Punch (93.1887)

October 22, 1887.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON_^AEIVAEL

191

A QUESTION OF POLICE.

..... , , _ hn* taken nlace in the Metropolitan Police district of late

.aXo^un^^^^

Meports, 1885, 1886. . . • Motrnnnlitan Police Force now amount to one hundred per diem."

« The average applications for admission to the Metropoutan ronce j. statistics, October, 1887.

loom, he will have to
content himself with
stale sponge-cakes, the
day - before - y esterday' s
f>uns, and small tins of
lemon-drops.

But let us get out of
the Cabin, 1 certainly
Prefer the deck of an
excellent steamer to the
arrangements made for
Providing one with
breakfast down below.

CHANNEL TALK.

Arranged for the use of
the returning British
Passenger atBreakfast-
time. By a very Dys-
peptic Contributor,

It is a glorious thing
to think that one is
leaving France and all
foreign kickshaws be-
hind one, and is once
more approaching dear
honest old England on
the deck of a British
steamer.

But let us come into
the cabin and have a
hit of breakfast before
we get in.

Surely that table
covered with a dirty
sheet instead, of a table-
cloth is not prepared for
our repast ?

Why, this stale
loaf must have been on
board quite a week.

It has evidently made
several passages back-
Wards and forwards in
company with this ex-
tremely remarkable
sample of butter.

Why does this coffee
the Steward has just
brought us look like
ink and sawdust, and
taste like something
Perplexing ?

The Frenchman, who
has been expecting de-
jeuner d la fourchette,
is surveying with as-
tonishment the dish of
mutton-chops they have
set down before him.

It is a great pity that
they are all two inches
thick, and are under-
done when cut.
. I wonder whether he
is thinking, as I am, of
the clean, fresh, and
trim restaurant table,
the excellent cafe au
hit, petits-pains, Nor-
niandy butter, and other
"foreign kickshaws,"
that he has just left be-
hind him in France.

Though he has had to
Pay three shillings for
his hot breakfast, he
has informed me that
be will wait till he ar-
rives, and take " le
lunch" on shore.
. I wonder whether he
18 aware that, if he

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KorJ, V...Sfl. _ ..... .....TT^,ln,cd\. " So. MY LaD, YOU want 10 BE a COKstable 1

,, , „. rr,,™,, jm,rd) "SO, my LaD, you want to be a constable 1

Sergeant Punch (inspecting wouta-ue °%'bat's right! Hem! the Force has long been

Rather enforce the Law than break it, eh . „

undermanned. We must see if we can't makejwo^f^you^

Ne Plus Ulster.—Mr. Chamberlain seems to find the heart of the Irish Question in Ulster. Does he expect
to find its solution there ? He appears to set little store by the wishes of those not inconsiderable portions of
Ireland which, as he says, " do not form a portion of the Ulster plantation." All other parts, even of the favoured
province, " though geographically part of Ulster, are not partsof what we know as political Ulster." This cer-
tainly narrows the Irish Question. But does it simplify it ? We have all heard of those who are " more Irish
than the Irishmen themselves." Mr. Chamberlain seems to be more Ulsterish than the men of Ulster, though
they, to be sure, on his own showing, are virtually English and Scotch. In declining to look beyond Ulster, it may
be asked whether he looks into the Irish Question at all. Altogether Irish—very I