Punch (74.1878)

190 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 27, 1878.

"AUT C/ESAR AUT NULLUS."

Architect. "What Aspect would you like, Mr. Smithebs?" (Who is about to build a house.)

Mr. Smithers. "Has Muggles"— (a rival Tradesman)—"got a Haspeot ? 'Cause—mind ybb, I should like mine made A

good de4.l bigger than 'iS II"

this end to their brisht lives, would they not have altered their own
destinies ? If the Future gives no hope, and the Past no promise,
then as years go on, and the recurring day of birth comes round with
a new number upon the roulette board of Life, shall we not make
ourselves a Present, when the hands of all our friends are held back
from us ? At least we can gratify our own inclination—for this
power alone has been left on earth to men.

Chapter XV.—"La Route la plus courte et au meilleur marche ! "

In the morning they crossed, intent upon their deadly work. They
were in the same boat, these two men. Lord Nuffinmore, having
diplomatic business in London, was also on board, accompanied by
the Lady Regula.

Scarce a word was spoken during the passage of that crime-
laden vessel. Nothing was heard save the shrill, cruel, agonised
scream of the pent-up steam, the dull, spirit-quelling thud of
the machinery, the fierce roaring of the savage vindictive waves,
as they dashed at the paddle-wheels, and drove the vessel, now one
way, now the other, and then, with the fury of untamed beasts, at
play in the dreary wilderness, they carried it on their giant shoul-
ders, hurling it, onwards, along a surging path, dashing it, as if to
very destruction, against a living wall of crested water. The sea-
are meant, then such a practice, as diving off the one into the other, was
never heard of in his time, or anybody else's. Our Etonian friend has
added that, as to the first, you probably mean the Brocas Clump, which you
have confused (he says-we don't) with "The Christopher," a well-known
Inn, which (he again adds—we don't, mind that) you have in one of your
other novels called "Christopher's;" that, as to thirdly, you must mean
" Surly," as well known as Windsor; that, as to fifthly, you probably have
told only half of the truth, as there is a part of the playing fields called " Six-
penny ; " that when you say " Sixes " you are evidently thinking of " Fives,"
for which game there is no wall in the playing fields ; and that, on the whole,
(so he finishes—we don't, you will distinctly understand that,) if you are not
more thoroughly " up " in your other subjects than you are in this, the public
will in future know how to appreciate at their true value those remarkably
graphic pictures of life and character which are the special features of your
undoubtedly powerful and decidedly clever romances.

birds whirled around with pitiless screech, and nought was heard
on the deck, save the groans of those who lay pale, prostrate, and
helpless, as after some great carnage on a field of battle; while, from
stem to stern, echoed the faint, touching, heart-rending appeal for
the kindly steward's aid, just as the lambs that have strayed on the
road,would bleat for their dam, or as the infant, abandoned by its
inhuman nurse, would cry aloud, with all the vigour of a cradled
Bacchus, beseeching for its absent bottle.

Once only, Lady Regula Baddun, with that love of human con-
quest which was inborn in her, a part of her very nature, attempted
to speak to—and with her to speak to was to fascinate—the man at
the wheel. But he would not turn aside to meet the glance of the
enchantress, the fire of whose eyes was only momentarily dimmed,
not quenched; but, resolutely keeping his look-out on the grey
shapeless offings in the distance, he murmured to himself, " Here
stands a post." Then she staggered back, now clutching at the
Captain, now at the Steward, now tripping over the legs of one pros-
trate passenger, now treading on the toes of another, until, hopeless
and helpless, she was conducted to Lord Nuffinmore's private cabin
by the second, mate—for in that supreme hour she would have clung
even to the black and oily stoker for support.

And the two men, once brothers, now deadly foes, sat on opposite
sides of the deck. Strapmore, with a feeling akin to undying
hatred in the region of his heart, and an increasing longing for this

Authoress (to Editor).—Sir—If your well-informed "friend" likes to
continue this romance himself, let him do so. It would be beneath me to
point out to you or your friend, or both, that a Komance is not mere prosaic
matter-of-fact record. If so, there can be no more trustworthy historians
than Sir Walter Scott, Messrs. Gr. P. K. James, and Harrison Ains-
worth. Vive la bagatelle ! On prend le peuple par les oreilles, comme on
fait un pot par les anses. Plutot mourir que de changer un simple mot. My
own imagination leaves still something to the imagination of others. Le secret
d'tnnuyer est eelui de tout dire : et lesfeimnes sont toujours extremes.—W.

Editor (to the Public).—We feel bound to place our Weeder's correspond-
ence before our readers. Whether the reply of the distinguished Authoress
(or the distinguished Authoress's reply) is entirely conclusive, it is not for us
to say. Of course Strapmore is a romance.—Ed.