Punch (99.1890)

August 30, 1890.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

107

WHAT THE TAME RABBIT
SAID TO THE GRAND OLD
CARDENER.

(Some way after " Alice in
Wonderland,")

" The work of Major Morant
iB headed Profitable Rabbit Farm-
ing. [Laughter.) Tea, that is a
subject for merriment, probably,
on account of its comparative
novelty, but it is also a subject of
satisfaction, which is akin to
merriment, because this rabbit-
farming appears to be a very good
and promising description of pur-
suit. . . . That is the raising
of tame rabbits."—Mr. Gladstone
at the Hawarden Floral and
Horticultural Society's Show.

These were the verses the Tame
Rabbit recited:—

The Grand Old Man was on
the stir;

Mobant named me to him;
He gave me a good character;

1 thought his meaning dim.

He held me up; they thought
it fun!

And laughed; he chid their
glee. [on,
If he should push this matter

What will become of Me ?
He said I was a paying game,

Commending me as such.
That's the result of being
tame,

And living in a hutch.

My notion is that it is vain
For you, you Grand Old
Fella,

To rave of rabbits in the rain,
Beneath a big umbrella.

Don't let them know we fatten
best,

For this should ever be
A secret kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me !

AMONG THE BUNNIES

EGBERT'S LITTLE HOLLERDAY.

My hollerday, or sum of it, was spent in Hopen Spaces. Hif any-
body as has got two eyes in his hed, and a hart in his buzzom, wants
for to see what can be done with about 40 hakers of land—witch the
most respecfool Gardiner told me was about the size of the Queen's
Park at Kilburn—let him go there on a fine Summer's Arternoon,
and see jest about five thowsen children a playing about there, all
free, and hindependent, and appy, with two fountings to drink
when they 're ot and thirsty, and a nice littel Jim Nasyum to climb
up and down. They ain't allowed to play at Cricket coz there ain't
not room enuf, but I did see two bold littel chaps, about six a peace,
a breaking of the Law, and a playing at the forbidden game, with
a jacket for the wicket and a stick for a Bat, and the kind-arted
Gardiner hadn't got hart enufl to stop 'em.

He told me as how, when the Copperashun fust took possesshun of
it, it was nothink but a Baron Swomp, but that, what with the
spending of lots of money, and the_ souperintending genus of Major
Makbnzib, in two years it was maid to blossom like a rose. I spent
a werry plesBant arternoon there, and drove home in style on the
Box Seat of a reel Company's Bus. The nex day I went to Higate
"Wood, another of the grate works of the good old Copperashun.
And lawks, what a difference! Wo swarms of children a playing
about on the grass, but lots and lots on 'em a racing about among
the hundreds of trees, and their warious fathers and mothers a
looking on with smiling faces and prowd looks. There is one
place in the werry middle of the "Wood where no less than sewen
parths meets, and there the Copperashun Committee has bilt up
a bewtifool Founting, and a long hinskripshun in praise of "Water,
tho I shood dout if they speaks from werry much pussonal xperi-
ence. I was told as how, when they fust hopened the Founting,
the Chairman made a bewtifool speech, and ended by saying, " "Water,
brite "Water for me, and Wine for the trembling Debborshee," and
then they all went off to a jolly good dinner.

LITERATURE AND LOTTERY.

(By a Patron of the Popular
Press.)

Yes, I 've " a literary taste,"
And patronise a weekly
journal;
'Tis what is called Scissors
and Paste,
The paper's poor, the print's
infernal.
But what of that, when, week
by week,
High at the sight of it hope
rises ?

What in my Magazine I seek
Is just — a medium for
Prizes!

I can't be bothered to read
much,

I like my literature in

snippets.
My hope is, with good luck,

to clutch
Villas, gold watches, sable

tippets.

A coupon and some weekly
pence

Give me a chance of an an-
nuity.

Oh, the excitement is intense!

I read with ardent assiduity,
Not what the poor ink-spii-
lers say
In sparkling " par," or essay
solemn;
No, what I read, with triumph
gay

Or hope deferred, is—the
Prize Column!
On prose my time I seldom
waste,

And poetry is poor and pot-
tery.

But oh! I have an' ardent
taste

For Literature when linked
with Lottery!

With that artistick taste as so distinguishes 'em. they have
crissened the place where the seven roads meets, ''The Seven
Dials." There was crowds of peeple there, all enjoying of themselves
in a nice quiet way, and altogether it was a werry werry nice site.

The werry next day I started in the warm sunshine for pretty
West Ham Park, and had a leetle adwenture as ushal, for jest as
I got there who shoud I meet but the rayther sillybrated Parson of
the Parish—tho' judgin by aperiences I shoud have took him for the
Bishop of Essex—and seeing me in my new Hat and my best black
Coat, he werry naterally took me for a inquiring Wisitor, and told
me all about the good deed of the Copperashun in saving the
Park for the good of the Peeple. There was some werry little
chaps a playing Cricket as before despite of the Law, and they had
a reel bat too, and one on 'em, seeing me a looking on apruvingly,
gave the ball such a tremenjus blow that he got a tooer, so I called
out braywo!

There seemed a lot of washing going on jest outside the Park, the
white shirts and settera, flustering gaily in the breeze. But, as the
Poet says, "they're alius Washing somewheres in the World!"
The common peeple was orderd to walk on the footpaths, but a
gardiner told me as them orders was not ment for such as me. I
had a most copious Lunch for tuppense in the helegant Pawillion,
and being in a jowial and ginerus mood, I treated six of the jewwenile
natives to a simmeler Bankwet. Then there is the sillibrated Band
as the Copperashun perwides twice a week, on which occasions
reserwed seats is charged a penny each. The werry adwanced state
of the musical taste of the nayberhood may be judged by the fact,
that at a Concert close by, a " Ode to a Butterfly " was to be played
on a base Trombone!

The Gardiner told me as there was such a crowd of children on
larst Bank Hollerday that there was hardly room to move about,
tho' the Park is 80 hakers big; but as I am told that such a space
wood hold about 80 thousand, quite cumferal, I thinks as he must
have slitely xadgerated. Robekt.