Punch (99.1890)

300 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 20, 1890,

PHILLALOO !

A Song of " United Ireland."
Aie :—" Killaloe."
Well, I'm glad that I was bom
In the land the Sassenach scorn,

For its fondness for a first-class Phillaloo.
Faix! Home Rule's a purthy schame,
And on Thursday Parnell came
To insthruct us how to floor the 1' Pathriot"
crew.

I'd one Leader, that I swear, _
Now there's siveral " in the air,"
And it sthrikes me I've a doubt which one
is thrue ;
But whin things are out of jint,
To decide the tickle pint,
Faith! there's nothing like a first-class
Phillaloo!

Chorus.

Te may talk about McCarthy,

As a leader sane and hearthy,

For to lead the " Pathriot" parthy;

Bnt ochone ! and wirrasthrue!
It seems anything but aisy
(Ask Dick Power and Misther Deast)
To lead for long
A parthy strong
Widout a Phillaloo 1

Parnell wiped Bodkin's eye,
And of all his toype " made pie."

O'Brien telegraphed wid much surprise ;
And brave Dillon " over there,"
Seemed disposed to tear his hair,

And Tay Pay inclined to pipe his pathriot
eyes.

Said Bodkin, with alarm,

" This will do the paper harm,"

Said Leahy, "I'm appointed to your
Thin on a float or dray [place."
They the papers sint away,

And scatthered all the Staff, and closed the
case.

Chorus—Yd may talk of J. M'Carthy, &e.

Och, bhoys, there was the fun!
But the game was far from done.
United Ireland did not yet appear ;

For whilst Nagle had stepped out,
Bodkin came wid comrades stout,

And a hamper, which was packed with
Parnell swore an awful oath [bottled beer.
He'd have law agin 'em both,

And he came irom Kenny's house in Hut-
land Square;
And he raised a Phillaloo
With the aid of followers true, [chair.

And replaced the valiant Leamy in the
Chorus.—Ye may talk of J. M'Carthy, &c.

To it feet and fists they wint,

As though foighting agin rint, [plext;

Says the Sassenach, "By golly, I'm per-
For when pathriots, don't ye see,
Foight like schoolboys on a spree,

Why, ye niver know what they '11 be up to
There seems little to be said ; [next.
Let each break the other's head:

I '11 mix no more in pathriot affairs.
Ere that paper shall appear,
Many an Oirish head and ear

Must be ' closed for alterations and re-
pairs.' "

Chorus.—Y& may talk of J. McCarthy, &c.

" If to help poor Pat you'd try,
Or would raise the Home Rule cry,

And change the Constitution—just for fun;
There's one thine- ye've got to do,—
Just prepare for Phillaloo,

For the Pats will raise it—every mother's
It may be very fine, _ [son.
Pat's no enemy of mine,

But, as I think, ye '11 aisily suppose.
Whatever line we take
Peace is mighty hard to make, [nose!"

When ' United Ireland' punches its own

Chorus.

Te may talk about McCarthy,
As a pathriot pure and healthy,
For to lead the Home-Rale Parthy,

And to keep the Liberals thrue.
But it's anything but aisy
(Ask Dick Power and Misther Deasy)
To rule the Pats
(Those fighting cats)
Widout a Phillaloo!

A STUDY PROM THE LIFE.

{Prophetically communicated by an Interviewer of the Future.)

Having to describe the person and abode of the Poet Podgers, I
cannot do better than jot down in my note-book what I know abont
those objects on my road to the abode of genius—otherwise, 126.
Bolingbroke Square, South Belgravia. That useful work, Men of
the Time, tells me that the Poet was educated
at Westminster and Christ Church — facts
that in themselves suggest a column of copy
about Football at Vincent Square, the mys-
teries of Seniors, Juniors, and Second Elec-
tion, and the glories and humours of Tom's
Quad. Not much trouble about that. So
far, plain sailing. Bolingbroke Square, too,
helps one along. Historical reminiscences,
Pimlico in time of Romans, ditto Normans,
ditto when Elizabeth was ftueen. All this
can be worked up comfortably and conve-
niently in the Reading Room of the British
Museum. Then the Podgers' family history
should give a good third. Father made a
fortune in blacking, so daresay he recollects his
grandfather. No doubt latter settled in London
with the employment of junior office-sweeper,
and the capital of an eleemosynary half-crown. Need not trouble
about the Heraldic Visitations, or the coat and crest. Keep those
items for an interview characterised more by " blood" than " brains."
Suppose he has received presentation copies of works of poetical
rivals. This will give an opportunity for introducing contemporary
biographical sketches, varying from three lines to half a column.
Know his house, too—once occupied by a foreign fiddler, next a
Cabinet Minister, lastly, a successful artist, hints (if required) for
scenes on the Continent, in Parliament, and the Royal Academy.
Wife and children. Domestic scene—good for two-thirds. Wife
playing piano as the children spin their tops, or gambol with Collie
dog. There now, I think I have got enough material for the present.
And here we are at Bolingbroke Square, South Kensington.

What's this I Podgers' servant says Podgers declines to see
literary gents! He won't he interviewed!

Won]t he! With my materials, soon arrange about that.' After
all, seeing him was only an empty form!

Tell Cabman to drive back to my house—Butterfly Gardens. He
doesn't know it! On second thoughts, he says he supposes I mean
" the place that used to be called Grub Street r " Yes, I do!

CHRISTMAS AND CLEOPATRA.

Mr. Clement Scott, in his most useful "column of theatrical
information in the Daily Telegraph, told us last Friday, that the
Princess's Theatre is now "heated by a new process," which must
mean the exceptionally warm reception
given every evening to Mrs. Langtry as
Cleopatra. In this favourable sense of
the phrase, " She gets it hot all round,"
and the public assists in "making it
warm" for her, in return for her making it
warm for them. The more than Cltment
Scott writes of "extra rows of stalls,"
and of "money being turned away on
account of the success of Antony and
Cleopatra."*~Bra.vol "0 Tare for Antony."'
and O most rare for Egypt's fairest
daughter! Of course when the money is "turned away," more
money is admitted. Great thing for a theatre when all the boxes
are money-boxes, and the pit a gold-mine. Those who are allowed
to enter will not complain of being "let in," unless they object to
being " let in for a good thing."

With its ballets and splendid mise-en-scene, and its splendid
"Missis-en-scene," too, "There would seem no reason," continues
the generous Scott, " why Antony and Cleopatra should not be
regarded as what is euphemistically (a deuce of a word this) known
as a ' Christmas Piece.' " By all means. Be it so. Will the fair
Manageress take the hint, and announce a grand Transformation
Scene for Boxing Night, with the pantomimic cast thus distributed:
— Harlequin, Colonel Antony Coghlan ; Coumbine, Mrs. Cleo-
patra Langtry; Pantaloon, Mr. Bnobahbus Stirling; and
Clown— a real " Shakspearian Clown," by Mr. Eyerill. who, in
spite of his name, we hope will continue Ever-well, and be able to
indulge the public with the good old classic song, "Poma Calida."
Mr. Clement Scott, at this inclement season, has hit on a first-Tate
notion, of which, no doubt, Queen Cleopatra will avail herself, if
necessary.

A Christmas Par.—At this season we must mention Crackers,
that's the truth—and we can't let 'em off. Sparagnapane's
Jewelled Crackers are A 1, and that's truth and no cracker.
While on the subject of Crackers, we are prepared for the question,
What next P and are equally prepared with the echoing reply
"Ward next,"—with his dainty confeotions in artistic cards and
I booklets.

NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case he returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper, lo this nU«
there will be no exception.