Punch (99.1890)

August 2, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI.

57

THE REAL GRIEVANCE OFFICE.

(Before Mr. Commissioner Punch.)

An Anglo-Indian Gentleman introduced.

The Commissioner. "Well, Sir, "What can I do for you ?
Anglo-Indian, I wish respectfully to call your attention, Sir, to
our ease, which is now before a Parliamentary Committee. I am an

Indian Civil Servant. I am called a
member of the Uncovenanted Service,
but I contend that such a term is a
misnomer. Originally the Uncove-
nanted Service consisted of Natives of
India, who were employed, without
covenant, to do subordinate official
work, under the direction of the Cove-
nanted Civil Service. The bulk of
these persons were overseers and tax-
collectors.

_ The Com. Has there been any altera-
tion of late years? I see you lay a
stress upon originally.

Anglo-In. At this moment there are
in the Service, in one department
alone — the Educational — a Senior
Classic, a Second Wrangler, several
other Wranglers, and many Fellows of
Oxford and Cambridge, who took high honours with their degrees.
The Service now requires great teohnical knowledge, as it has to deal
with Archaeology, Finance, Geological Survey, Public Works, and
Telegraphy, and can only be entered by Europeans, who have been
selected by nomination, or after competition, either by the Secretary
of State for India, or the Government of India. It is not an Un-
covenanted Service, as we now enter it with the prospect of a
pension; and one of our grievances is, that that prospect has become
less favourable through the reoent action of our employers.
The Com. Be kind enough to explain,

Anglo-In. Certainly, Sir. When we entered the Service our
pension, after serving thirty years, was stated by the Secretary of
State to be £500. Naturally this was taken to mean gold, but
because years ago the Service consisted of Natives, the Government
hit upon the plan of paying us in silver, which at the present rate
means a loss of £150 in the £500.

The Com. Are the members of the other Indian Services, Civil
and Military, treated in like manner ?

Anglo-In. No, they are paid their pensions in gold.

The Com. Well, considering the class of men who now enter your
Service, I do not see why you should be put at so great a disadvan-
tage. Have you any other grievances ?

Anglo-In. Well, thirty years is a long time to have to serve in a
climate as trying as the tropics, especially when we are not allowed,
to count furlough as service.

The Com. I think so, too. Then I may sum up your grievances
thus. You are educated men, and therefore deserve fair treatment.
You would consider fair treatment, payment of pensions in gold,
and the lessening of the years of service necessary to earn the right
oi retirement ?

Anglo-In. Exactly, Sir; and I cannot thank yoa sufficiently for
putting our case so plainly.

The Com. Not at all. Should you receive no redress within a
reasonable time, you may mention the matter to me again.

[ The Witness with a grateful bow then withdrew.

THE SHADOW OF A CASE!

[To the Editor of Punch.)
Dear Sir,—As the leading forensic journal of this great .'country
(your contemporary Weekly Notes runs you pretty close occasionally
in some of its reports), I address you. It was my painful duty a few
days ago (I had to "take a note ' for a colleague, an occupation more
honourable than lucrative), to be present at a cause that was heard
before the President of the Probate, Divorce, and Admiralty Division
of the High Court of Justice and a Special Jury. The trial created
considerable interest, not only amongst the general public, but
amongst that branch of our honourable Profession represented by the
Junior Bar, no doubt, because certain points of law, not easily re-
cognisable—I frankly confess, I myself, am unable to recount them
—were no doubt in question, and had to be decided, by competent
authority. The Counsel directly engaged were some of the brightest
ornaments of Silk and Stuff. Amongst the rest were my eloquent
and learned friend, Sir Charles Russell, my erudite and learned
friend Mr. Inderwick (whose Side- lights upon the Stuarts, is a
marvel of antiquarian research), and my mirth-compelling and
learned friend Mr. Frank Lockwood, whose law is only equalled

(if, indeed, it is equalled) by his comic draughtmanship. As the
details of the trial have been fully reported, there is no necessity to go
into particulars. However, there was a feature in the case that the
passing notice of an article in one or more of the leading journals is
scarcely sufficient to meet.

It was proved that the detective part of divorce (if I may use the
expression) may be conducted, in a fashion, to say the least, of not
the moBt entirely satisfactory character. A talented family were
called before us, whose performances were, from one point of view,
extremely amusing. But, Sir, although (as you will be the first to
admit) laughter is a most excellent thing in its proper place, the
sound of oachinnation is seldom pleasing in the Divorce Court.
Under these circumstances I would propose that, in future, Divorce
Shadowing should be put under the protection of the State. There
should be a special department, and the Shadowers should be of the
distinguished position of Mr. McDotjgall of the London County
Council, and the like. The office of the rank and file of the Shadowers
should be honorary, as the pleasure of following in (possibly) un-
savoury steps in the cause of virtue, would be to them, I presume,
ample reward for any trouble the labour might entail. I would
willingly myself undertake the responsibilities attaching to the post
of Director-General, of course on the understanding that a suitable
provision were made, not only as compensation for the loss of my
practice, but also that I might perform the duties of the office with
suitable dignity. But when I say this, I would add, that I should
reserve to myself the right of seeking the supplementary services
of the Archbishop of Canterbury, and Mr. Sheriff Augustus Harris,
as assessors in assisting me to distinguish between innocence and
vice, and guilt and virtue.

Believe me, with an expression of all necessary respect for " the
Nobility " connected with the case to which I have referred, and
admiration for the courage of a certain Militiaman, exhibited by his
entering the witness-box, and there faoing the oross-examination
he so richly deserved, I remain, Yours truly,

(Signed) A Briefless, Junior.

Pump-handle Court, July 29, 1890.

OUE BOOKING-OFFICE.
Poet and Prophet are nearly allied. Mr. Alfred Austin is an
illustration of this, in his recently published English Lyrics
(Macmlllan) all of which he must have written
in utter ignorance of the doings of the Chair-
man of the County Council. Yet, hath the
Prophetic Poet these lines: —

" Primrose, why do you pass away ? "
And the Primrose's return:

" Nay, rather, why should we longer stay ?"

But the Conservative bias of the Poet is shown
in the next line:

" "We are not needed," &o.

The commencement of the poem, however,
as here quoted, is evidently an inspiration
for which the Poet was not responsible. It
is a charming little volume of charming verse. It is good poetic
wine, which needs not the bush provided by Mr. William Watson
in the shape of a thickset introduction. What, asks W. W., is the
attitude of Alfred Austin towards Nature ? This recalls a well-
known scene in Nicholas Nickleby—" She's a rum 'un, is Natur',"
said Mr. Squeers. "She is a holy thing, Sir," remarked Mr. Snaio-
ley. "Natur'," said Mr. Squeers, solemnly, "is more easier con-
ceived than described. Oh, what a blessed thing, Sir, to be in a
state of natur'! " And these observations of Messrs. Snawley and
Squeers pretty accurately sum up all that the ingenious William
Watson has to say about Natur'_ and Alfred Austin. The moral
of which lies in the application of it, which is,—skip the prefaoe, and
make plunge into the poetry.

A good deal has been written in olden time and of late about the
Oberammergau Passion Play. Nothing has been better done than
the work by Mr. Edward R. Eussell, formerly M.P. for Glasgae,
who visited Oberammergau this year. His account is instinct with
keen criticism, fine feeling, and reasoning reverence. Moreover,
whilst other works are padded out into bulky volumes, he says all
that need be said in fifteen pages of !a pleasantly-printed booklet-
price sixpenoe. It is a reprint from letters which the errant Editor
contributed to his journal, the Liverpool Daily Post, at the sign of
which copies may be had. The Baron De Book-Worms & Co.

Art's Friends and Foe!
Tate, Wallace, Agnew ! Here be three good names,
Friends of true Art, and f urtherers of her aims;
Munificence but waits to take sound shape ;
Say, shall it be frustrated by—Red Tape i