Punch: Punch (91.1886)

November 6, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 221

oJru' Z\ ? ovm ^ struck me she was rather coquetting with him—

M" w a6? a Prench Pieoe-

observation te so' Sir' 1 anticipate the moral of your just

Mr. P. By the way, I trust Mr. Kendal is not' unwell, as I was

puzzled to
know why
he had not
been cast
for the part
of the stal-
wartyoung
curate,
which, it is
no dispar-
agement of
Mr. Wak-
ing's excel-
lent per-
formance,
to say,
would have
suited him
down to
the ground.

Mr. 2V. I
am not in
the secrets
of the St.
J am e s's

Where was Missis when the Kendal was out—of it ? Manage-
ment,

otherwise I might be able to tell you how it came about that The
Hobby-Horse assumed its present form. My theory is that Mr.
Pinero presented a farce, and that the absence of all serious interest
was considered a fatal objection to its success at the St. James's.
The obliging author agreed to introduce this element, and—spoilt the
Farce. Imagine a serious pathetic interest being suddenly brought
into Box and Cox!' Say, for instance, that a passion inspired°by
Mrs. Bouncer should divide the long-lost brothers, and that a strong
situation were reached by the unexpected return of Mr. Bouncer
to witness the infidelity of his spouse ! Would this serious element
improve the farce ? or would it not rather be utterly out of place,
and the farce spoilt by the introduction ?

Mr. P. Such an incongruous mixture would be, ordinarily, a
fatally inartistic blunder. Still, there are exceptions-

il/r. N. It is like Your Benevolence to say so, yet I do not see
that The Hobby Horse is one of them. But permit me to continue.

Mr. P. And finish ? With pleasure.

Mr. N. I take your hint, Sir. Well, Sir, that finally the lady's
husband, Mr. Jermyn, who is a vigorous, impetuous, manly old
English sportsman, to whom the notion of anyone not going straight
is detestable, and the offender unpardonable, should forgive his wife's
conduct, and should accept as a friend and neighbour the amorous
and reverend gentleman in whose house his wife has secretly passed
ten days, whom he has actually seen embracing his wife, and on
whom he must look as his youthful and handsome rival, and so
consent to figure as le plus heureux des trois, is the crowning
absurdity of these improbabilities, all admissible in English Farce,
but not in an English Comedy, which should represent typical men
and women, involved in a natural sequence of complications arising
out of some highly probable mistake.

Mr. P. I see. It is a farce played by excellent comedians as a
comedy.

Mr. N. Except by Mrs. Kendal, who as a leading Comedy actress,
can find nothing to grip in such a nonsensical character, and so plays
it, bit by bit, sham earnestness and real frivolity, with an evident
consciousness of its absurdity.

Mr. P. It is a sort of patch-work. Mrs. Teee is good.

Mr. N. Very. She has to represent the not remarkably original
part of a gushing young lady, and to act acting. Her effusiveness
about a Solicitor—which becomes somewhat wearisome on repetition-
is suggestive of the peculiar burlesque type of which the patent
belongs to Mr. Gilbert. , _ , ,

Mr. P. Mr. Mackintosh and Mr. Hendrle, as the broken down
Welshers, are, a trifle exaggerated, but still excellent.

Mr. N. They are, Sir. But can you imagine a hard-headed ex-
perienced old Turfite like Mr. Jermyn being taken in by a pair of
such transparent impostors ?

Mr. P. Well, no,-except in Farce.

Mr. N. Exactly, Sir. , . , , x ±.

Mr. P. Miss Webster is a charming ingenue, and as for the Mrs.
Porcher of Mrs. Gaston Murray,—(the lady was a lovely Fair
Rosamond at the Olympic—with a delicious voice)—she might
have stepped right out of Barchester Towers, and claimed Anthont
Tbolxope as her author.

Mr. N. It is all excellently played. Mr. Mellish as Tom Clark
began capitally, but, being encouraged, he overdid the boyishness of
the young sailor. Criticism apart, it is well worth seeing. It is some
time since I have laughed so heartily as I did at Mr. Hare as
Spencer Jermyn. In such a part as this he is simply unapproach-
able, and inimitable.
Mr. P. Come, we have to thank Mr. Pinero for something.
Mr. N. For much, Sir. But what would The Hobby Horse be
without its present interpreters ?

Mr. P. The town would soon cry, " For 0, for 0, the Hobby-
Horse is forgot! "

Mr. N. But as it all turns on the silence of the weak Solicitor,
Pinching,—a clever performance this of Mr. Somerset's,—and as
Pinching could really have upset it all at any moment, why Mr.
Pinero didn't call it The Solicitor—-

Mr. P. Perhaps he has another in hand with that title. But
anyhow I have to thank him for his share in giving me a very enjoy-
able evening. Au revoir, Mr. Nibbs, au revoir !

THE OUT-OF-DATE OLD BAILEY.

(Air—" Unfortunate Miss Bailey.")

Ye City Fathers, list to Mr. Punch, and take some action
Which will be everywhere received with shouts of satisfaction.
For when you undertake a thing 'tis not in fashion scaly,
So vote the money to rebuild the out-of-date Old Bailey.
0 Old Bailey,
You out-of-date Old Bailey,
You 're a disgrace
To such a place.
You miserable Old Bailey!

For Judges, Sheriffs, Jurymen, the Bar and Press reporters,
For all professionally engaged, there can't be " closer quarters,"
Than those in which at Session time they must pass hours daily,
Ill-lighted, badly ventilated Courts of the Old Bailey.

0 Old Bailey, &c.

Ye Common Councilmen, this blot upon the City odious
Remove, and build some Courts that shall be airy, light, commodious
We don't expect a palace that suggests life going gaily, _
But something grand, severe, unlike the hideous Old Bailey.
0 Old Bailey,
Hideous Old Bailey,
You 're the disgrace
Of such a place
As London!—Off! Old Bailey!

A Card.—Lord Bareacees will be most happy to portion out his
estate among agricultural labourers into as many allotments as pos
sible, and it will gratify him extremely to accept whatever amount
of rent he can get for any one of them.

JAN VAN BEERS.
Air—" The Shan Van Foght."

There 's a Dutchman in the
town,

Says the Jan Van Beers ;
There's a Dutchman in the
town;

Though he's more than half a
clown,

Still folks pay their shillings
down,

Says the Jan Van Beers.

Oh! what should the English
do?

Says the Jan Van Beers ;
What should the English do,
But admire my red and blue,
A " Bas-Kelief ;" And swear that I'm " too too!"

Or A Basso-relievo by D. Crambo. Says the Jan Van Beers.

And shall not Artists kneel ? But express contempt they feel

Says the Jan Van Beers. For your incense and pastille,
No! Artists will not kneel, Mister Jan Van Beers.

Mrs. Ram describing an unfortunate man who had lost the use of
his arms and legs, said, " My dear, it was a most sad sight! he was
scribbled all over I " _■

Sale-Room Con—Can an Auctioneer's craft be considered an
unwholesome one on account of its encouraging more-bid tastes r ^