Punch (93.1887)

12

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHAEIVARI.

[July 9, 1887.

then simultaneously shut. If B is open, the ' Ayes' and the
'Noes,' having seen E closed, form in one
stream, pass through, and there you are.
Don't you see ?"
Everybody saw quite clearly. Quite a
pleasure to see Isaac Holden (etat.
eighty, but full of youthful vigour)
starting off to try the new experi-
ment. Got through all right. But,
half an hour later, Giebeet Geeen-
ale found in recesses of ventilating
cellars, where, he said, he was " look-
ing for door E."

Business done.—Report on Coer-
cion Bill.

Tuesday.—Wilebid Lawson made
admirable suggestion to-night.
Proposes that, when titles or
honours are conferred upon any-
one, a statement should accom-
pany announcement, setting
forth the public services on
account of which the honour has
been conferred. It is so done in
, Young'Older. reBpect of Victoria Cross. List

of Honours conferred in connection with Jubilee show the necessity
of extending custom.

n "Who's he?" said Sir Boethwick, Bart., looking down the
Gazette when it came out. " Never heard of him, nor him either.
I seem to be really the crJy d'stinguished person in the lot."

List notable not only for what
it includes but for what it omits.
House of Commons united in ex-
pectation of one recognition, looked
for in vain. If " Barnets " were to
be made in Jubilee time, why was
Joseph Gillis overlooked? This
thought in everyone's mind, as
Joey B. turned up to-night telling
in a division against the Govern-
ment. His public appearance now
so rare that its recurrence was
an event. Since he came into pos-
session of Castle Butlerstown the
alteration, long-working, made sudden and
complete advance. His moustache, now
past the indefinite stage, is an unques-
tionable reality, and to see Joey B. twirl-
ing it a la Randolph, is a delight to the
quiet mind. Joseph feels his new respon-
sibilities. When reproached by Tim Healy
with his excessive respectability he is not
moved.

"It's all very well for you_, Tim, to be
brow-beating the Speakee, interrupting
u-aru » 1, s >> Hon. Members opposite, moving the ad-
wno she? journment and the like. But it's differ-

ent for a man who has a Castle, a drawbridge, a moat, and a
moustache."

Characteristic infelicity on the part of the Government to have
neglected this opportunity of recognising a. reformed character.
Joey B. is now a credit to the House. It would have been to the
credit of the Government had his friends been able to hail him as
Sir Joseph Gillis Biqgae, Bart., of Butlerstown Castle.

Business done.—Coercion Bill again.

Thursday. — " He! he!" said Old Morality, his white teeth
shedding pale light over Treasury Bench. "Capital joke! Hope
they '11 often repeat it."

Capital it was, and so unexpected, too. Secret admirably kept,
and sprung upon amazed House with marvellous effect. _ After
questions, 0. M. moved Resolutions providing for discussion on
Report Stage of Coercion Bill being peremptorily closed at Seven
o'Clook on Mondav night.

"The Early Closing Association," said Sir Wilfbtd Lawson,
looking across at Noble Lords and Right Hon. Gentlemen arrayed on
Treasury Bench in support of this Motion.

Parnellites of course hostile to Motion. But more particularly
enraged because 0. M. in moving it had not spoken single sentence.

" Come, come," said John Dillon, " this is too bad. If we are to
lose our liberties, let us, at least, have a speech in support of the
proposition."

But 0. M. obdurately silent, and debate kept up for three hours
from Opposition side. Then Division taken, and Motion carried by
majority of a round hundred. After this, Ministers looked forward
to another wearisome evening, with Friday to follow, and more talk

through Monday up to fatal Seven o'Clock. Here's where the joke
came in. The Opposition, returning from Division Lobby after voting
on Closure Proposition, continued their march through the House and
cleared out by the door. Ministers watched process with amazement,
growing into apprehension, and finally broadening into a grin of
delight as the joke flashed upon them. Having given Government
the trouble of preparing, moving and carrying Resolution, fixing
closure of debate on Monday evening, Irish Members not going to
debate at all! The Government might take their Report Stage;
which they did, and before you could say " W. H. Smith," the
Report Stage of the Coercion Bill was agreed to, and House, scarcely
recovered from surprise, was engaged upon miscellaneous business of
the Orders of the day.

Friday, Midnight.—Since dinner-time there has been exhilarating
scene in Palace Yard. Nearly every 'bus that has passed has
dropped a Duchess at the gate. Four-wheelers, conveying Countesses,
have regularly filed in ; whilst, what Sir Robert Peel would call
'' Noble Baronesses," have arrived on foot. As distinguished Novelist
somewhere writes, " Lo ! a strange thing has happened." On ordi-
nary days House of Lords, which commences public business at 5'30,
adjourns about 5'37. At this hour of midnight House still sitting,
and no sign of Adjournment. Irish Land Bill under debate. Subject
irresistible to Noble Lords. Have foregone their late afternoon drive
in the Park. More than one has patriotically dined on a chop.

A flush of honest pride mantles many a noble countenance. All
very well for the Commons to boast of their long sittings ; but see
what the Peers can do when duty calls! At first a little consterna-
tion at the arrivals from without. But even that turns out well.
There were stories of anxious wives communicating with House of
Commons during All-night Sittings, and finding errant husbands not
there. But here are Noble Lords unflinchingly serving their country,
remaining at their post, whate'er betide.

A beautiful and a soothing sight, which affects to tears some of
the Commons, who sit in the Gallery, and look down upon it.

Business done.—Lords pass Report Stage of Irish Land Bill.

"HOME, SWEET HOME!"
(New Version, by a Much- Worn-out M.P.)

" The welcome cry, ' Who goes home ?' sounds like a melanoholy dirge
through the rapidly-emptying lobbies."—Mr. Osborne Morgan, M.P., in
the "Nineteenth Century."

Midst clauses and paragraphs though we may roam.
Be it ever so dirge-like, there's no cry like ' Home! "
A charm undefined seems to hallow it there,
After Tanneb's loud shindy and Conybeabe's blare.
Home ! Home ! Sweet, sweet " Home ! "
Be it ever so dirge-like, there's no cry like "Home! "

An exile from office, I will not complain,
Give me only my calm " btauty sleep " once again;
The birds singing sweetly at dawn be my lot
To hear, not loud torrents o£ partisan rot.

Home ! Home ! Sweet, sweet " Home ! "

Be it ever so dirge-like, there's no cry like " Home!"

CRICKET AT LORD'S.

Hits by Dumb Crambo, Jun.

A Patient Innings. A Cut in front of Point.

S HoE MA K ER

1%

Last Man. His usual form.

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