Punch (99.1890)

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PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVAEL

[October 4, 1890.

a feather! With Miss Ellen, Master Henby, McMaebiott,
McMeeivale, Mackintosh, Mackenzie, and Hawks McCbavens-
wood, here is a Buccess which the advancing tide of popular favour
will float till Easter or longer, and will then leave a new feather in
the cap of Master. _

SCOTT-FREE r OR, RAVENSWOOD-NOTES WILD.

ACT I.—A grand old Castle in the distanee, with foreground of j Walteb good-bye, and finishes in his own way. Last scene of; all,
rude and rugged rocks. Around the rugged rooks a quaint funeral and the loveliest. The earliest rays of the sun shining on ' the
service. Henet Ibving, "the Master" not only of Ravenswood, \ advancing tide! Caleb picks up all that is left of "Master"—
but the art of acting (as instanced
by a score of fine impersonations),
flouts the veteran comedian,
Howe; and, Howe attired? He
is in some strange garb as a non-
descript parson. Then '' Master "
(as the Sporting Times would
irreverently speak of him) solilo-
quises over Master'sf ather's coffin.
Arrival of Sir William Ashton.
Row and flashing of Bteel in torch-
light. Appearance of one lovely
beyond compare—Ellen Teket,
otherwise Lucy Ashton; graceful
as a Swan. Swan and Edgar.
Curtain.

ACT II.—Library and Armoury.
Convenient swords and loaded
blunderbusses. Lord Keeper
Ashton appears. Quite right that
there should be the Keeper pre-
sent, in view of Lucy subse-
quently goingmad. Young He nry

Ashton, the youth Goedon Ceajg, C/Z-/?

a lad of promise, and performance Mk_ Trving MAjaNQ HIS Great Hit'_ ' Tm Bull-6.Eye ,

for full two minutes, to show After such a hit-" there^ no cause for fear now <"

what he can do with a speech descriptive of some'pictures. Master
alone with Keeper, suggests duel. Why arms in Library, unless
duel ? Eight about to commence according to Queensberry rules,
when Master sees portrait. Whose? Lucy's? "No," says Master;
"not to be taken in. I know Lucy's picture; it was done by
Waed." The Keeper explains that this is a portrait, not of the
author of The History of Two Parliaments, and Fleecing Gideon,
but of his daughter Lucy, which has never yet been seen in any
exhibition or loan collection. "Oho," says Master, "then I won't
fight a chap who has a daughter like that." Ha! Mad bull "heard
without"—one of the "herd without,"—Master picks up blunder-
buss, no blunder, makes a hit and saves a miss ; i.e., Lucy. What
shall he have who kills the bull with a bull 'it ? Why, a tent at
Cowshot, near Bisley.
Next Scene.—Wolf's Crag. Grand picture — thunder — music—
^^^^ ^_ Dr. Mackenzie—Mr. Mac-

Z//' ,0^'... M storm—Miss Maeeiott ad-

/Of i % mirable as old Witch—red

'/ jZ>^/ I light in fire-grate—blank

f /f' -^jTl^^k 7"^ verse by Meeivale, and on

^f j^^^^^^^ ---^ ^ ACT III.—A Scene never

^jj^S^MHHg||^^<|^, maiden's Well (quite well,

^ Craven, ^henceforth to be

^S^SlpS^^jpP —■----; - ing vows. Master gloomy,

c7s=i~~ fflf T~~- ~ Miss lively. Miss promises

'■'rV'T-r'E& ~ to become Missus. Enter

I | |j Master's future Modern

1! M ^BL i Mother-in-law. Intended

/■ \ <^y> to be vindictive, but really

a eomIor*:able and comely

_, " ,r ' McBouncer in McBox

What Mr. Mackintosh ought to have done. ana Mc Cox. Naturally

"Balancing the Feather." An entertain- enough, off goes Master to
ment on the sands. Prance.

ACT IV.—Another splendid scene. Magnificently attired, Hayston
ofBucklaw attempts to raise a laugh. Success. Mrs. MacBouncer
coerces Lucy in white satin to sign the fatal contract that will settle
Master. Ah! that awful laugh—far more tragic than the one
secured by Bucklaw!_ It is Lucy going mad! She has already
shown signs of incipient insanity by calling Mr. Howe, otherwise
Bide-the-Bent, a "holy Father,"—much to that excellent comedian's
surprised content. Contract signed. Return of " Master." Denote-
ment must be seen to be appreciated. Here McMeeiyale bids Sir

AN EMPEROR'S WILL.

[The German Emperor is an accomplished Sportsman. He appears to be
able to biing down his birds at will.—Daily News.']

Would you like to be an Emperor, and wear a golden crown,

With fifty different uniforms for every single day;
To make the nations shudder with the semblance of a frown,
And, if BisitAECKS should oppose you, just to order them away ?
With your actions autocratic,
And your poses so dramatic;
Yours the honour and the glory, while the country pays the bill,
With your shouting sempiternal,
And your Grandmamma a Colonel,
And the power—which is best of all—to shoot your birds by will.

Then the joy of gallopading with a helmet and a sword,

While the thunder of your cannons wakes the echoes from afar.
And if, while you 're in Germany, you happen to be bored,
Why, you rush away to Russia, and you call upon the Czab.
With your wordy perorations,
And your peaceful proclamations,
While you grind the nation's manhood in your military mill.
And whenever skies look pleasant
Out you go and Bhoot a pheasant,
Or as many as you want to, with your double-barrelled will.

You can always flout your father, too—he's dead, but never mind;

He and all who dream as he did are much better in their graves.
And you cross the sea to Osborne, and, if Grandmamma be kind,
You become a British Admiral, and help to rule the waves;
With Jack Tars to say " Ay, Ay, Sir I"
To this nautical young Kaiser,
Who is like the waves he sails on, since he never can be still.
Who to every other blessing
Adds the proud one of possessing _
A gun-replacing, bird-destroying, game-bag-filling will.

" Hats Oei? ! "—Mb. Edwaed Ceosslet, M.P., is to be congratu-
lated on a narrow escape, according to the report in the Times last
week. During service in the Free Church at Brodick, some portion of
the ceiling gave way, Mr. Ceosslet was covered with plaster—better
to be covered with plaster before than after an acoident—and " his hat
was cut to pieces." From which it is to be inferred that "hats are
much worn" during Divine service in the Free Church, as in the
Synagogue. And so no fanatic can be admitted who has " a tile off."
How fortunate for Mr. E. Ceosslet that this ancient custom of the
Hebrews is still observed in the Free Kirk. Since then Mr. Ceosslet
has bought a new tile, and is, therefore, perfectly re-covered.