Punch (99.1890)

12 PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 6, 1890.

again; Loan Chancellor, comically half turned, round on the
Woolsack, followed suit.

"Do it a third time, Clabence," whispered H.R.H., entering
into fun of thing. So the new Peer, always with his eyes gravely
fixed on Loed Chancellor, who, in the excitement of the
moment, had got his left leg cocked over the Woolsack, did it a third
time; Lord Chancellor did the same; Princesses in the Gallery
sweetly smiling; Garter King-at-Arms totting off the number of
salutes; and Black Rod thanking his stars that presently, when they
left the House, he could walk face forward, not as when he visited
the Commons, walking backward like a crab.

" I think that '11 do," said H.R.H. "Halsbury is in very un-
comfortable attitude; besides this
is a sort of game that palls after
the third round. Go and say
good - bye to Halsbuey, and
we'll go and have a cup,of tea
with your mother."

Procession reformed; New Peer
led up to Woolsack, where Loed
Chancelloe, with little gesture
of surprise, as if he had only now
caught sight of him for first time,
shook hands with him. Prince of
Wales lifted his cap to Loed
Chancelloe ; Lord Chancellor
lifted his cap to Prince of Waxes ;
the other Princes followed suit;
Black Rod toddled off; and the
gay and gorgeous procession dis-
appeared through the doorway,
leaving the Chamber in sudden
twilight, as if the sun had dipped
below the horizon.

An exceedingly friendly meet-
ing all round ; quite contagious.

"Toby, M.P.fl presume? " said " Toby> M-p-> } P^ume
Broadhurst, as I walked out. He had been looking on, and had
quite caught the graceful manner of the Lord Chancellor. I
raised my hat three times, and went on to the Commons, where
there were wigs on the Green.

Business done.—hi Commons, Compensation Clauses withdrawn.

Tuesday— Tim Healy puts final spoke in wheel of Compensation
Bill. Rose after questions on paper disposed of, and asked for ruling
of Speaker on an important point affecting Parliamentary Procedure.
Tim's manner boded ill for the Government—deferential, low-voiced,
with total absence of self-assertion or aggression, Tim stood, the very
model of a modest young man.

"Yes," said Prince'Arthur, "but I hope he's not" going to say

anything
about Irish
business.
When he's in
this mood, I
prefer he
should ad-
dress himself
to my dear
friendJoKlM."

Tim had
anticipated
Prince Ae-
thur'swishes.
It was about
Compensation
Bill that he
desired to con-
sult Speaker.
Jokim, as last
turn in de-
vious course,
had proposed
to dodge dif-
ficulty about
Compensation
by accumulat-
ing proceeds

Might Son. A. Balfour. " My dearest Tim, ' for this ?£. J£C1^S^

relief much thanks!'" ?n • A 7

till some inde-
finite period, when great reform of Licensing should be introduced.
"But,", says Tim, almost begging pardon for interposing, "in
Budget Bill it has been specifically decreed that proceeds of tax
should he appropriated during present Session." Accumulation,
Tim urged, with a vague notion that he was dropping into

poetry, is not Appropriation. Speaker agreed with him: conster-
nation on Treasury Bench; Ministers tried to put hold face on
affairs ; could not discuss question now ; would do so by-and-by ;
confident they could show there was nothing in Tim's objection. An
hour later, when time came to resume Committee on Compensation
Bill, Old Morality announced that it would be postponed to give
Ministers opportunity to consider point suggested by Tim. Shout of
exultation went up from Opposition Benches ; prolonged fight had
been won at last; the obnoxious Bill was floored, and Tim had
done it.

Old Morality, standing at table in attitude where natural nobility
of character struggled with accidental depression, said: "Success,
Mr. Speaker, is a mark no mortal wit of surest hand can always
hit. For whatsoe'er we perpetrate, we do but row; we are steered
by fate, which in success often disinherits, for spurious causes,
noblest merits. Great occasions, Mr. Speaker, are not always true
sons of great and mighty resolutions, nor, I may add, do the boldest
attempts bring forth events still equal to their worth. That may be
the case with us; but at least we shall carry to our homes the con-
sciousness that we have diligently striven to do our duty to our
Queen and our country." General cheering at this little speech,
and scarcely dry eye on Treasury Bench.

Business done.—Compensation Bill in fresh difficulties.

Thursday.—Sitting remarkable for two speeches from ordinarily
silent Members. Began and ended proceedings. First was by
Wharton, on presenting petition signed by i over half a million
persons in favour of Compensation Clauses of Licensing Bill.
Petition brought down in three eases by Pickford's van. Conve-
niently disposed on floor of House; occupied the whole space. Per-
turbation on Treasury Bench at the report that there was Royal
Commission going forward in other House. Time of the Session
when these are frequent. Black Rod arrives; requests attendance
of Members to hear Commission read. Advances towards table,
bowing to chair; retires backward;
Speaker follows him. How would
it_ be to-day, with floor blocked
with towering cases ? Black Rod
an old sailor, might haul himself
up hand-over-hand, and skip across
tops of cases; hut never do for
the Speaker so to scramble out.
Hasty and anxious inquiry made.
Turned out to be no Royal Com-
mission to-day; bo new disaster for
Ministers avoided.

Wharton _ succeeds somehow
when presenting Petition in casting
sort of Cathedral Close air over
proceedings. Life-long association
with cathedrals and their precincts
have invested him with placid
charm of manner: would have
made an excellent Dean; gone off
capitally as a Canon ; now, as he
waves his hand 'towards the space
lately crowded by the Petition,
wears subtle, indescribable, but
unmistakable air, as if he were
taking part in„.'.a Confirmation
Service.

The other orator, Grimston, con-
siderably less ecclesiastical in his
manner. Appeared suddenly on
scene at midnight; maiden speech ;

very effective. "Mr. Courtney, , ,, ., „ ,

Sir," he said, diffidently hiding his A Malden Speech-

hands in his trousers' pockets, "I claim the indulgence the House
always extends to young Members, in rising to address it for the
first time. _ I beg to move that the question be now put," Question
put accordingly; debate Closured, and so home.

Business done.—Quite a lot. Licensing Clauses finally dropped;
Allotments Bill read Third Time; Barracks Bill through Committee.

Friday.—Police in possession of House to-night. Matthews
moved Second Reading of Bill dealing with Force. Quite unusual
consensus of approval, considering it is a Government Bill. Only for
Geoege Campbell, chorus would have been unanimous. But Geoege,
looking in from Zanzibar, where he had called after a brief trip
through Jerusalem and Madagascar, denounced the measure as
" thoroughly bad." House thereupon passed Second Reading
without division.

Business done.—'Police Bill read Second Time.

"The Oof Bird" is the Auk, as CornhillMag. says its eggs cost £170
apiece,—of course when fresh. What a big lark!—Tours, 'Arry.

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