Punch (74.1878)

May 4, 1878 ]

195

mm

Hiitit

Flfi

MISAPPREHENSION.

Jane (indignant). "Come along, 'Liza. Don't stand looking at that-

WhICB I call IT SHAMEFUL O' TBEM PREFANE DaRWINITES ! I DON'T believe IT'S A bit

likb HeeI" [Dedicated to Hanging Committees.

WORKING THE POINTS.

Signals uncertain, trains at utmost speed,
Lines sharply crossing, drivers not too wary !
It needs a Pointsman of an iron breed,
Whose sight is clear, whose pulses willnot vary,
As little hesitant as hotly rash,

With nerves as firm as fine,
To obviate what seems impending smash

On the Great Eastern line!
The man who has his hand upon the lever,

Is cool and olever;
In his soul-armour fate finds few weak joints,
He's not the sport of perils or surprises,

Yet still the question rises,

Smart as he may be, Can he work these points ?
What if they stick, through stress of wear and
strain ?

What if the promptest pull prove all in vain f
What if the Pointsman, knowing all the line,

Rather to instant risk incline
Than distant danger, clear to his prevision ?
Can he, or will he, now prevent collision ?
So ask alarmed onlookers. And meanwhile
The Pointsman's face wears an obscure ex-
pression,

Someread it doubt, some coolest eelf-po3ses-
sion.

But be it puzzlement or potent guile,
That under mask of frankness works the
while,

All hang upon his acts, and atk

If he is equal to the task.

The trains still thunder nearer, their

lights flash
Full on each other ; in one moment more
They '11 meet in mutual wreck, their

whirling roar

End in a ghastly crash !
Gazers stand breathless, wondering "Can

this man

A Manage the points Or will he, if he
can ? "

RATHER TOO BAD.

China declines to take back her own clay
in the shape of size.

" Gbay Shirtings.—The chief feature to
notice in the history of these goods is the utttr
collapse in the consumption of low, heavily-
sized makes. Very low goods have become un-
saleable even at a considerable reduction on the
lowest quotation. The change took place about
the middle of the year, -when there began to
arrive free supplies of goods more doctored and
rilled than ever. These the Chinese refused to
recognise as legitimate."— Commercial Rtport for
1876 of Her Majesty's Consul at Shanghai.

KEBLE (COLLEGE AND POET).

Link of College and of Poet
That share the name of Keble,—

Say the cynics—and you know it—
Runs a strain which strength calls
feeble.

Something apt to breed impatience
In strong spirits—they maintain—

Both with College aspirations,
And with Poet's sacred strain.

Something flaccid, forced, fantastic,
Something womanish and weak,

In the would-be ways monastic,
In the thoughts these verses speak.

The " plain livirjg " scarce so plain is,
The " high thinking " scarce so high,

As the Council's ardent strain is,
As the standards'raised imply.

Chapel several shades too showy,

Hall very much too fine ;
Piety too o'er-blowy,

Too much gush, and show, and shine.

" In the spirit men you 're training
Of the English Church," I see.

Pray oblige me by explaining
Where ihat spirit found may be.

Is't the spirit that is striving,

To lead back stray sheep to Rome ?

Is't the spirit still contriving
Peace abroad by war at home ?

Is't the spirit whose best wish is,

Science sinfulness to show ?
Spirit set on loaves and fishes ?

Spirit Broad, or High, or Low ?

In our Church—is't praise or pity P—
For each head we find a cap ;

To its cordials it will fit ye
Spirits drawn from every tap.

Then what wonder Keble's issue

Is something undefined,
Neither tough old Oxford tissue,

Nor daring modern mind :

Half withdrawn in ways ascetic, _
Half with mcdern notions stirring ;

Half athlete, half aesthetic—

" Neither fish, flesh, nor red-herring."