Punch (99.1890)

264 PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 29, 1890.

IN OUR GARDEN.

Monday, November 24.

habmed to have a visit
from Old Morality to-
day. Most kind of Mm
to find time to run down,
seeing all lie has on hand.
But he's a really good
fellow, of the kind who
in all circumstances find
time to do a friendly
thing. Always from the
first taken a friendly
interest in our little ex-
periment. He is, indeed,
indirectly personally re-
sponsible for its under-
taking. If I hadn't come
across him playing leap-
frog before dinner with
Akebs - Douglas _ and
Jackson, as mentioned
some -weeks ago, Saek
and I would never have tried this way of passing a Recess.

Hadn't heard Old Mobality was going to look in. Expect he wasn't
sure he could get away from Cabinet Council, and so didn't write. When
I came upon him he was standing absorbed in contemplation of Abpach-
shad. Abpachshad, himself, so engrossed in problem occupying his mind,
that he did not notice our visitor. Had started yesterday cutting grass
on lawn with machine. Getting on pretty well with it till, this morning,
wind rose, blowing half a gale from Westward. Abpachshad discovered
that, starting with machine from the Westward, he, with wind blowing
astern, got on capitally; but coming back, with wind ahead, there was
decided addition to labour of propelling machine. When Old Mobality
arrived, Abpachshad had halted midway across the lawn, and was
looking Westward with air of profound and troubled cogitation.

" I know what he's thinking of," said Old Mobality, whose Parlia-
mentary experience has made him an adept at thought-reading; he's
wondering if it's possible to mow the lawn all from the Westward, so
that he would have the wind behind him throughout the operation."

No doubt Old Mobality had fathomed depth of Abpachshad's medi-
tations. Pretty to see his manoeuvring: Went down full-sail with
assistance of favouring gale; tried to tack back, bearing away to the
North; when he'd got a little way, slewed round to the West, going off
before the wind to edge of lawn. Finally borne in upon him that the
position was inexorable. He couldn't go with the wind all the time;
must retrace his steps; by tacking was really covering more ground than
need be ; was, in fact, doing more work than he had intended. Shocked
at this discovery proceeded to follow ordinary course. Presently catching
sight of solitary leaf careering down walk, fetched broom, and tenderly
tickled the gravel in pursuit of the leaf.

"There is," Saek sharply observed, " nothing Abpachshad enjoys more
than dusting the walk with a broom. It is a process that combines the
maximum of appearance of hard work with the minimum of exertion."

Old Mobality pretty lively in anticipation of Session, which opens to-
morrow. Always inclined to take sanguine view of situation. Doesn't
vary now. " Oh, you leave it to us, Toby, dear hoy." he said, when I
expressed hope that he would not risk his precious life and health by
overdoing it. " We've got a splendid programme, and mean to pull
through every Bill. Didn't do much last year, it is true: but don't you
see the advantage of that ? If we'd passed all our Bills last Session,
must have arranged a new programme this year, involving considerable
labour. As it is we turn a handle, and there are all the old things once

more; homely and[friendly; as the poet says, ' All, all, are
come, the old familiar faces.' There's the Irish Local Govern-
ment Bill, the Tithes Bill, Employers' Liability, and a troop of
others. All been brought in before ; everybody knows about
them; if we don't pass them this Session they must come up
again next."

" Ha! " said Saek ; " so there is to be a next Session."

"Certainly," said Old Moeality—"and we would have
another, if we could. In fact, I'm not quite sure whether it
may not be managed. We are always suspending Standing
Orders, of one kind or another. It is a Standing Order of the
Constitution that no Parliament shall sit longer than seven
years. Very good—in an ordinary way, excellent; though,
perhaps, a little too liberal in its arrangements when Mr. G. is
in power. But as you, Toby, may, in earlier years, diligently
striving after improvement in caligraphy, have had occasion to
note, Circumstances alter Cases. Here we are, a contented
Government, with a Parliamentary majority always to be relied
upon. Why disturb an ordered state of affairs, and plunge the
country into the turmoil and expense of a General Election ?
Why not bring in a short Bill to suspend the Septennial Act,
and let the present Parliament go on sitting indefinitely ? Why
should the Long Parliament remain a monopoly of the Seven-
teenth Century ? I do not mind telling you (this, of course, in
confidence) that we have talked the matter over in the Cabinet.
It was the Mabkiss who first started it; and, though one or two
objections have been raised, the idea is rather growing upon us,
and I should not wonder if it came to something. Tou will
find no mention of it in the Queen's Speech—but that is neither
there nor here."

"I have noticed," said Sark, "that of late it has happened
that Bills mentioned in the Queen's Speech come to nothing,
whilst the Sessionislargely taken up with discussion of Bills which
find no place in that catalogue. Last year, for example, Jokim's
Compensation Bill wasn't mentioned in the Queen's Speech; and
yet it filled a large part in the programme of the Session."

"Ah," said Old Moeality, changing the subject, "I see
Abpachshad has nearly come up with that leaf. He '11 be going
to his dinner now, I suppose, and I think I must be off. Shall
see you at the House to-morrow. Sorry for you to break up the
associations of your rural life ; but that only temporary."

Saw Old Moeality off at the station. Came back to pack
up our spade and hoe, and leave some general instructions with
Abpachshad. He seems much touched at the approaching sepa-
ration. Quite unable to continue the lawn-mowing. Followed
us about with his jack-knife open, clipping here and there a
dead stem, so as to keep up an appearance of incessant labour.

" Ours is only a change of occupation, Abpachshad," said
Saek. "We cease to labour here, but we carry on our work in
another field. We go to town, leaving, as the Poet Gray might
have said, the garden to solitude and you."

"Excuse me, Gents," said Abpachshad, a look of anxiety
crossing his mobile face, "but you can't leave it to me alto-
gether. I could manage well enough when you were here, helpin'
and workin'. But, when you're gone, I '11 have to have at least
one extry man." Saek pleased at this testimony to value of our
assistance; but it really means that Abpachshad intends to do
less than ever, running us into the expense of a second gardener.

PARS ABOUT PICTURES.
Abbive at Fine Art Society's Place, and there look at
Hokusai's drawings and engravings. Who was Hokusai?

Why, don't you know ? He was our
own Lika-Joko's great-grandfather.
" Great-grandfather was a most won-
derful man, There's none of 'em does
what great-grandfather can," except
Lika Joko, of course. Obliged to say
this, because I know Lika Joko goes
about with a Daimio's two-handed
sword, and he would think nothing of
giving me the cut direct. But to re-
turn to Hokusai—sounds like sneezing
in a Dutch dialect, doesn't it?—his
drawings are full of originality and
humour; he was possessed of wondrous
versatility and great industry. He
began to draw at six, and continued
till he was well-nigh ninety. Were he
flourishing now, he mieht illustrate the lucubrations of

Yours par-tially. Old Par.

" Up above the World so High 1"—See Mr. Punch Among
the Planets—ids Christmas Number. In spite of its title, it is
not " over the heads of the People," Look out below !

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