Punch (101.1891)

July 11, 1891.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

13

w^/'mto nrini iii ' forbidding smile) as 'ow yer may sometimes hentertain a angel un-

VOCES POPUL1. awares !

MORE POT-POURRI FROM THE PARK. Reciter Number Two [giving his own private version of " The

c t> t i t :» /tt_i j j .c i Ticket of Leave Man") Fourpenee 'ap'ny, Gentlemen, is not a very

ScEXE-TAe Par* «*«r Cumberland Gate on almost any fine { ,&rt nor recoffnition of mv talent; Weeer, I will nowpereeed

afternoon Behind the rails separating the turf from the paths, ^ the Drarmer. The Curtain "rises upon the Second Haet. Hover

Orators Preachers, and Reciters are holding forth, for the , three yearg ,aye elapsed siuce Rohert Brier ley-(&c.) We are in

delectation of small groups, who are mostly engaged m discuss- M Hedwardses lodgings. She is torkin to 'er goldhneh. If vou
mgsome totally different subject A set debate, With a time- bo * don>t iye oye/iarkin> and stand back, you'll get a cuff" on
limit, and a purely ornamental Chairman, is m progress ^ of yQur >eds_ u Goldie » she seZi «pYe 'ad a letter from 'Tm
between a Pamelhte and an Anti-Pamelhte The reader will tMs m0r'uing ! » And the bird puts his little 'ed a one side, and
kindly imagine himself to be passing slowly along thejme. ■ a,most S(?ems as if he c.0inpre'ended 'er meanin' ! _ Mrs. Willoughby

A Youthful Socialist [haranguing the usual crowd of well-to-do is'eard outside savin', "May I come in?" I will now hendeavour
loungers, and working himself up to the requisite white-heat offac- ; to give you a imitation of 3Trs. Willoughby.

titious fury). And what are these Capitalists ? I '11 tell yer. Jest j \_IIe cocks his hat rather more on one side, to indioate feminine
a lot o' greedy gobblers and profit-mongering sharks, as eat up the j garrulity, and continues.

smaller fry. And what are you f Why, you're the small fish as! Anti-Parnellite Irishman [warmly). Is it kape to the point ? Oi
eat mud—and let yourselves be gobbled! [The crowd accept this till that white-feeced an' black-hearrted loiar, list Murphy, that if
definition of themselves with perfect gaiety and good-humour}) Some , he interrups me wance more whoile o'ini in possession o' the chair,
will tell yer that these lazy, idle loafers, work as hard 'as what we oi'll step down an' call'm to orrder by landin' 'um a clump on the
do ourselves. [Derisive laughter at this ridiculous idea.) Mind yer, ; conk !

I'm not saying they don't. Honly, the 'arder they work, the worse Reciter Number Three [icho is working his way through a blood-
it is for us ; because the more they work the more they rob ! That's | curdling poem, with a hat on the ground before him):—
what they send their sons to Oxford and to Cambridge And on came them maddened 'orses, with their foi-

■—as was built and endowed for the benefit of us, the JK^h cr>"< ?mokin' breath ;

labourin' classes—for. They send 'em there to learn j&JmmjsW As were bearin' the woman I lurved to a crule and

'ow to rob! 'orrible death! {Pathetically.

[Here a discussion breaks out between a Sceptic and a t^^^^' could I save my darlin' from layin' a mangled 'eap

Spiritualist, who, with half-a-dozen interested iP-^eC; On *ne £rorss helow where the buttercups blow, along

auditors, have been putting their heads together in °^ innercent sheep !

a corner. [Wildly.) I felt my brine was reeling—I 'adn't a min-

The Sceptic. No,—but keep to the point,—you're /^^^r^llwt^N nit to lose ! [Tie strains forward, in agony.

shufflin' the question. I want to argue this out on §$&w$k "With a stifled prayer, and a gasp for air, I-----

logical grounds. I know as well as you do that, :: only BWp« |f4|j&Vj| [Here he suddenly becomes aware of an overlooked

I Vive 'armony and a round table in my family, I can J&«^1hH 'muf' v penny on the grass, and replaces it carefully

make that table dance the poker — but what I'm Mm0 mjrhl^M jm '• in the hat before proceeding.

puttin' to you is triumphantly), 'ow does that prove to Mm^mm^^mwM^% First Bystander discussing Physical Courage with a
me as I'm in communication with the Bogie Man? W^SanLWS^^^^ friend). No, I never 'ad no pluck. I don't see the use
That's what you 've got to answer. Wf-^^Vmiiiw^' ^ ' r •* myself on'y gits you into rows. [Candidly.) I 'in

_ The Y. S. "We Soshalists 'ate the Tories as we 'ate a blanky coward, I am.

sin. Why, young polertician as I ham, &c, &c. uM£i^/' ~^&&$ft //'-f Friend admiringly'. Give us yer 'and. Yer

The Spiritualist [an elderly and earnest person). All mBajt/fJmt^-!|f can't be a blankier coward than mc .'
I can reply to you is, we Spiritualists do not think -we JjMRi^fflRB|$\. The A. P. [with just pride). Oi've been wan o' the

know that these phenomena appear—yes, .as surely as jBn^aSmiwBi. !? 'p biggest libertines in this or anny other city in me toime
I know I am'olding this stick in my'and. fflqm'i SftMpMB^ -there's no blagardhism oi'd have put beyani me—

The Sceptic 'pityingly . There you go again, yi r s Wmi muMmm '' ' lm* °i till ye this. If Pabxell was to come up to me

—that stick ain't the point. I can see the stick. A WwWuMeMm • \ •'• here, now, and ask me to shook um by the hand, oi'd
stick ain't a phenomena—you're confusin'two different MmmKmmU \ |i!: |':) ™Y< " Shtand back,'ye d d scoundthrcl! " Ah, oi
things. New I'm goin' to offer you a fair challenge. jflffimf HUB r> 'il "would that!

Ton perdooce me a Spirit—not in a back room, with TfljfiMMlMpfflB ft " Belated Orator (perorating to an embarrassed strun-

the lights out, but 'ere, in broad daylight, in this Park ''^flMnPYl I ger on a scat before him, under a muddled impression

—you pet that Spirit to naturalise itself, or whatever if!!' *f Mat he is addressing a spell-bound multitude). I tell

you call it, and I'll believe in 'im. Come, now! i'JSi'v! ' ^ 3'er—5"es» hevery man, and hevery woman among yer

A Bystander. Ah, that's the way to corner 'is sort. IpW —[Here he bends forward, and touches his hearers

'E knows 'e carn't do it! 1 '•' right and left elbow impressively)—don't you go away

The Spiritualist [with a smile of sad superiority). "Yer may sometimes hen- under the impression I'm talking of what I don't
Ridicule ain't argyment. [The discussion continues, tertain a angel unawares! " understan'! (The Stranger shifts his leg and looks
The Young Socialist. Don't fork to me of Patriotism! another way.) I speak sense, don't I? You never

'eard nothin' like this afore, any oi yer, 'ave yer? That's because
I read between the lines! [Waving his arm wildly.) An' I want
heach man and boy of you to 'member my words, and haet upon
them when the time conies !

[Here he staggers off with a proud and exalted air, to the immense
relief of his hearer.
A Professional Pietist [icith a modest ivorking capital of one
hymn and a nasal drone). "My richest gynes " . . . [To Charitable
Passer. A copper, Sir? bless 3"our kind 'art!) "I cayount " . . .
[Exaniining it. A bloomin' French 'ap'ny!) . . . "but loss; And
pour contemp' "... (Call yerself a Christian gen'lman, yer—&c.)
. ..." on a—a—11 my proide ! "

[Here the Reader icill probably have had enough of it.)

What have the likes of vou and me got to be patriotic about ? I'm
a Universalist, I am, and so long as a man rallies round our glorious
Red Flag [here he waves a dingy scarlet rag on a stick), it's all one
to me whether his own colour is black, yeller, green, brown, or white!

[Applause.

Reciter Number One [in the midst of a thrilling prose narrative
about a certain " 'Aeey," who has apparently got into legal difficulties
for having thrown a cocoa-nut stick at a retired Colonel). Well, I
went into the Court 'ouse, and there, sure enough, was my pore mate
'Aeey in the dock, and there was hold Ginger-whiskers [laughter)
a setting on the bench along with the bother beaks, lookin' biliouser,
and pepperier, and more happerplecticker nor ever! "Prison-ar,"
he sez, addressin' 'Aeey [imitation of the voice and manner of a
retired Colonel), "Prison-ar, 'ave you—har—hanythink to say in
your beyarf—har ? " And then, hall of a sudden, 1 sor a flash come
into my dear 'ole comride 'Aeey's heyes, as he strightened 'imself in
the dock, and gave the milingtery sloot, and then, in a voice as
sounded as true and sweet and clear as a bell, he sez

A Dingy and Unprepossessing Preacher [unctuously). Well,
beloved friends, as I was telling yer, I went'ome to the 'ouse of that
pious Methodist lady, and she told me as 'ow she 'ad two dear
unconverted sons, an' I knelt down {8rc, §c), an' after that we 'ad
our tea, and then I preached a sermon—ah, I well remember I took
my tex from [Sfc, Sfc.)—an' then she gave me supper [more
unctuously still), as nice a bit o' cold beef and 'ome-brewed ale as
ever I wish to taste, and I slep' that blessed night in a warm
comfortable bed—and this [drawing the inevitable moral) this brings

me round to what I started on, inasmuch as it proves [with a \ itself were the only consideration

vol. ci.

A Real Teeat.—Advice to Covent-gardeners.—If Carmen is to
be done again this season with the same cast as it had on Saturday
last, no one who cares for an exceptionally first-rate performance
should miss this opera-tunity. There is no better representative of
Carmen than Mile. Zelle l»e LussAK,—how can there be, since the
Spanish Gipsy heroine of the plot is herself a Loose 'un ? Madame
Melba was charming as Mickie Ella, the Irish girl in Spain.
M. Lassalle appeared as Escamillo, the bull-fighter, in a novel,
and doubtless a correct, costume, and his great Toreador song was
vociferously encored. Then, finally, Jean de Reske, who made of
the usually idiotic Don Jose a fine acting as well as a fine singing
part. It drew a big house, and would have been a pretty dish to set
before an Emperor "on Wednesday, if, on that occasion, the Opera