Punch (99.1890)

JfoTEMMB 27, 1890.] PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 153

THE PLEASURES OF GETTING UP EARLY TO GO " CURBING.'

■HHIIili

Thorn"'"'16 1Ieet was to be at Cropper's Gorse, 5'30. At 4-30 2. After we had gone a couple of miles, a steady rain came
mpson called for me. He said he knew the way perfectly. on. I didn't think much of the beauties of early morning.

my man," said Thompson, " seen the hounds? 4. "Extraordinary thing I should have been mistaken,"
fj 19 yr°pper's Gorse, I suppose ? " " Noa, Sur; this be said Thompson. •* Never mind. Let's canter on, and we '11
PPer s Plantation. The Gorse be four miles over yonder!" see some fan yet."

son' <s-"' myboy, is this Cropper's Gorse ?" asked Thomp- 6. Then Thompson had the decency to say, "Let's go
befi„ ^oa, Bur. This be Cropper's Common. The Gorse back and have break!ast."
_ nTe miles over yonder! "

RATS IN COUNCIL.

at midVSS>1tle(ftin§: of Rats was (nnlinown to the Park-keepers) under the Reformer's Oak in Hyde Park,
Corres^T ?i ]ast Sunday- The object of the gathering was to protest against the proposal made by a
inowna wnj °^ ^te Times, that the "sewer-rats who had established themselves in the sylvan retreat"

Mr. ^'tlyde Park DeU, should be exterminated by means of "twenty ferrets and a few capable dogs."
6nthus'ia j ^eni°r) was called upon to preside. He took the hillock amid waving of tails and much
that evpSmtr' a remar^ed that he trusted that that vast assembly, one of the most magnificent demonstrations
conduct b Park had ever known, would show by its orderly behaviour, that Rats knew how to

them_+0 ?91ness> (Cheers.) They lived in strange times. A barbarous suggestion had been made to evict
and cri° them out of house and home, by means of what he might call Emergency Ferrets. (Groans,
" WTlw t -Boycott them .'") He feared that boycotting a ferret would not do much good. (A squeak—
c*rourrfst tr^ raiienin9?"~<1nd laughter.) Arbitration seemed to him the most politic course under the
("ivb m^8, yS.Cheers.) They were accused of eating young moor-chicks. "Well, was a Rat to starve?
apceaied + Iv ^ no^ a owe a ^u*y *° those dependent upon it? (Cheers, and cries of'1 Yes.'") He

aiaini of «'°-^ °P™i°n °f. the civilised world to put a stop- At this point in the Chair-rat's address, an

-fogs! " was raised, and the meeting at once dispersed in some confusion.

THE JOURNALIST-AT-ARMS.

Who would not be a Jour-

nalist-at-Arms ?
Life for that paladin hath

poignant chamis.
"Whether in pretty quarrel

he shall run
Just half an inch of rapier

—in pure fun—
In his opponent's biceps, or

shall nick
His shoulders with a slen-
der walking-stick.
The " stern j oy " of the man

indeed must rise
To raptures and heroic

ecstacies.
Oh, glorious climax of a

vulgar squabble,
To redden your foe's nose,

or make him hobble
For half a week or so, as

though, perchance,
He'd strained an ancle in a

leap or dance!
Feeble sword-play or futile

fisticuffs
Might be disdained by

warriors—or roughs;
But to the squabbling scribe

the farce has charms.
Who would not be a Jour-

nalist-at-Arms ?

"WANTED!"

ATHOROUGHLY
well appointed and
handsomely furnished
Countex Mansion (Eliza-
bethan or Jacobamn period
preferred) wanted imme-
diately. It must contain
not less than 50 bed-
rooms, appropriate recep-
tion - rooms, and a hall
capable of being utilised
for fetes and gala enter-
tainments on a large scale,
and must stand in the
midst of extensive tim-
bered grounds, surrounded
by orangeries, hot-houses,
and beautifully kept plea-
sure grounds replete with
the choicest pieces of sta-
tuary and ornamental foun-
tains arranged forelectrical
illumination, the perfect
installation of which on the
premises, on the newest
principles, is regarded as a
sine quel non by the Adver-
tiser. The shooting over
four or five hundred acres,
and the meeting of not less
than three packs of hounds
in the immediate neigh-
bourhood, with salmon and
trout fishing within easy
distance of the mansion,
are also considered indis-
pensable. Particulars as to
the surrounding country
gentry are requested.
Write also stating whether
any recognised race-meet-
ing is held in the immediate
vicinity. The distance of
the property from town,
must not be more than hair
an hour's railway journey,
and the inclusive rent must
not exceed five and twenty
shillings a week.