Punch: Punch (91.1886)

October 16, 1886.]

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

189

■" v> —------

PHEASANT PLEASANTRY.

Our Sportive Artist, D. Crambo, Jot*., says that the unfa-
vourable Retorts from the Breeding Districts have been
greatly exaggerated. notwithstanding the late prevalence
of " Gapes," there is a fair supply of " Long Tales."

COUNTRY COUSINS-PERSONALLY CONDUCTED.

MY ThI^e toTeturnyou my grateful thanks for.aUowing me

{. j 4? LifXtftil duty of escorting your Cousins from the
to have had the; dehghtol duty ^ ^ tunity

Country round the sights oi xow^. Thug j haye once more

of "newmg several most P™? to the public free of charge and
seen Westminster Abbey ^now ^ ^

yagers on Mondays and^uesa ^ ^ ^ , & yery

"done" Lew Gardens, 1 Gravesend new line there, with

mirable First Return, L. C. & D. R.), and the

«h6^ S^ton Museum. Your relatives seemed greatly pleased
South Kensington mu^ ^ ± w ^ w

witn au uu repeated them, had not your welcome packet of

tickets arrived in time to furnish an object for the exploration of
fresh places of amusement.

Oar first visit after this thoughtful gift was to the Albert Palace,
n. verv fine institution, adjoining Battersea Park. I believe it was
originated by Alderman Sir Robert Carden, who has left, in the
illuminated grounds and al fresco entertainments, evidences of that
eaietv of temperament which has justly earned for him the festive
title of " the most jovial Citizen m London." lhe worthy and mirth-
promoting Magistrate has been succeeded in the Management by Mr
vVTTTTSAr Hott a gentleman who, I am told, is known amongst
^ Sates af"! hf People's Caterer " Certainly, when we

f Ti Thp Publishment there was no lack of recreations. We
entered estabUsnmen^ ^

assisted ^ a most ex^"need herself on a slack wire, and perl
f^i ^ri^ flfehmetel balls. This obliging individual was
XwedL byaS^* rode without a saddle, light ladies and
louowed by a jocKej « driue 0n horseback in the most courteous
gentlemen who danced a qua entertaining perform-

manner imaginable, and msny H h*d iled » ^ a

ances. Besides the Circus, ^ Ba pronounced by members
la/?wnUMedfcal Pro ession the Wonder of the World "-see Pro-
of the fedical lrotesswn audience as remarkable for its
gramme), to «^it tiwmBew^ algo gome extremel . m
Mmbers as its enthusiasm ^ slight cough), a Diorama, a
Fleas (one, 1 fear was ffifg* the Beautiful Sylph of the Air."
Thislasf a mosfpleSng female, was said, by the Programme, to be
patronted\^OTnel Tho^eyceopi, the Earl of Rosebery,

nffiefeaC^Sd the Exhibition of the Photo-
graphic Society of Great Britain, and absolutely revelled m its rol-
Hck n" contents. I can scarcely imagine any grander display of
Art althoueh I was told by one of your Cousins that it was scarcely
£^SSir^ousWjfy ot a ye,ar. or two ago, when a large
autotype of three boys artistically grouped m an arm-chair had been

&iae^tlS^^ ^. Maecus StoL, Mr. George
CWshane, Jan., and M. Tissot, would some day be encouraged to
finally discard their palettes m favour of their cameras. Leaving
Pnll Mall East we went to the Royal Westminster Aquarium, where
ll: found^ProfesTor Leon taming horses somewhat after the fashion |
of Mr. Raeey. The experiments were highly diverting, and would
j u„„„ t,„i/i onpll-bound for hours, it not for days, had we
n^fflto^Se ^anXiK Lady.disappear at the" Egyptian
Ml under the immediate personal superintendence of Mr Bertram
The selt-abne-atino- gentlewoman who was induced to thoroughly
XtSS convenience of visitors, was a Madam Patrice,
who hy lm: name it will be seen conclusively established her foreign
nationality.

We had now exhausted your tickets with the exception of two—
the first entitling us to a view of the Constitutional Club, the second
allowing us to inspect the Dairy Show. We were amazed at the
splendour of the carele invented by that most gallant of veteran
warriors, Lieutenant-Colonel Edis of the Artist Rifle Yolunteer Corps.
The "hero of a hundred sites," (the dashing officer is not only a
soldier, but an architect) had made a feature of the electric lighting,
which certainly was of excellent elevation, and equal, if not superior
to oil or gas. The furniture too was of most admirable quality,
having been supplied from his own establishment by a prominent
member of the Committee. Now that the Constitutional is opened
for the admission of members, I shall not be surprised to hear of the
total collapse of White's, the.Junior Garrick, the Marlborough, the
Grafton, Boodle's, the Greenroom and others, with equal claims to
the highest social distinction.

We now wended our weary way to the Agricultural Hall, Islington,
(which is not to be compared with " Olympia," the coming—from
Paris—hippodrome of West Kensington) and were simply amazed
at the magnificent display of cheese, in the Dairy Show. The butter
too was a most impressive sight, and reminded some of our party of
the weird beauties of the far North, and others of Hudson's establish-
ment under the shadow of St. Paul's.

Having shown your entertaining relatives the above instructive
sights, the youngest of their party volunteered to take me in hand,
and offered to " put me up to a thing or two." Gratefully accepting
his invitation, I dined at Francatelli's, visited the Alhambra and.
the " Colinderies," and finished up with Ronano's and the Cavour.
The next morning, if I ignore a splitting headache and a settled
melancholy, I never felt better in my life.

Believe me, dear 3Ir. Punch, most gratefully,

A Perambulating Pleasure-Seeker.

THE AUSTRALIANS' FAREWELL.

[Most of the members of the Australian Cricket Team which has been
playing here this year left last week for home.]

Farewell to the land which once glowed with our glory !

Good-bye to the fields which once rang with our fame!
'Tis faded, that fame, and that page in our story

Turned o'er, and the next one reads not quite the same.
We have played against teams that have beaten us badly,

Have oft had to own that the best side had won.
The season is o'er, and our team departs sadly,

Not, not quite the team that past wonders bad done.
Farewell to thee, England! We left them behind us,

Those heroes who rivalled the pick of thy land.
The scores of those matches serve but to remind us

Of MuRDOcn—the touch of his strong (vanished) hand ;
Of Percy McDonnel, who beat your best bowlin',

Of Bannerman brave, with defence like a rook ;
Of artful old Boyle, with the game his whole soul in,

Of Massle the mighty, who never would " block."

Ah, Spofforth ! He knew not our depth of disaster,

Who dealt that unkindest cut-om- of all.
'Tis true you have bowled, but the hand of the master

Has ne'er been the same in command of the ball.
Oh, Blackham ! your hands must have lost half their cunning,

Now never too sure of a "stump " or a "catch" ;
And Bruce, Sir! your howling at home was thought "stunning,"

How is it you have not " come off " in a match ?

Ay, Jones may have scored, and George Giffen done wonders,

And Palmer and Scott may have " laid on the wood" ;
But whv in the field such a number of blunders ?

Why " rots," that our forerunners ever withstood ?
Farewell to thee, England! But, on our next visit,

You'll see our old Champions who triumphed before.
For the present you need not much wonder why is it

We boast of those once-vaunted "ashes" no more!

Artistic—It is understood that Mr. Millais, the painter of
" Chill October," is hotly—very hotly—indeed, in fact 90° in the
shadily—at work upon a companion picture, a subject suggested by
the recent tropical autumnal weather. It will be a landscape with
figures, the landscape broiling in the full blaze of a lingering but
potent Phccbus, the figures all at perspiration point. The title of the
picture will be " October with the Chill off."

The introduction of Wolfe Tone into Mr. Gladstone's corre-
spondence on Ireland sounds like a tone of disloyalty which the
Ex-Premier would be the first to disavow. But even a semi-Tone
of this Wolfish sort would have been a note of disaffection; and
Mr. Gladstone doesn't want this sort of thing " to give a tone " to
his speeches or writings.