Punch: Punch (101.1891)

July 4, 1891.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

3

OFF TO MASHER LAND.

{By Our Own Grandolph.)
(FLEST LETTER—A.)
1.—From Paddington to the first comma is a comparatively slight
stop.

Left Paddington. Was compelled to leave Paddington, as train
started from that station. '' The Great "Western! " What boundless
ideas are suggested by this title, &c, &c. {This part I'll send to
Daily Graphic.)

Reasons fob. the Journey.
Well, never mind my reasons. I had made up my mind to go.

3Iarlbrook s'enva fen guerre" mais as Harl-

brook Junior I
may say, '' Je
r eviendrai.''
Politics to the
winds ! or, col-
loquially. Poli-
tics be blowed!
T'm off to Tom

T i d d l e r,' s

ground. Nice
fellow, Tid-
dler. Knew
him years ago.
He is now a
Limited Com-
pany, "Tid-
dler & Co."

The Composi-
tion of the
Party.

"Well, you
know what it
was once upon
a time. There
was A Balfour
— beg pardon,
should say,
The Balfour

Where are we now ?

En route, called on the Bey of Biscay. Found him in amiable
temper—not a bit rough. Lisbon delightful. Chatsworth not in it
with the smallest flower-and-kitchen garden here. Dined at the
"Brag"—short for Braganza. Suddenly inspired—wrote drinking
song :—

Sancho Panza

At Braganza,

Quaffed no end of cup,

But Bon Quixit

Said " Don't mix it-
Let us go and sup."

Have composed my own music to this—call it my musical cup-yright.
Shan't publish it, for fear of pirates. No other rates at sea, except
pi-rates, and the rate we 're now going at—i.e., two knots an hour,
and ties pay the dealer. Hoorah ! I enclose portrait of self after the
above symposium, carried round the town to the air of "Please

The Fifth of November anticipated in Quite Mad-eira.

to Peme?nber,,, &c. Too Novembery perhaps, but everything too
previous here, and it's summer even in winter, and winter's
nowhere, except in some other places. This is the meteorological or
—and Drummy '• logical rule, the " Summa Lex." Look at my bearers ! These are
Wolffy and I nea(^s °f the people, eh ? Carried round town in triumph, and then
Be Gorstibus ' ^ack t° tne sm!P> which I now look upon as my native place, or the
non disputan- Iand °f ""J heyth !

dum ("no ar- "Once more aboard the Lugger!

guing with Gorst "), and self. As good a quartette, though I say it ( Here we are, off the Cape of [.Good Hope. Hope, as you know,
who shouldn't, as ever sat down to a concerted piece, with myself as was a worthy Admiral who dis-
First Fiddle. But now—" Where am dat barty now ? "—I don't know covered this place; he is men-
if I quote correctly ; quoting correctly is not my forte. " Dat barty," | tioned by the poet as having done
suggests Wolff ; he was the " barty" of our party, in the merry
days of old. Now—none of 'em here, and I with my ink-stand
before me, a pencil, a pen, note-books galore, and any amount of
foolscap, represent " the composition" of our party. I must get on
with my " compo." Is reminds me of doing a " Theme " at Eton.
This is a holiday task. One, two, three, off !—and away!

All Abroad.

Before I know where we are, so to speak, we have left London,
and are at Lisbon. On the voyage Captain G. Williams suggests
these lines, to which I append my own translation. Balfour rather
behind me in Latin at Eton (I hear by private wire that he
admitted as much in his recent speech at the fourth centenary
celebration), and so, perhaps, couldn't give the translation as easily
as I do. Here is the Captain's reminiscence, and my translation
when he isn't looking :—

" Ille terrarum mini praeter omnes
Angulus ridet, ubi non Hymetto
Melle decedunt, viridique certat
Bacca Venafro.

" Vir ubi longum tepidusque prabet
Jupiter brumas, et amicus Aulon,
Fertili Baccho nimium Falernis
Invidet uvis."

Which translated means :—■

He, the Englishman {Anguhcs), beside me (that is, " sitting on deck by my
side ") laughs at all people on shore when he is quite certain {certat) that he
can't get good tobacco from Venafeh's (a local tobacconist). (This) man
prefers the long clay pipe, which gets so soon hot, for, by Jove, you '11 burn
yourself {bruma>i), and being a friend of Aulon's ("all on," local joke), he
envies those who can smoke the green tobacco, and doesn't wonder that they
go in for Falemian {classic metaphor for Cape wine).

I think that's pretty good for an old Etonian who could give
Balfour (the "Four" of the Fourth Party, a four-oar without a
steerer) a mile oyer any course of Virgil or Ovid, and beat him easily.

so ; you remember—

" Hope told a flattering tale ; "

but no one believed him. Wish
Balfour, Gorsty, and Wolffy
were here, and Wolffy better
than when I left him. First-rate
place to pick up health. Every
morning 1 climb the maintop-gal-
lant, plunge into the ocean, and
out again in the blowing of a
Bo'sen's whistle. I dive, grapple
with fresh lobster, bring him up
by the tail, and before he knows
where he is, he is boiled and on
mv table, hot, for breakfast. Ex-
cellent lobster! But how he
changes colour at being caught
and boiled ! Such a breakfast!

Quite a Tropical Song !
Something spicy at last. Rather!

The " Umbrella -tree" magnifi-
cent ! Spreads out in wet weather,
and folds up when it 's fine.
Splendid specimen of the " Boot-
tree" {Arbor tegumenpedis), and
the quaint " Blacking - Brush
Plant," which is its invariable
companion. No time to spare,
however—off again to the Gran-
tutty Castle, with pockets full of fruits of all kinds. Must take care
not to sit on them m boat. Lemon squash all verv well, but a mixed
fruit squash in your tail-coat pocket not so refreshing-.