Punch: Punch (91.1886)

12-3

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 11, 1886.

ONE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT!

Delinquent {to his Host). '' Oh, I'm most itnfoetunate ! Now, you 'he the Third Man I've hit to-day ! "

being tied on. From my description it may appear that A Run
of Luck is a one-part piece, and that that one part is. the Squire's.
This is not so. Squire Overtwentystone may not even he the best
part, hut it is most undoubtedly "the biggest part in the piece,"
and one in -which, as the stage-slang has it, "there is the most fat."

The situations at the Railway Station—how the villains are put on
the wrong track, and how the horse gets in the wrong box—are most
ingeniously contrived. The real race is the best ever witnessed up
to now, on the stage, and; that the Run of Luck ought to do
uncommonly well is the opinion of (what the Squire might like when
he goes into training) Cocoa Nibbs.

LINES ON THE HAND.

" His (the Artist's) whole character maybe denominated Spiritual. To him
pleasure is a passion, beauty a worship. If he makes a friendship, it is an
adoration. Never taking the trouble to hate, he never makes enemies. He is
most sensible to blame or suspicion, and greatly touched by friendship and
kindness."—"^! Manual of Cheirosophy," by Ed. Heron-Allen, H 292.

0 Heron- Allen ! you 're a prophet surely !
You've read the hand that you were wont to shake.

1 know my nature is artistic purely;

You've sketched it to the life, and no mistake.

{The Poet smiles, and reads on.

" Very often in an artistic nature I have found only the defects of the type,
sensuality, laziness, egotism, eccentricity, cynicism, dissipation, incapacity for
concentration, cunning, exaggeration, and falsehood."—Ibid. IT 293.

Look here ! This aspect of your lore suffices.

Fine Science this to toil at and get bald for !
How do you dare to talk about my vices P

I think it scandalous and most uncalled-for! [ Cries.

The Mysteries of London ought now to be brought to light, since
we see by the Marlborough Street Police Report, last week, that there
is a " Chief Inspector Le Coca " at work. The name is not exactly
that of Ga.boe.iaus detective hero "Zecoq," but it is near enough,
and he belongs—good omen—to the " C Division."

PITY A POOR PENNY-A-LINER!

The world is becoming so wondrously wise,
E'en the Penny-a-Liner will have to revise

His favourite flowers of diction.
The " war of the elements" different looks
Since we are informed by omniscient Ceookes
Each " element" known to old chemistry books

Is probably merely a fiction.
The "watery " one and the one that " devours "
Are equally out of it. Science now scours

Primordial realms for a new one.^
Our Ckookes gives the thing a provisional name,
Protyle, which seems vague, but 'tis clear, all the same,
That nothing so complex as water or flame

Can now be considered the true one.
Perhaps it is helium, also perhaps
It isn't, for even these chemical chaps

Cannot be completely cocksure of 'em,
These bothering elements. So, on the whole,
One is glad Evolution seems nearing its goal,
And that—it will solace the P.A.L.'s soul—

We 're unlikely to have any more of 'em.

Boxgakious Russians.—M. Kaeaveloee doesn't seem to have come
out of it nicely. He wasn't altogether ignorant of the plot against
Alexander the Less. Luckily he did not arrange the kidnapping,
or his name would have suggested a more successful plan. It was
carry-badly-off not Kara-vel-off. It is a pity that the traitors
should be granted another Russian name, and that the whole band
should be in future known as " Letoff."

Veey Hot Woek.—On Wednesday, the 1st instant, S. Partridge,
final heat of the International Sculling Match rowed in the Thames.
Temperature above 100° in the sun. Final Heat" indeed ! and the
thermometer was still rising.