Punch (99.1890)

December 27, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

301

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

The origin of the phrase, Le Coup de Jarnae, ia interesting,
and the story is well told hy Mr. -Kicdowall in M&cmillan's
Magazine. Good, this, for " The Two Macs."
In The Argosy, edited hy Mr. Chables "Wood, there are two good
most seasonable Ghost Stories, hy Chabi.es
W. Wood, the "Rev. F. 0. W." The first
is not new, as there is a similar legend
attached to several old Manor Houses, one
of a Sussex Family House, the Baron had
first-hand, from a witness on the premises.
It lacked corroboration at the time, and is
likely to do so.

The Letters passing between a fine young
English Cantab, "all of the modern style,"
and his family at home, are uncommonly
amusing. Harry Fludyer at Cambridge is
the title of the book, published by Chatto
and Windus. "Well, to quote the ancient
wittioism in vogue tempore Edovardi Recti et Don Paolo
Bedford! (the great Adelphoi, or rather the great " Fill-
Adelphians," as they were once called), "Things is werry much
as they used to was " at Cambridge, and University life of to-day
differs very little from that of yesterday, or the day before, or the
day before that. " Haic olim meminisse juvabit," when, half a
century hence, the rollicking author of these letters—which, by
the way, first appeared in The IGranta—is telling his Minimus
what "a dog," he, the writer, was, and what "a day he used to
have," in the merry time that's past and gone. "His health and
book!" quoth the Baron.

A more muddle-headed story than The Musing Member I have
not read for some considerable time.

The Baron sends Hachette & CrE.'s " Mon Premier Alphabet,"
and the moral tale of " Mile. 3farie Sans-souci," up to the nursery
where they will be much appreciated by the little Barons.

"Lett's get a Diary," quoth a Barren Jester, not the Baron de
B. W., who, had it not been Christmas time, would have expelled
the witty youth. " No joke, if you please," quoth he, " about
Letts's 'Diaries. We may advertise these useful and hardy annuals
in canine Latin and say, 4 Libera nos !' i.e., Letts out! "

Baron de Book-Worms & Co.
P. S. I have it on the best authority that Mrs. Sutherland
Edwabds, Author of The Secret of the Princess; a Tale of Country,
Camp, Court, Convict, and Cloister Life in Russia, is about to
produce a highly sensational work, entitled The Bargain of the
Barmaid; a Story of Claret, Cheese, Coffee, Cognac, and Cigar
Life in London,

CINDERELLA. EIN DE SIECLE.

(A Fairy Tale for Christmas.)

The Lady Help was busy at her domestic duties when her God-
mother knocked at the kitchen-door, and entered.

"Alas, poor Cinderella!" said the Fairy, in a compassionate
tone, " and so your stepmother and sisters have gone to the Prince's
ball, and left you to cleanse the pots and pans ? "

"Thank you," returned her God-daughter; "I am perfectly
well satisfied to be left with my books. As a matter of fact, dances
bore me."

And she carelessly glanced at some mathematical works that the
had used when cramming for the Senior Wranglership.

"Nonsense, my dear," responded the well-intentioned Fairy," Get
me a pumpkin, some mice-"

" Quite out of date," interrupted Cinderella. "I presume you
intend to turn the pumpkin into a great coach, and so forth. Eh ? "

"Well," admitted the Fairy, taken aback, " ye-es."

'' Quite so. Believe me, the idea is distinctly old-fashioned. Pray
understand, I don't say you can't do it. Nowadays, with Edison
and Koch, it would be dangerous to suggest that anything was
impossible. No, I merely object to travel in a conveyance that
will naturally be redolent of the odours of the kitchen garden,
and to be driven by a coaohman derived from a rodent."

"But this objection is contrary to precedent," urged the Fairy.
"You ought to express unbounded .delight, and then depart in
your carriage with the greatest eclat possible."

" You are most kind, but, if I am to do anything of that sort,
I would prefer leaving the matter in the hands of Mr. Sheriff
Augustus Hareis who thoroughly understands the entire business."

"It seems to me," said the Fairy, "you are very ungrateful.
But surely you want a magnificent costume ? "

" Thanks, no ; I get everything from Paris."

" And you think of the feelings of your modiste, and ignore those
of your poor old (but well-preserved) Godmother! " And the Fairy
was nearly moved, to tears.

"Oh, I did not mean to pain you!" exclaimed Cinderella.
" Stay, my dear Lady, do you believe in hypnotism ? No ? Well, I
do, and exercise it. Pardon me I "

And as she made a few passes, the Fairy sank into a mesmeric
trance. Then Cinderella desired that her Godmother should
imagine that she had been the heroine of a Fairy Story.

_' Dear me," cried the now-satisfied dame, as she regained con-
sciousness; "and so you went to the ball, lost your slipper, and
married the Prince ? "

" That was the impression I wished to convey to you. And now,
my dear, good Lady, I am afraid I must ask you to leave me."

And as the Fairy disappeared, Cinderella resumed her self-
imposed tasks of making an omelette and squaring the circle.

Re-" Mabks."—New Legal Measure, " One Gill more than equal
to Several Legal Pints." [Formula, 1 Gill = 1 + x pints.]

Sir Charles Russell troubled by a Fair of Gills.
Mr. Gill objected to Sir Chables Russell's yawning in Court;
but he forgot that a Queen's Counsel of Sir Chables's standing and
reputation has a right to " open his mouth" pretty wide.

The Knell oe Home Rule.—Par-nell.

vol. ion. v v