Punch (77.1879)

September 6, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

107

COUNTRY SPORTS AND PASTIMES.

Pipe.

Going (with umbrellas, cloaks, shawls, ulsters, connaughts, and
waterproofs) to a Floral and Horticultural Show—flowers, fruits.

Escorting the children, in the afternoon, to see the cows milked.
Frequent stoppages en route to inspect and admire the pigs, puppies,
poultry, calves, and other denizens of the somewhat moist and miry
farmyard, and to take a look of blended fascination and terror at
that formidable monster the bull, fast bound in his secure and soli-

vegetables, table -.........--——----,--tary stall.

decorations, poul-
try, pigeons, rab-
bits, guinea - pigs,
cats, canaries, silk-
worms, bees, and
domestic pets — six
miles in a wag-
gonette drawn by
a horse which has
grown obese and
lazy through want
of work ; frequent
hills, long and steep,
up which the male
occupants of the
carriage, one of
whom has lost the
slimness of figure
which once adorned
his youth, are ex-
pected to toil on
foot ; weath er
showery, ending in
a thunderstorm
which lasts the
whole of the return
journey ; detention
at a blacksmith's,
caused by the horse
casting a shoe.

Walking on a hot
morning with the
children up a narrow
lane, rugged, rutty,
hilly, abounding in
large and loose
stones, soil calca-
reous, and sticky
from recent rain, to
see and enjoy the
extensive view of
town and country
from the summit, to
rest on the grass,
and gather speci-
mens of the wild
flora of the district.
View blurred and
obscured by sudden
shower, grass too
wet to sit down
upon, collection of
harebells, ox - eyed
daisies, ladies' fin-
gers, ragged robin,
pimpernel, speed-
well, and other bo-
tanical rarities; an
impossibility : chil-
dren disappointed
and fractiousj sup-
ply of buns inade-
quate to demand,
youthful tumbles in
efforts to gather the
wild clematis fes-
tooning the hedges,
downward journey
stickier than ever,
great relief on reach-
ing "Southfield
Farm " again.

"MAKE THE BEST OF IT."

" Never mind the Rain, my Dears. This is what voir can do with a Sou'-Wester
and Fisherman's Jersey. And not so bad, after all ! "

Going over the
farm, mostly under
an umbrella, getting
very damp and dirty,
and betraying to
our kind and
shrewd conductor a
deep-seated igno-
rance of crops, soils,
averages, animals,
implements, drain-
ing processes, and
field operations.

B etween the
showers, pacing up
and down in front
of the farmhouse,
attended by
" Maggie " and
"Tearem," walk-
ing round and
round the garden,
examining the rain-
gauge and barome-
ter, watching the
clouds, sauntering
into the farm-yard,
looking into the
cow-sheds and
stables, gleaning
valuable informa-
tion from the ob-
liging bailiff, stroll-
ing by the turbid
and swollen stream,
and wishing it was
in a fit state for
fishing ; ultimately
retreating into the
dining-room when
the rain again
comes drifting and
scudding over the
hills, and there, in
a pleasant recess,
sitting in the win-
dow-seat, and for-
getting the weather
in the pages of Guy
Mannering or
Kenilworth.

Lounging on the
hay in the rick-yard
—when it is fine.

Lying on the
straw in the barn
—when it is wet.

The chase — a
rat-hunt!

Feeding the
poultry.

Ordering dinner—
to be ready half-an-
hour earlier than
usual, as it may clear
up in the afternoon
in time to go and see
the flood.

Questioning all
the oldest and most
experienced autho-
rities in the parish

Being weighed in "- on the subject of

company with a party of friends and relations. Result many
pounds heavier than you expected, and more than is consistent
with ease, comfort, and graceful proportions. Jokes, banter, and
recommendations of " Anti-Fat." *

* The exact weight of our Contributor has been deposited in a sealed
envelope, bearing an appropriate and identifying motto, at the office for
future reference.—Ed.

the weather, and recording in a large note-book local proverbs and
superstitions about rain, wind, clouds, storms, rainbows, and sunsets.

"Writing letters, one especially to the old and faithful retainer in
charge of your house, to acquaint her that you may return home a
week sooner than you intended, in consequence of the weather.
Making up your meteorological diary. Making your Will.
Bed, 9'30 p.m.