of which you complain
Never utter through lips of immaculate Tories
False charges refuted again and again,
And purely preposterous stories ?
Your imp has made free in the tart P. M. G.,
Where each day sees him cutting the queerest of capers ;
On the rampage has been in the rowdy D. T.,
And their apes in less world-famous papers.
He's an imp of tough hide, through which facts make no
way,
Of a conscience exposure and show-up but harden:
And if Hughenden way he oft makes free to stray,
May he not haunt backstairs at Hawarden P
Motive-mongers malicious as void of all nous
May welcome the rascally sprite as a brother;
You denounce his vile presence on one side the House,
But how does he look on the other ?
I'd not hint upon which side the table he sits,
But it strikes me the imp can be vastly effective
In lending a point to Sir Robert's coarse hits,
And sharpening Chaplin's invective.
That the Father of Lies is the Father of Whigs
Dr. Johnson maintained. It may sometimes befall so;
But Tories, applauding such champion's digs,
May aspire to that parentage also.
warned out op his own mouth.
{When tempted from Guildhall.)
" One of the greatest charms of life is not to write letters."-
The Premier in the House of Lords.
THE OLD MASTERS AT THE ACADEMY.
By a Young Master. Last look round but one.
No. 163. Portrait of A Jesuit. By William Van der Vliet.
Admirable picture ! It ought to be presented by a grateful Consti-
tuency to the Member for Peterborough.
No. 167. Portrait of a Jewish Rabbi. Said to be by Rem-
brandt. The idea conveyed by the attitude is, " My hands feel a
trifle feverish. What could I have taken last night ? Still, there's
not very much the matter with me." Now pass on to
No. 169. Another Portrait of the same Jewish Rabbi. By Rem-
brandt van Rhyn. Same attitude, but the colour of face suggests
"Not quite so well to-day in 169 as I was in 167. Still, I'm better
as a picture."
No. 171. Portrait of Rembrandt. By Himself. Quite by him-
self^ and very melancholy company he seems to find it. Evidently
considering a subject. " Have I spirit left for it, or not ? "
^ No. 172 is called "Rembrandt's Mill.'" But there is no sign of any
fight being about to come off. Perhaps the Mill is being kept dark.
Now walk into Gallery Number Four, and observe all the pictures
that are painted in tempera on a gold ground. How fresh, how clear
they are! They might have been the production of the year before
last. " Tempera" non " Mutantur."
No. 210. Portrait of A Lady. By Domenico Ghirlandaio.
On the right side of the picture is the following inscription in Latin
—" Oh that art could depict her graceful manners and her mind,
then there would be no lovelier picture upon earth. 1488." How
nice to have that inscribed on one's own portrait perpetually hanging
up in the dining-room!
No. 211. Francis the First, of France. His portrait by an
Unknown. How disgusted the First Frank of France must have
been, when this wickedly ugly, but evidently exact and unflattering
portrait, was sent home framed and glazed. No wonder the Artist
remained Unknown. /'Who is he?" Franky the First must
have shouted. "Where is he? Let me get at him! Take the
beastly thing out of my sight! I can't be such a brute as that
makes me, can I?" "Oh no, Sire, certainly not," replied forty
obsequious Courtiers, bowing to the ground, in order to conceal
their smiles, and hide their forty winks. If that Painter had been
found, he would have been hung on a line in his own studio. But
he preferred to remain incog. Francis the First has anything
but a frank expression.
In Gallery Number Five we find Mrs. Siddons, by Sir Joshua
Reynolds. 0 Great Joshua, you didn't order the sun to stand still,
but you got a " star " to sit to you for a portrait. Fine face; but
scarcely suggestive of that grand tragic power with which we are
accustomed to associate Mrs. Siddons in a grand part; say, for
instance, as Lady Macbeth.
No. 235. Portrait of Richard Humphreys. By J. Hoppner, R. A.
A Pugilist in the palmy, or fisty, days of the Prize Ring. This is a
figure that, in reduced circumstances, might have fitted into " Rem-
brandt's Mill" before noticed. Humphreys was an intelligent-
looking man ; but what an attitude!
No. 241. Portraits of Mrs. William Goddard {posthumous), and
her Children. By Thomas Gainsborough, R.A. And T. Gains-
borough ought to have been ashamed of himself for having painted
such an idiotic picture. Walk up! Walk up! and see Posthumous
Mrs. W. G., lounging over a cloud, about four feet from the ground,
extending her left hand, probably intended to be foreshortened, but
really deformed, and throwing some flowers (where did she get them
from ?) to two little Charity-Sunday-school-looking children below,
one of whom is paying some little attention to the unusual appari-
tion, while the other is utterly indifferent. No one should miss
seeing this. Were Mr. Millais, or any one of our artists, to give us
such a picture, he would have to leave the country the very day
after the private view. The only one of our Academicians who
might, perhaps, take up this peculiar line with anything like safety,
would be Mr. Frith. He would call it " Levitation in 1878," and
treat it with due levity.