Punch: Punch (91.1886)

53

PUNCH, OK, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 31, 1886.

CHOSES QU'ON AIMERAIT MIEUX NE PAS
AVOIR DITES.

"How! You 'aye a Daughter grown up, Madam? Impos-
sible! And she is very beautiful, Mees tour Daughter?"
"Oh no, Monsieur. Yery clever, but not beautiful."
"Ah, zen she certainly do not take after you ! "

PAPER-KNIFE POEMS.

{By Our Special Book-Marker.)
" MELITA."

In Miss Richtee's story—you '11 find there I ween,

A freshness of fancy, a newness of scene:

Of character and incident there is no lack,

And, thank goodness, 'tis well off the well-beaten track !

" LONDON AND ELSEWHERE."

In London and Elsewhere there's plenty to tell,
And 'tis told very well by Thomas Ptonell !

"MEMOIRS OF TEE DUCHESS DE TOURZEL."

Two volumes treat of times that none can easily forget—
The latter days of Louis and of Mabif. Antoinette :
An eye-witness's narrative, and you will find, no doubt,
Tis full of thrilling history and interest throughout!

"IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW."
The Idle Thoughts by Jerome, with his special private views,
Is a book all busy people should undoubtedly peruse.

"DELIGHTFUL THAMES."
A htjmoeous volume of sketch and of rhyme—

And one you can scarcely help scanning—
The Thames and its people in sweet summer-time,

Depicted and written by Manning !

True Repeesentatives of the Cht/bch and State Guild.—
Pastoral Players.

OLD AND NEW AT DEPTFORD.

One of the pleasantest passages in the modern "Evelyn's Diary"
must be that in which the lineal descendant of old John Evelyn,
Mr. W. L. Evelyn, M.P., reoords his gift of Sayes Court, Deptford,
as a garden and playground for the public. Parodying Browning's
beautiful poem, one may say:—

Generous Evelyn's gift! 'Tis said

Geeat Petee rambled here many an hour;
Here, where shall echo the workmen's tread

Amid the beds of geranium-flower,
And the lad and the lass, shall romp on the grass.

This is a change for the better, 1 think.
Emperors vanish and families pass,

But one name shall be honoured by Thames's brink.
Bravo, Mr. Evelyn ! After a while

The best of us slumber beneath the mould;
But while children frolic, and old folks smile,

The memory of your gift shall hold.
One's name as green as the leaf to keep,

There's nought like the gift of a generous hand ;
And the Deptford folk as the long years creep,

Will mark, and remember, and understand.

SOMETHING LIKE A GOVERNMENT.

As everyone is engaged at this moment in Ministry-making,
Mr. Punch suggests the following list without regard to Party or
Place. It may be urged that some of those specified as persons proper
to be made Ministers are not Members of Parliament—well, they
should be. And the reply, in Mr. Punch's opinion, is unanswerable.

First Lord of the Treasury—Mr. Punch (with a seat in both
Houses, and a finger in every pie).

Lord High Chancellor *—Mr. Beiefless, Junr. (with the title of
Baron Pump).

Lord President of the Council and Lord Privy Seal*—Mr. Robeet
(the Privy Seal is a green one in Bin No. 3).

Chancellor of the Exchequei—Lord Rothschild [Private Secre-
tary, Mr. Attenboeough).

Secretary of State for Home Department *—Mr. 'Aeey.

Secretary of State for the Foreign Department—Mr. Heebeet,
R.A., (with the aid of a French accent).

Secretary of_ State for the Colonial Department — Mr. Bosisto
(gratefully assisted by all the Australian visitors, in recognition of
his courtesy.)

Secretary of State for the War Department — Sir Charles
Waeeen. (Transferred from Scotland Yard and the Home for Lost
Dogs.)

Secretary of State for the Indian Department—Lord Randolph
Chuechill. (Can't improve upon this as a joke.)

First Lord of the Admiralty—-Mr. John Clayton (in Court
costume).

Lord Lieutenant of Ireland—Mr. Botjcicauxt (with a brogue and

Chief Secretary for Ireland—-Mr. W. H. Smith. (This old joke is
good enough to be repeated.)

{The above form the Cabinet.)

Attorney-General-Mr. T. H. Bolton (supported by Extraordi-
nary Tithes).

Solicitor- General—Mr. Geoege Lewis (retained for the defence
by all his colleagues).

*»* The names marked with an asterisk are appointments made at the
express wish of the Premier, and as a just exercise of his right of private
patronage. The Attorney-General and the Solicitor-General are suggested by
the Lord Chancellor, as a tribute of grateful respect to "the other branch of
the Profession." _

Tales of Hope.

(Not of a flattering character.)

Lieutenant-Colonel Hope and Mr. Armit
Try to awake the country and alarm it.
They think that what is needful for the nation-
Is a new kind of " Knave-all Demonstration."

(Ig)noblesee Oblige.

It is now proposed to abolish all titles of nobility in France. The
Republicans seem to be preparing the way by getting rid of all
titles to nobility—whether in impulse, utterance, or action. "The
Ignobles of France," however, appear to be a very numerous
class, and their claim to establishment as the new aristocratic order,
with suitable titles of ignobility, may soon come to be paramount.