Punch (99.1890)

276

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 6, 1890.

ever heard of Eltham, of alarums and 'excursions, of exits by fire-
escapes, and entrances by back doors.

Thinking of these things, I was standing by Sergeant-at-Arms'
chair ; heard a scuffling noise behind ; looked round, and lo! there
was Paenell entering House by Distinguished Strangers' Gallery,
descending by swarming
down the end pillar, which
supports Gallery from floor
of House.

'' Good gracious!" I cried.
" "What are you doing ? " N

" I'm catching the last
post," said Paenell, smil-
ing blandly, as, reaching
the floor, he unclasped arms
and legs from the pillar
and quietly walked oyer to
his ordinary place as if this
were the usual way of an
Hon. Member approaching
his seat.

Direful news rapidly spre
Paenellnot going to retire from *^fi§fflP|fi^ j^U£J'a.£'' _ on Tuesday, thought he would relieve
Leadership! On contrary, meant WfflMsS "~-l$F^TZ-—-~ them of difficulty by forthwith resign-
to stay, ignoring little events "H *=4 ^a,, ing. Mr. P. doesn't take that view;
brought to light in the Divorce MzMm\f& i thinks it would be rude, after having
Court. Ministerialists jubilant; MM^pLWM ip been unanimously elected, to appear to
Liberals depressed; the whole fM^^W^IW^X"' undervalue such remarkable, spon-
situation changed; prospects of WmlmiiuUBmM i I taneous act of confidence ; doesn't care

Liberal supremacy, so certain yes- \/^^^Xr^S \'' I_ ' a raP f°r Pu°lie opinion.

terday, suddenly blighted; talk of ^SSfR/Jis "~°t*~ SMls' et J'V res^e" he says, s

Mr. G. retiring from the fray ; w^^U^F —3--' 8miling sweetly round the table, where ^sf||p^''

spoke on Address just now, but no *nWPm n^8 friends forlornly sit.

fight left in him; the Opposition WmSS^ "Begorra!" says Mr. O'Keee, in- Mr. P-rn-11 turns his Back on

wrung out like a damp cloth; even Pff^^ dignantly, "it's bad enough to have PuMlc Opinion.

Geobge Campbell dumb, and /A || Mm ruining us and the counthry, without using blasphaymious

Dr. Claek indefinitely postponed rL_ W II language."

Amendment long threatened. By w/r wf Business done.—Everything on the paper.

matter, and here's all the work done and the House up. It's
absolutely demoralising; portends something uncanny. On Tuesday
we got through the Address in a single
short sitting; yesterday, after meeting
at noon, had to adjourn for three hours
and a half ; filled up remainder of time
with bringing in Bills; To-day we have
an Irish Land Bill brought in and read
a First Time, after a Debate confined
to Sage op Queen Anne's Gate, and
Wilfeid Lawson. Nothing like it
seen for sixteen years. If this kind of
thing goes on, you know, we '11 get all
the work of the Session done in three
months, and perhaps done better than
when it took nine. It's the suddenness
that knocks me over, Toby. They
ought to be more considerate, and begin
more gently."

Great commotion in Irish circles.
Scene slightly shifted. It seems that
Irish Members in re-electing Paenell

ten o'clock the whole thing had
flickered out. Address, which of
late has taken three weeks to pass,
agreed to in three hours.

Mr. G. went off as soon as Old
Moeality had finished his modest
speech. Walked with him across
the Park to Carlton Terrace.
Haven't seen him to speak to since
Midlothian. What a change! Up a Tree.

Then elate, confident, energetic,

tingling with life to his finger-ends; to-night shrunken, limp, des-
pondent, almost heart-broken.

" Don't you think, Sir," I said, " that, after to-day's experience,
Home Rule has a new terror ? You remember how, seven or
eight years ago, the Irish Members used to stand up in the House
and personally vilify you. Then, when you came round to their
side, the very same men beslabbered you with fulsome adulation.
Now, when there is another parting of the ways, when you pit your-
self, your authority, and your character, against their chosen Leader,
they rudely turn their backs on you, and tell yon to mind your own
business. How'11 it be, do you think, when you've finally served
their purpose, and made possible the accomplishment of their
aim ? "When you have made them Masters in Dublin, will they care
any more for the views and prejudices of you and your Liberal
Party than they have done to-day ? "

"Toby, dear boy," said Mr. G., "you're a young dog _ yet.
"When you come to my age, you'll have learned that there is no
gratitude in politics. But we won't talk of it any more. I'm a
little tired to-night."

So we walked in silence up the steps, by the Duke of Yobk's
Column.

Business done.—Address agreed to.] |Mr. P. flouts Mr. G.

Thursday.—House up at twenty minutes to" Six, having got
through rattling lot of business. Prince Arthur been sailing up
and down floor, bringing in Land Bills and Railway Bills, Hicks-
Beach depressed with legacy of Tithes Bill.

"Cheerup, Beach," says Ceanboene, tagging at his moustache
d la Geandolph; "you may depend upon me. Keep your eye on
your young friend, and. he will pull you through."

" Thank you," said Beach, with something more than his customary
ffusive manner.

Jackson toying round the table, packing and unpacking papers,
looking at his watch and the clock, vaguely whistling, and absently
rubbing his hands.

" What's the matter ? " I asked. "You seem out of sorts."

"MatterI" he cried. "Why, twenty minutes to Six is the

Friday Night. — Louis
Jennings _ made capital
speech to-night on Motion
challenging commutation of
certain perpetual pensions.
Seems, among other little
jobs, we, the tax-payers of
Great Britain, with Income-
tax at sixpence in the pound,
have been paying pension of
£2,000 a year to descendant of the late
Ellen Gwynne. Select Committee ap-
pointed by present Government to con-
sider whole matter, recommended that
no pension should he commuted at rate
so high as twenty-seven years' purchase.
Jokiji, generous with other people's
money, flies in face of recommendation,
and comfortably rounds off one or two
of these little jobs with gratuity of
twenty-seven years' purchase. Cheer-
ful to hear this sort of thing denounced
in breezy fashion from Conservative
Benches. Jennings, amid loud cheers,
bits straight out from the shoulder.
"Waltee Fosterquite delighted. "Bless
" Bless-you-my-child !" you, my child," he says, " you ought to
belong to the Radical Party." Business done.—Agreed that, up to
Christmas, Government shall have all the time.

Cheistmas Cabds. — "Here we are again!" as they come
tumbling in, fresh from the hands of the publishers, Hildesheimee
and Faulkneb. More artistie than ever!

A New Bank op England Note.—" The force o' this 'ere obser-
vation lies in the Barings of it."— Cap1 en Cuttle adapted.

Peobable Publication.— Cm-rect to a Shade. (A book ef ghostly
counsel.) By the Author of Betrayed hy a Shadow.

"Woeldly-wise Motto foe the "Weanglees about "Daekest
Aebica."—" Keep it Dark! "__

Anglo-Fbench Motto poe a Thoeoughly Rainy Day.—"Pour
Toujours."

A Journalistic City.—Pressburg.

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