Punch (74.1878)

306 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Uoly 0, i*t*.

NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTES.

Mamma. "Not Kiss Professor Jackson. Lucy? Why not?"

Lucy. "Hs's g jt such a sit/ably BEARD, MAMMA, aud it PRICKS so ! NjW I DON'T mind CaPTAIN TaOMPiON's MOUSTACHE !

D > YOU? "

THE NEW LEG;

or, the turx, the tartar, and the timber toe.

Am—" The Cork Leg:'

I'll tell you a tale without any flam,
Or a.terrible Turk, a horrid old sham,
Who many a year had said, " I am
The greatest glory of great Islam."

With a tooral looral, &c.

He'd a fine estate this terrible Turk,
But he loved his ease and he hated work.
And his only care was all care to shirk,
To bully his slaves, and his creditors burke.
With a tooral looral, &c.

Protest who might, he'd not yield a peg ;
He sucked his thralls as you 'd suck an egg,
And if for pity they came to beg,
He kicked them out with his terrible.leg.

With a tooral looral, &c.

But at last of fighting he had his fill,
And in a terrible Tartar mill
He got his best leg crushed, until
This terrible Turk lay spent and still.

With a tooral looral, &c.

His foes rejoiced, and his slaves made game
Of the terrible Turk, sudden fallen lame,
For they thought the mishap might his temper tame,
Or, at least, that he couldn't kick quite the same.
With a tooral looral, &c.

But a Jew by blood, if not by persuasion,
An Artist in words and education,
Came in, and checked their jubilation
By scheming the Turk's leg-restoration.

With a tooral looral, &c.

Says he, " Don't get in a rage, I beg,
Only trust to my patent Balkan leg ;
And, strong on that artificial peg,
You shall stand like an Eastern Silas Wegg."
With a tooral looral, &c.

The Turk didn't see his way out of it quite,
So Artist and doctors made it all right;
And the wooden leg shaped fair to sight,
And fitted it on, and screwed it tight.

With a tooral looral, &c.

Bath Tartar and Turk thought the leg a bore,
And the Turk's poor thralls did the dodge deplore ;
For they thought, "If the old rogue's limbs they restore,
He '11 soon be kicking as hard as before."
With a tooral looral, &c.

Quoth a rival Artist, one W. GL,
Who with restoration did not agree,
" Much better have left the job to me,
I'd have cut off the other leg, too, d'ye see ? "
With a tooral looral, &c.

But the artful Artist contented stood,
And regarded his work in triumphant mood.
" At odds I '11 back the new leg of wood
Against the old one of flesh and blood."

With a tooral looral, &c.

Says W. Gh, " 'Tis fine to talk.
No doubt you fancy you've scored a chalk.
The foes of the Turk 'tis your aim to baulk.
But wait till the old rogue tries to walk."
With a tooral looral, &c.

If the Turk with this new arrangement agree,
And manage to move, even W. G.
Wishing well to the Moslem as is to be,
His " Resurgam " may find in his L E Q I
With a tooral looral, &c.