Punch (99.1890)

242

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 22, 1890.

VOCES POPULI.

At a Sale of High-
Class Sculpture.

Scene—An upper
floor in a City
Warehouse; a low,
whitewashed room,
dimly lighted by
dusty windows and
two gas-burners in
wire cages. Around
the walls are ranged
several statues of
meek aspect, but
securely confined in
wooden cases, like
a sort of marble
menagerie. In the
centre, a labyrin-
thine grove of pedes-
tals, surmounted by
busts, groups, and
statuettes by modern
Italian masters.
About these pedes-
tals a small crowd
— consisting of
Elderly Merchants
on the look out for
a "neat thing in
statuary" for the
conservatory at
Croydon or Mus-
well Hill, Young
City Men who have
dropped in after
lunch, Disinterested
Dealers, Uphols-
terers' Buyers,
Obliging Brokers,
and Grubby and
Mysterious men—is
cautiously circulat-
ing.

Obliging Broker {to
Amiable Spectator,
who has come in out
of curiosity, andwith-
out the remotest inten-
tion of purchasing
sculpture). No Catlog, Sir? 'Ere, allow me to orfer'you mine-
that 's my name in pencil on the top of it, Sir ; and, if you should
'appen to see any lot that takes your fancy, you jeftt ketch my eye.
(Beassuringly.) I shan't he fur ofl. Or look 'ere, gimme a nudge—
J shall know what it means.

[The A. S. thanks him profusely, and edges away with an inward

vow to avoid his and the Auctioneer's eyes, as he would those

of a basilisk.

* Auctioneer (from desk, with the usual perfunctory fervour). Lot
13, Gentlemen, very charming pair of subjects from child life—"The
Pricked Finger" and " The Scratched Toe "—by Bimbi.

A Stolid Assistant {in shirtsleeves), diggers 'ere, Gen'lm'n!

[ Languid surge of crowd towards them.

A Facetious Bidder. Which of 'em's the finger, and which the
toe ?

Auct. (coldly). I should have thought it was easy to identify by
the attitude. Now, Gentlemen, give me a bidding for these very
finely-executed works by Bimbi. Make any offer. "What will you
give me for 'em ? Both very sweet things, Gentlemen. Shall we say
ten guineas ?

A Grubby Man. Give yer five.

Auct. (with grieved resignation). Very well, start 'em at five. Any
advance on five ? (To Assist.) Turn 'em round, to show the back
view. And a'arf! Six! And a 'arf! Only six and a 'arf bid for
this beautiful pair of figures, done direct from nature by Bimbi.
Come, Gentlemen, come! Seven! Was that you, Mr. Gbimes ?
(The Grubby Man admits the soft impeachment.) Seven and a 'arf.
Eight! It's against you.

Mr. Grimes (with a supreme effort). Two-and-six!

[Mops his brow with a red cotton handkerchief.

Auct. (in a tone of gratitude for the smallest mercies). Eight-
ten-six. All done at eight-ten-six ? Going . . . gone! Gbimes,
Eight, ten, six. Take money for 'em. Now we come to a very
'andsome work by Piefalini—" The Ocarina Player," one of this

NEW EDITION OF ROBA Dl ROMER.'

With Mr. Punch's sincere congratulations to his Old Friend the New Judge.

great artist's master-
pieces, and an exceed-
ingly choice and
high-class work, as
you will all agree
directly you see it.
(To Assist.) Now,
then, Lot 14, there—
look sharp!

Stolid Assist. "Ho-
carina Plier," eyn't
arrived, Sir.

Auct. Oh, hasn'tit?
Very well, then. Lot
15. " The Pretty
Pill-taker," by Anto-
nio Bilio — a really
magnificent work of
Art, Gentlemen.
(" Pill-taker, 'ere!"
from the S. A.)
What '11 you give me
for her ? Come, make
me an offer. (Bidding
proceeds till the "Pill-
taker " it knocked
down for twenty-
three - and - a - half
guineas.) Lot 16," The
Mixture as Before,"
by same artist—make
a charming and suit-
able companion to the
last lot. What do you
say, Mr. Middleman
— take it at the same
bidding ? (Mr. M.
assents, with the end
of one eyebrow.) Any
advance oh twenty-
three and a 'arf ?
None? Then,—Mid-
dleman, Twenty-
four, thirteen, six.

Mr. Middleman (to
the Amiable Spectator,
who has been vaguely
inspecting the " Pill-
taker.") Don't know
if you noticed it, Sir,
_ but I got that last
~ [ [ couple very cheap—

on'y forty-seven guineas the pair, and they are worth eighty, I
solemnly declare to you. I could get forty a-piece for 'em to-morrow,
upon my word and honour, I could. Ah, and I know who'd give
it me for 'em, too!

The A. S. (sympathetically). Dear me, then you've done very
well over it.

Mr. M. Ah, well ain't the word—and those two aren't the only
lots I've got either. That " Sandwich-Man " over there is mine-
look at the work in those boards, and the nature in his clay pipe;
and " The Boot-Black," that's mine, too—all worth twice what I
got 'em for—and lovely things, too, ain't they ?

The A. S Oh, very nice, very clever—congratulate you, I'm sure.

Mr. M. I can see you ve took a fancy to 'em, Sir, and, when I
come across a gentleman that's a connysewer, I'm always sorry to
stand in his light; so, see here, you can have any one you like out o'
my little lot, or all on 'em, with all the pleasure in the wide world,
Sir, and I '11 on'y charge you five per cent, on what I gave for 'em.
and be exceedingly obliged to you, into the bargain, Sir. (The A. S.
feebly disclaims any desire to take advantage of this magnanimous
offer.) Don't say No, if you mean Yes, Sir. Will you 'ave the
" Pill-taker," Sir ?

The A. S. (politely). Thank you very much, but—er—I think not.

Mr. M. Then perhaps you could do with " The Little Boot-
Black," or " The Sandwich-Man" Sir?

The A. S. Perhaps—but I could do still better without them.

[He moves to another part of the room.

The Obi. Broker (whispering beerily in his ear). Seen anythink

yet as takes your fancy, Sir; 'cos, if so-

[The A. S. escapes to a dark comer—where he is warmly
welcomed by Mr. Middleman.

Mr. M. Knew you'd think better on it, Sir. Now which is it to
be—the " Boot-Black," or " Mixture as Before" f

Auct. Now we come to Lot 19. Massive fluted column in coral marble
with revolving-top—a column, Gentlemen, which will speak for itself.