Punch (99.1890)

218 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 8, 1890.

THE GRAND OLD STUMPER.

"What is Fashion? 'After a Fashion has been Discai<dfd—if you have ovly Patience
to wait long enough—you will find 10uwill get back to it.' look at my collatts i—and
Umbbella I I " (See Mr. Gladstone's Speech during the recent Midlothian Campaign )

Air—" Wait a little longer.1'

There 's a good time coming, friends,

That flood is flowing stronger ;
The reigning mode in failure ends,

Wait a little longer!
Fashion is ever on the wing,

Arch-enemy of Beauty.
Now, when we get a first-rate thiDg,

To stick to it's our duty.
But no, the whirling wheel must whirl,

The zig-zag go zig-zagging;
The wig to-day must onsply curl,

That yesterday was bagging.
But good things do come " bock agen,"

For banishment but stronger
(With bonnets or with Grand Old Men),
Wait a little longer!

From Eighty ur.to Eighty-Five

These collars were the rage, ii-iexdi;
Didn't we keep the game alive,

In spite of creeping age, friends ?
But oh, that horrid Eighty-Six 1

They deemed me fairly settled,
As though just ferried o er the St.) x,

But I was tougher mettled.
I knew the fashion would return

For just this size of collar.
(And that's a lesson they '11 soon learn,

Tou bet your bottom dollar.)
Bless you, I'm "popping up again,"

For four years' fighting stronger.
Onoe more I'm here to fire the train—
a.t>ti-.u Wait a little longer!

I've told you all about Balfotjb,
And his black Irish scandals ;

(With side-lights upon days of yore,
My bachelor life, and candles.)

I've touched on Disestablishment
([ trust you'll not say thinly),

Oil Eight Hours Bills a speech I've
spent.

And scarified M Kinley.
And now, to wind up, I '11 explain

My favourite views on Fashion :
Big Collars will come back again ! ! !

'Twill raise the Tories' passion.
But, with these Collars, this Um-
brella,

I'd face them, though thrice
stronger!

Friends—trust once more your Grand
Old Fella,
And—wait a leetle longer!

A BOOTH1TUL IDEA!

Just finished my article on "Ante-
diluvian Archaeology in its relation
to Genesis and the Iliad," and now
all that remains to do is to carry the
rest of my books down to the new
library, make catalogue, consider
subjects for five more speeches, write
thirty-six letters and postcards, and
polish off the ten last clauses of the
Home-Rule Bill. This idleness is
oppressive. Not used to it. What
shall I do ?

Piles of correspondence by morning
post 1 What can this be about ? Ah!
t remember now ! Nineteenth Cen-
tury juit out, of course. Glad I
thought of starting " Society of Uni-
versal Beneficence." Will keep me
eoing after excitement of Midlothian.
Wonder how many people will " bind
hemselves to give away a fixed pro-
portion of their income,"—also what
i he proportion will be, if they do.
Don't know if I should have thought
of it, if it hadn't been for General
Booth's book. Remarkable person,
the General. Perhaps he'd order
his Army to vote solid for Home
Rule, if I offered him a place in my
next Cabinet ? Must sound him on
the subject. Salvationists quite a
power now. Can't cut Field-Marshal
Von Booth up in a Magazine, so
must cut him out instead !

Ha! Letter from Labouchehe, of
all people. H—m ! Sayshe's "glad
to see I've started Universal Bene-
ficence Sooiety. Thought of doing
s j himself once." Congratulates me
on turning my attention to "Social
Reform." Says he thinks it's an
" Ecclesent idea,"—he must mean
" Excellent," surely !

" Inquirer "—(post-mark,Hatfield.
Curious circumstance, rather)—writes
to ask for details of the Society.
"Prefers at present to remain anony-
mous," but an answer sent to "S.,
Hatfield House," will always find
him I Meanwhile, encloses postal
order for one pound ten shillings a
" fixed proportion of his income,"
as he sees that I've " offered to
make myself the careful reoipient
of any assents," by which he sup-
poses that I mean cash. A little
embarrassing!_

Take stroll in Park to collect my
thoughts. Find two leading Belfast
linen-merchants busily gathering up
sawdust, &c, round tree I felled
yesterday. They explain that they' ve