Punch (94.1888)

^_ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Janoary u, 1887.

LONDON IDYLS.

Algernon {the Heir). "Awfully kind of JIks. Masham to give us a Lift. But it was rather a Squeeze, eh?"

Jack the Detrimental [his Younger JBrotJier). " Yes. By the way, talking of Squeezes, it struck me very forcibly, driving

along, that you 'd got hold of one of MlSS laura masham's hands ! "

Algernon. "Well, you meddling young Idiot! what if I had?"
Jack. ' Oh, nothing. Only I'd got hold of the Other, you know!"

BALFOUR'S "IRREPRESSIBLE" DONKEY.

Air.—" The King of the Cannibal Islands."

Osl.have you heard—but of course you have—
Of a curious creature, as stubborn as brave,
An iron-heeled kicker, a buck-jumping
knave,

Called the Irrepressible Donkey ?
The " Blondin Donkey " is full of his tricks,
But the Irrepressible easily licks
His Music-Hail model in capers and kicks ;
And the cleverest rider is found in a fix,
When he sidles up to the animal's side,
Flings o'er the saddle his legs astride,
And rides, or rather essays to ride,
The Irrepressible Donkey.
See him straddle, behold him rear!
The cleverest rider may well feel fear,
And cling to the neck, or hold on by the ear,
Of the Irrepressible Donkey.

This mischievous "moke" is an awkward
brute,

And apt from the saddle to suddenly shoot
The would-be Balaam who doesn't suit

The Irrepressible Donkey.
Many a Balaam that seat hath had,
Riders good, and riders bad,
But Tory, Liberal, "Whig, or Had,
This dreadful donkey has driven them mad.
Forster fuzzy, and Balfour tall,
Hicks-Beach, Morley, each and all,
At one time or other, have had a fall

From the Irrepressible Donkey.
See him straddle, &c.

Balfour mounted as well as most,
And some of his friends are beginning to
boast

That he's a right Raeey, who will not be
tost

From the Irrepressible Donkey.
Of Donkey-riding he has the gift,
Is up to each asinine struggle and shift,
Can make the animal feel his heft,
And prone on his back will never be left.
Balfour, they say. is a blessed boon,
He '11 treat as the Colonel treated the coon,
And make dance, soon, to a genteel tune,

The Irrepressible Donkey.

See him straddle, &c.

Well, that, of course, remains to be seen;
At present the creature is prancing, I ween ;
There still seems some "devil," and plenty
of spleen.
In the Irrepressible Donkey.
Round he goes with his hoofs asprawl,
His mouth gapes wide, and his teeth aren't
small,

With his ears laid back, and his tail ;to the
wall,

He doesn't appear a nice " mount" at all._
To brave Balfour and his " resolute" Chief
Twill be a great joy, and a real relief,
To find there's one rider does not come to grief
With the Irrepressible Donkey.
See him straddle, and stamp, and rear !
Look at his grinders, and twig his ear!
He'll still want a good deal of " riding," I
fear—

The Irrepressible Djnkey!

" A SELF-EDUCATING PROFESSION."

In consequence of his distinguished suc-
cess at Berlin, Mr. Charles Wyndham, will,
it is probable, play David Qarrick at St.
Petersburgh. The play has been already sub-
mitted to the Chief of the Detective Police,
who is still engaged on attempting to discover
the plot. Mr. Wyndham has assured the
Head of the Department that there is nothing
in it—meaning the plot not the head—but
this sounded so like Nihilism in it, that the
play will now have to undergo the severest
scrutiny. Mr. Charles Wyndham will play
the part in Russian. The title of the piece
will be Davidoff Garrickski.

It is understood in certain well-informed
circles that Mr. Henry Irving (who in spite
of all reports to the contrary, is quite well,
we are very glad to hear, and doing first-rate
business. We always did think his business
very good, especially as Mephistopheles, Louis
the Eleventh, and Mathias) is studying Spanish
and Portuguese, in order to play a round of his
favourite characters at Madrid and Oporto.

Mr. Toole is studying Spanish in order to
appear at Madrid as Don Paulus Prios, but
Miss Linden has requested him to defer his
engagement in the Fiji Islands for another
week or two, in order to enable her to obtain
a thorough mastery of the language. Some
Sandwich Island men have already been sent
on in advance with the board-advertisements.

"On 'Change."—Quotation for the New
Year, If (1888).