DOI issue:
June 22, 1889
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0313
June 22, 1889.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
305
iVIR. PUNCH’S MODEL MUSIC-HALL SONGS.
No. VI.—The Chivalrous.
The Singer {who should he a large man, in evening dress, with a
crumpled shirt-front) will come on the stage with a hearing
intended to convey at first sight that he is a devoted admirer of
the fair sex. After removing his crush-hat in an easy manner,
and winking airily at the orchestra, he iviU begin :—
There’s enthusiasm brimming in the breasts of all the women,
And they ’re calling for enfranchisement with clamour eloquent:
When some parties in a huff rage at the plea for Female Sufirage,
I invariably floor them with a simple argu-ment.
Chorus {to he rendered with a winning persuasiveness).
Why shouldn't the darlings have votes ? de-ar things!
On politics each of ’em dotes, de-ar things !
(.Pathetically.) Oh, it does seem so hard
They should all be debarred,
’Cause they happen to wear petticoats, de-ar things!
Nature all the hens to crow meant; I could prove it in a moment,
Though they’ve selfishly been silenced by the cockadoodle-doos.
But no man of sense afraid is of enfranchising the Ladies.
{Magnanimously.) Let’em put their pretty fingers into any pie
they choose!
Spoken—For- Chorus—Why shouldn’t the darlings, &c.
They would cease to care for dresses, if we made them elec-tresses,
No more time they’d spend on needlework, nor at pianos strum ;
Every dainty little Dorcas would be sitting on a Caucus,
Busy wire-pulling to produce the New Millenni-um !
Spoken—Oh ! Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
In the House we ’ll see them sitting soon, it will be only fitting.
They should have an opportunity their country’s laws to frame.
And the Ladies’ legislation will be sure to cause sensation,
For they ’ll do away with everything that seems to them a shame !
Spoken—Then- Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
They will promptly clap a stopper on whate’er they deem improper,
Put an end to vaccination, landed property, and pubs;
And they’ll fine Tow, Dick, and Harry, if they don’t look sharp
and marry,
And for Kindergartens confiscate those nasty horrid Clubs !
Spoken— Ah! Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
They ’ll declare it’s quite immoral to engage in foreign quarrel,
And that Britons never never will be warriors any more !
When our forces are abolished, and defences all demolished,
They will turn upon the Jingo tack, and want to go to war !
Spoken—So- Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
{With a grieved air.) Yet there’s some who’d close such vistas to
their poor down-trodden sisters,
And persuade ’em, if they ’re offered votes, politely to refuse !
Say they do not care about ’em, and would rather be without ’em—
Oh, I haven’t common patience with such narrer-minded views !
Spoken—No ! Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
And it’s females—that’s the puzzle !—who petition for the muzzle,
Which I call it poor and paltry, and I think you ’ll say so too.
They are not in any danger. Let ’em drop the dog-in-manger!
If they don’t require the vote themselves, there’s other Ladies do !
Spoken— And-- Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
\_Here the Singer will gradually retreat backwards to the rear of the
stage, open his crush-hat, and extend it in an attitude of triumph
as the Curtain descends.
“The case in a nutshell”—or at least, if a nutshell may be con-
sidered as a hat, in a hat-box. In the Bishop of Lincoln’s
prosecution, it was thought that the decision in the Bennett case
would be of some weight. One objection to this was, that in future
the two would be quoted as “The Lincoln and Bennett” cases, and
so eause some confusion.
From the Disestablisheds Point oe View.—The modern Jonah
is the English Church in Wales.
“Strikes on his own Box.”—The Paris Cabman.
HINTS FOR THE PARK.
If you are a Nervous Rider, and rather afraid of your new Mare, it’s better to leave your Spurs on, than to put
THEM INTO YOUR POCKET !
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
305
iVIR. PUNCH’S MODEL MUSIC-HALL SONGS.
No. VI.—The Chivalrous.
The Singer {who should he a large man, in evening dress, with a
crumpled shirt-front) will come on the stage with a hearing
intended to convey at first sight that he is a devoted admirer of
the fair sex. After removing his crush-hat in an easy manner,
and winking airily at the orchestra, he iviU begin :—
There’s enthusiasm brimming in the breasts of all the women,
And they ’re calling for enfranchisement with clamour eloquent:
When some parties in a huff rage at the plea for Female Sufirage,
I invariably floor them with a simple argu-ment.
Chorus {to he rendered with a winning persuasiveness).
Why shouldn't the darlings have votes ? de-ar things!
On politics each of ’em dotes, de-ar things !
(.Pathetically.) Oh, it does seem so hard
They should all be debarred,
’Cause they happen to wear petticoats, de-ar things!
Nature all the hens to crow meant; I could prove it in a moment,
Though they’ve selfishly been silenced by the cockadoodle-doos.
But no man of sense afraid is of enfranchising the Ladies.
{Magnanimously.) Let’em put their pretty fingers into any pie
they choose!
Spoken—For- Chorus—Why shouldn’t the darlings, &c.
They would cease to care for dresses, if we made them elec-tresses,
No more time they’d spend on needlework, nor at pianos strum ;
Every dainty little Dorcas would be sitting on a Caucus,
Busy wire-pulling to produce the New Millenni-um !
Spoken—Oh ! Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
In the House we ’ll see them sitting soon, it will be only fitting.
They should have an opportunity their country’s laws to frame.
And the Ladies’ legislation will be sure to cause sensation,
For they ’ll do away with everything that seems to them a shame !
Spoken—Then- Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
They will promptly clap a stopper on whate’er they deem improper,
Put an end to vaccination, landed property, and pubs;
And they’ll fine Tow, Dick, and Harry, if they don’t look sharp
and marry,
And for Kindergartens confiscate those nasty horrid Clubs !
Spoken— Ah! Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
They ’ll declare it’s quite immoral to engage in foreign quarrel,
And that Britons never never will be warriors any more !
When our forces are abolished, and defences all demolished,
They will turn upon the Jingo tack, and want to go to war !
Spoken—So- Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
{With a grieved air.) Yet there’s some who’d close such vistas to
their poor down-trodden sisters,
And persuade ’em, if they ’re offered votes, politely to refuse !
Say they do not care about ’em, and would rather be without ’em—
Oh, I haven’t common patience with such narrer-minded views !
Spoken—No ! Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
And it’s females—that’s the puzzle !—who petition for the muzzle,
Which I call it poor and paltry, and I think you ’ll say so too.
They are not in any danger. Let ’em drop the dog-in-manger!
If they don’t require the vote themselves, there’s other Ladies do !
Spoken— And-- Chorus—Why shouldn't the darlings, &c.
\_Here the Singer will gradually retreat backwards to the rear of the
stage, open his crush-hat, and extend it in an attitude of triumph
as the Curtain descends.
“The case in a nutshell”—or at least, if a nutshell may be con-
sidered as a hat, in a hat-box. In the Bishop of Lincoln’s
prosecution, it was thought that the decision in the Bennett case
would be of some weight. One objection to this was, that in future
the two would be quoted as “The Lincoln and Bennett” cases, and
so eause some confusion.
From the Disestablisheds Point oe View.—The modern Jonah
is the English Church in Wales.
“Strikes on his own Box.”—The Paris Cabman.
HINTS FOR THE PARK.
If you are a Nervous Rider, and rather afraid of your new Mare, it’s better to leave your Spurs on, than to put
THEM INTO YOUR POCKET !