Punch (77.1879)

180 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 18, 1879.

A PROMISING YOUNG /ESTHETIC.

Old Boy. " Ullo ! what's your Name ?"

New Boy. "Dante Michael Angelo Salvator Rosa Nuprins!"

Old Boy. "Is tha t all ? What's tour Father?"

New Boy. "Poet, Painter, Sculptor, Architect, and Musician."

Old Boy. "Crimini ! Is he great?"

New Boy. "The Greatest that ever lived."

Old Boy. "I never! And what are rov going to be?"

New Boy. "The same as mv Father, only greater."

Old Boy. "Oh my!" [Kicks Young Nibpkins, and exit.

HARD-UP HYMENOPTERA.

A plea, a plea for the Busy Bee,

That improved the shining hour,
When a break m the wet would allow her to get

Aught out of an opening flower.
But so little she got that she now hath not

Enough for her winter store,
And requires to be fed upon made " bee-bread,"

Or the Bee wiH be soon no more.

Pure saccharine stuff is not enough

To keep your Bees alive;
Pollen too they need whereon to feed,

Whilst wintering in their hive.
Mere syrup and sweet for their keep is unmeet,

Barley-sugar alone won't do,
An you tender their weal, add barley-meal,

Give them treacle, but oatmeal too.

In times like these 'tis the Working Bees

That relief deserve alone ;
We put in a plea for the Busy Bee,

But none for the Lazy Drone.
E'en the best will share but workhouse fare ;

'Tis for skilligolee—no more—
To Beekeepers who feel we make appeal,

And Heaven will bless their store.

REDUCED TO PRACTICE!

Oun professional contemporary, the Medical Press and
Circular, does not often present its readers with obser-
vations of a facetious nature; but is not the following
paragraph fairly open .to the suspicion of being intended
for a joke ?—

" The Depression in Trade and the Medical Pro-
fession.—The entry at the different Medical schools has been
very large this session. It is thought this is largely due to the
depression existing in commerce and agriculture. A number of
young men who, in ordinary circumstances, would have entered
a trade, or gone to farming, seeing little prospect in these
directions, have turned their attention to Medicine."

If this is a fact, how inexpensive those young men,
or their parents and guardians, must consider a medical
education, how easy the acquisition of anatomy, phre-
nology, chemistry, botany, and the rest of the medical
sciences, how slight the difficulty of passing an examina-
tion in them, how little arduous, lightly laborious, and
highly lucrative, the practice of the Medical Profession !
These youths might be told that, if in circumstances
insufficient to enable them to embark in commerce or
agriculture, they resort to Medicine with a view to money-
making, they may or may not go farther, but they will
certainly fare worse.

CETEWAYO'S PROPOSAL.

Suppose I cross de water from de Cape to Inglis lan,
Pra'ps de reason you upset me I sail rightly understan,
When I see de men an women, an de sort ob life dey lead—
Till for all my past transgressions my sabage heart sail bleed—

See how you lub eaeh odder—see how crimes are all unknown;
How your chiefs dey neber cubbit lan an cattle not dere own ;
See your charity and brudderhood, your plenty an your peace ;
See how well (unlike de Zulus) you can do widout perlice.

Read your papers where de stories of Society is told,

Till I feel like a hysena in de gentle baa-lamb fold.

See how here's all law and order, all sweetness and all light,

How you nebber steal an murder, neber lie, and cheat, and fight.

Den I '11 write across de water to de Zulus dere and den,
An I '11 tell dem how like angels is de noble Inglismen ;
An I '11 lib an larn among you, and own dere ain't no doubt
You's just de sort ob people has a right to kick me out.

before the first.

Adamite was favourite for the Cesarewitch. But at the winning-
post our good old friend Chippendale was pre-Adamite. May he be
Immortal, as well as Antediluvian !

The Landed Interest.—Landed in difficulties.

A CAUCUS QUESTION.

The sitting Liberal Member for Dewsbury, Mr. Serjeant Simon,
has served his constituents eleven years. A letter addressed to him
the other day by a Mr. S. N. Lumb, Secretary to " the Executive
of the Dewsbury Parliamentary Borough Joint Liberal Association
on the Birmingham plan," informs him that he had been nominated
by the body abovenamed as a candidate for the representation of the
borough aforesaid at the approaching election, and questions him as
follows :—

" On behalf of the association, may I ask you whether you will allow your
name to be proposed at a general committee meeting to be held on Tuesday,
the 30th inst., and, if so, whether you will abide by the decision of the
association ? "

" Submit," that is, says Serjeant Simon, in reply, " to a competi-
tive process with eight other candidates proposed at the meeting to
which you refer." Surely, the learned Serjeant might have added,
you must take me for a very simple Simon.

up to the mark.

Thermometers tested at the Kew Observatory are advertised as
being marked " K. 0." We venture to suggest that in future they
should be marked " 0. K." for Orl Korrect.

Church and Stage Guild.—Apparently founded on the idea that
Church can Gild Stage Guilt.

Ir3~ To CoEEBSPOifDBifTs.—Tlit Editor does not hold himself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions, In no case can these be returned unless accompanied by a

stamped and directed envelope. Copies should be kept.