Punch (99.1890)

234

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 15, 1890.

A LAMENT FROM THE NORTH.

" And then the Weathee's been so bad, Donald I"

"Ou ay, Sir. Only Thkee Fine Days—and Twa of them snappit up by the Sawbath I"

THE LAIOLY WORM" OF LONDON;

Or, The Great Slum Dragon and Little Master
County Council.

[" The "Worm (at first neglected) grew till it was
too large for its habitation. ... It became the
terror of the country, and, among other enormities,
levied a daily contribution ... in default of
which it would devour both man and beast. . . .
Young Lambton was extremely shocked at wit-
nessing the effects of his youthful imprudence, and
immediately undertook the adventure."—Legend
of " The Lambton Worm," as related by Surtees.]

Old stories tell how Hercules

At Lerna slew a " Dragon; "
And the "Lambton Worm" (told by Sue-
tees)

The Durham men still brag on.
How the "Laidly Worm" was made to
squirm

Old legends tell (they can't lie!);
And of Moee, of More-hall, when, "with
nothing at all,"
He slew the Dragon of Wantley.

Our Dragon here is a bigger beast

Than Lambton slew, or Moee did ;
On poor men's bodies he doth feast,

And ill-got gold long hoarded.
He hath iron claws, and from his jaws

Foul fumings are emitted.
The folks, his prey, who cross Ms way,

Are sorely to be pitied.

Have you not heard how the Trojan horse

Held seventy men inside him ?
This Dragon's bigger, and of such force

That none may rein or ride him.

Men hour by hour he doth devour,
And would they with him grapple,

At one big sup he'll gobble them up,
As schoolboys munch an apple.

All sorts of prey this Dragon doth eat;

But his favourite food's poor people,
But he'd swallow a city, street by street,

From cottage to church steeple.
Like the Worm of Wear, this Dragon drear,

Hath grown, and grown, and grown, Sir,
And many a lair of dim despair

The Worm hath made its own, Sir.

In Bethnal Green our Laidly Worm

Hath made a loathly den,
And there hath fed for a weary term

On the bodies and souls of men.
There doth it writhe, and ramp, and glower,

Whilst in its coils close prest [Power,"
Are the things it thrives on—" Landlord

And " Vested Interest."

Now, who shall tackle this Dragon bold ?

Lo! a champion appears.
He seems but small, and he looks not old—

A youth of, scarce three years.
But "he hath put on his coat of mail,

Thick set with razors all,"
And a blade as big as a thresher's flail,

On that Dragon's crest to fall.

And like young Lambton, or young Moee,

He to the fight advances.
Tet looks to that Slum Dragon o'er,

With caution in his glances.
If he make shift that sword to lift,

And smite that Dragon dead,
No hero young song yet hath sung

A fouler pest hath sped.

Now guard ye, guard ye, young County C.!

That two-edged blade is big, Sir!
That Dragon's so spiky, he well might be

" Some Egyptian poroupig," Sir,
(As the singer of Wantley's Dragon says,

In his quaint and curious story.)
If this Dragon he slays, he shall win men's

And legendary glory. [praise,

When London's streets are haunts of health

(Ah! happy if distant, when)
And the death-rate ruleth low, and Wealth

Feeds not on the filthy den;
The men to this champion's memory

Shall lift the brimming flagon,
And drink with glee to young County O,

Who slew the Grim Slum Dragon!

A " Daek Continent" Hint.—Mr. Stan-
ley, it is said, now wishes he had gone on
his exploration journey quite alone, without
any travelling Teoup. It is a curious fact,
but worth mentioning here, that, up to now,
the only mention of difficulties with a "Tra-
velling Troupe" is to be found in a little
shilling book recently published by Messrs.
Teischlee & Co., at present nearing its fifty
thousandth copy, entitled, A New Light
thrown across the Darkest Africa. Whether
H. M. Stanley will appeal to this as evidence
remains to be seen. We must have the whole
truth out about Stanley's Hear Column
before we rear a column to Stanley.

The " Nobfolk Bboads," according to the
Standard, are in future to be the English
cradle of the German " Bass." Not beer, but
fish. There are to be " no takers " at present,
so the cradle will not be a Bass-in-net.