Punch (101.1891)

October 10, 1891.]

PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHAEIVAEL

169

THE CYCLIST CENTAUR OF THE FUTURE.

The Dream of a (Pneumatic) Tyro.

ATROPOS AND THE ANTHROPOIDS.

{A Dirge at the Zoo.)

["The Anthropoid apes, of which there was
recently such a representative series in th? Zoo,
have dwindled sadly in numbers this year. The
lamented decease of ' Sally' was referred to a few
weeks ago; we have now to record the de ith of
' George,' the Orang-Outang."—Daily News.']

Late for the Chimpanzee the requiem rang,
Now the bell tolls for the Orang-Outang-.
Well may spasmodic sobs choke childhood's
gorge,

Now they who sighed for 1 Sally " grieve for
"George."

A "wilderness of monkeys" can't console,
For Anthropoids defunct. Of Apedom's
whole,

One little Chimpanzee, one Gibbon small,
(Who ought to write his race's "Rise and
Fall,")_

Alone remain to cheer the tearful Zoo,
And mitigate lone boyhood's loud bohoo!
"Sally" adieu! to "George" a long fare-
well!

Ah ! muffle if you please their passing bell!
Only one thought can cheer us in the h ast;
"No doubt the stock will shortly be in-
creased."

Thanks, Daily Neivs ! Wipe, childhood, the
wet eye,

And Apedom for dead kin 6often tho Simian
sigh!

Charity's Word of Command.—" Present
alms! "

OYSTERS (NOT) FOR EVER

SAYE ME EROM MY ERIENDS

He was a gentle Fishmonger and Williamson his name, \ Scene—A Place of Meeting. Enter Parliamentary Leader and his

JNo doubt you may have heard before his philanthropic game. Subordinate. They greet one another effusively.

Ihe lack of oysters pained him much, for how could people royster
And happy be in ?--less months without the luscious oyster ?

A look of pain was in his face, a pucker on his brow,
Long time he pondered very hard to try and hnd out how.
At last he cried, "Eureka! from France I '11 go and bring them,
And into beds I've got at home without a murmur fling them."

Then they came across the Channel, and he very sweetly said,

Leader {cordially). And now, my dear fellow, how are my interests?
Sub. [with much heartiness). Getting on capitally! Just been
writing to all the papers to say that it is stupid to call you " Old
Dot-and-go-one," because it is inapplicable to either your age or
your mode of controversy.

Lead, {with a feeble smile). That was kind of you! But who had
..... . said it ?

So glad to see you looking well, would you like to see your bed ? i Sub. {airily). Oh, someone of about fourth-rate importance! and
For there, my little dears, you stay; you '11 one day * - it had been quite forgotten you know- So I dragged

know the reason. | [?!! I I | it up again, and put it all right for you.

I'll rouse you when the month of May makes natives § jO Lead, {shaking hands). Thanks, so very much.

out of season." | 1 "'"''^wj If But ^ persons had forgotten it, why revert to it?

rtn. -cw t. ttt i • pi i |^*^s!^^ss~2^2*J | Sub. Oh, don't you see? Why, the point is, vou

The Fishmongers, the Worshipful, sent down a man are not a bit like it-not a scrap like it! Next week

to see, If " - ■■'zT^Jw'l I shall write and say that it's rubbish to call you a

He wrung his hands and shook his head, and said, |. |l| |j u f J {a|| turncoat, because you have always been consistent.

,o^^.ileJj^^i„ n„A u ^,vn„™Atnji^„n«^ if!;: ii'--tUP nPyHl Lead, {anxiously). But is anybody calling me a

turncoat"

It pains me very deeply, and it drives me to distra ction,
You 've done what's wrong, and I shall have to insti-

rong, ana i snail have to msti- f^;-,s -' ^mmMM Sub. Not that I know of, but they might, don't vou
tute an action. t#^xli see. So it's as well to be on the safe side. I shall

Then Williamson, he sobbed aloud, and shed a bitter i'jJSs\ ' fl\ • \|1 Jhat> if ?ny one d\d. call you a turncoat, that the

tear irpll^ W Ire f I it sPea^er would prove himself a liar! 1 hat ought to

" Oh, hung it all," he cried, " why must you come 3jPlSs» \Ml ' f give you a leg up, oughtn't it ?

and interfere ? ^ftwpi^l ••'V n Lead, (with some hesitation). My dear friend, you

I quite admit, however, that I see your point precisely, Ki are kind : but if you don't mind, I would be so

So don't let's quarrel, let's be friends, and bring the 1 W§Mf7 f l Tmmsely obll»ed lf vou would leave m? interests

action nicely " kwMTwu j^B^E^m *W alone.

IBg^ggl^^^U| Sub. {with great cordiality). What, leave your

They brought that friendly action, and the clever ^^^g^^^^^^^^ffi interests alone ! Never! You may be always sure of

counsel tried f^-^^iinnBi' iT fi my hearty support!

To prove to Fatjdell Phillips that the law was on A Native Hoister. Lead, {earnestly). But as a personal matter, I must

his side, beg of you kindly to leave me alone.

Sub. {reluctantly). Well, of course, if you make it a personal
matter. I must consent. But the Party will suffer.

Lead, {dryly). Possibly—from your point of view. [Exeunt.

But the oyster-dealer found the law for Lim was one too many,
So he had to pay the piper—to be quite exact, a penny.

And you who love your oyster in the latter end of May,
In June, July, and August, too, will sadly rue the day,

For philanthropic folk will find it unremunerative Jawfttl News!—The Diminution of the Jaw m the Civilised

lo introduce m summer-time this Franco-English native. Races ig thc, m& of a painphlet by Mr. F. Howabd Collin^. We

* Ovsters are to be six shillings a dozen this winter!! How many of 'haven't read it; but if it be in favour of the diminution of ''jaw,"
the ordinarily careless will now be compelled to go by Eules without j we heartily recommend its study to all Members ot r'arlia-
goingin for Oysters. Is.B.—" Action" in these verses is poetic license for jment, actual or intending, and to all post-prandial speechmakers
"summons." J generally.

vol, cl. q,