Punch: Punch (101.1891)

36 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July is, 1891.

reeited the multiplication table up to^twelye times twelve, the remarks
would have been just as relevant and informing as those he read
from the paper. Moreover, the gravity of his aspect and the solemn
inflection of his voice, would have compelled Members to listen to

the end of the recitation with a sort of dim consciousness that they j I-1 Punch and the Elections were the only matters which occupied the

THEN AND NOW.

MR. PUNCH'S JUBILEE RETROSPECT.

were really being informed as to the details of an understanding
come to between Her Majesty's Secretary of State for Foreign
Affairs, and the Governments of Germany and Italy.
Business done.—Education Bill through Eeport Stage.

Thursday.—House having disposed of Land Purchase Bill and
Education Bill, is able to devote portion of sitting to consideration of
its own personal affairs. Moetox brings on subject of Bar in Lobby
of House of Commons. Nothing to do with the Bar that Lockwood,
Asquith, and Reid adorn; merely a counter, at which they sell
what Jemmy Lowthee alludes to, with a bewitching air of distant
acquaintance, as " alcoholic liquors." Mortox, whose great ambi-
tion in life is to make people thoroughly comfortable, wants to close
the Bar. Sydxey HERBERT, making a rare appearance as spokes-
man for the Government on the Treasury Bench, pleads as a set-off
against alleged evil example, the large consumption of "lemon
squash," which he explains to the House is "a non-intoxieant."
Campbell-Baxxermax sends thrill of apprehension through listening
Senate by inquiring whether the House of Commons is licensed for
the sale of intoxicating liquors P

No one ever thought of that before. As far as anyone knows,
place isn't licensed ; consequently,
m very birthplace of legislation,
the law has for years been sys-
tematically defied. Worse this than
what happened at Temple the other
day, when Lord Chaxcellor and
a score of principal Members of
Bar of England narrowly escaped
indictment for playing a drama in
an unlicensed hall. Vision con-
jured up of the police making
sudden descent on the House, walk-
ing off with Speaker, Sergeaxt-
at-Arms, and possibly Old Mo-
rality, to nearest station, there
to be locked up till released on

public mind on July 17, 1841."—Introduction to "Punch," Vol. I.]
Fifty years ago, my Public, fifty years ago !

Faith, the years fleet swiftly onward, though sad hours seem slow.
Forty-One beheld my advent, Friend of Truth and Fun ;
From my sanctum still I greet you now in Ninety-One.

" Punch and the Elections ! " Truly a compendious text.
With how many Burning Questions men to-day are vext!
Then the Whigs perceived their tether pretty nearly run,
And—they 're watching Bye-Elections now in Ninety-One.

Then Lord Jonx was on the Treasury Bench, though ill at ease,
Thence to be soon torn—like Theseus ;—Peel, the Hercules.
Now Smith smiles a toothy smile in little Johxxy's place,
While the Grand Old Hercules sits watching, grave of face.

He remembers Forty-One! Few, except Punch and him,
Linger from those brave old days, now distant grown and dim !
He has reached his Jubilee, as Punch this year hath done.
Yeterans both, we drink each other's health in Ninety-One !

Forty-One was fierce and fiery. Young Disraeli then
Bravely buttered stout Sir Robert as the best of men.
Pheugh ! But in how short a time was Bex's envenomed steel
Destined to find rankling lodgment in the breast of Peel !

Now ? Well, there is jaunty Joseph poisoning his point ;
Seeking in Graxdolmax's mail some penetrable joint!
Heroes and ex-armour-bearers still keep up the fun ;
One-and-Forty saw it so, and so does Ninety-One !

Mr. Sharmax Crawford (who was he f Let quidnuncs guess!)
Moved Amendment relative to " Popular Distress."
Then his cure was Wider Suffrage. Xoiv what would it be ?
Land with little or no Pent, and Education Free ?

Then the Corn Laws cramped Free Trade; free Competition now
Breeds the Sweater, harsh exploiter of the toiler's "
When brave Peel achieved Repeal some deemed t
But Commissions upon Labour sit in Ninety-One.

bail. ^^K^^^gBBB^^'^ Breeds the Sweater, harsh exploiter of the toiler's brow.

Jemmy Lowther much struck ^Plllll ^SBSm^S When brave Peel achieved Repeal some deemed the task was done,

by suggestion. His innate magis-
terial instincts on the alert. We
all know and like Jemmy, but few
of us have opportunity of seeing
him at his very best. That happens
when he sits on the Magisterial
Bench and dispenses justice. It is

as Jemmy, J.P., he rises to the r" Tp London Laundrvdom on Strike now in Hvde Park appears,

fullest height of his judicial manner. •■ i Ah ! since Eighteen Fortv-One much has been tried—and (fevx-,

Still, pretty well just now. A little embarrassed at the outset by con-
sciousness that his postal address at Leeds is " Swillington House."
Afraid some ribald person will remember this, and vulgarly connect
it with the discussion. Delightfvd to observe the way in which he
reproved George Campbell for language unbecoming the precincts
of the Court. Campbell had lightly spoken about "Members
requiring a pick-me-up." "Persons enjoying the privilege of
obtaining alcoholic liquors," was the way Jemmy put it, with a .

severe glance towards the abashed Knight of Kircaldy. : Marvels, commonplace to-day, few then would have believed

Business done.—Committee of Supply. I Science, liberty, Pure Manners, Order, Peace, Goodwill?

Sfbthorp then amused St. Stephen's: we have Seymour Keay,
D'Orsay then was wit and dandy, Oscab Wilde have we.
And if wild Feabgus O'Coxxor fashioned Land Schemes then,
Burxs and Morris well can match him now with tongue or pen.

Then Tom Hood could sing that Song * which moved a world to tears,
London Laundrvdom on Strike now in Hyde Park appea
Ah ! since Eighteen Forty-One much has been tried—ai
But Punch finds no lack of labour e'en in Ninety-One '

Then Her Majesty, a Maiden Queen, fresh graced the Throne,
Now her Royal Jubilee is full four years bygone.
He who has illumed her reign with wisdom, wit, and fun,
Greets her loyally to-day as then, in Forty-One.

Madam, much since then has happened, much has been achieved

Friday.—Turns out to-night that Moetox doesn't approve the
Triple Alliance. This would be awkward, in any circumstances.
Peculiarly embarrassing just now with one of the principal signa-
tories our guest. Emperor William was most anxious to come
down to House ; meant to see everything -whilst he was here, not
knowing what may happen before another opportunity presents itself.

" Always read your Diary, Toby," he said to me, over a strawberry
and cream at Marlborough House yesterday; "gather from it the
impression that House of Commons is exceedingly interesting
place; all its Members eloquent, and all its Ministers virtuous.
Must go and see it. Look in on Friday."

Here's a go! Known beforehand that Moktox meant to state
his views on the Mabkiss's foreign policy, with its evident leaning
toward Germany. Yery awkward if Emveboe came in just while
Moetox was speaking.

"It would play the doose with the ententy cordially" said
Jllies 'Axxibal Pictox, who resents Mobtox's interference in the
field of foreign policy.

Punch for Fifty Years has championed, and will champion still.

Then and now! The captious cynic at the contrast sneers,
Punch believes in, and would help, the Progress of the Years.
When his Century's full course, fifty Years hence, has run,
With good heart and glad may he look back on Ninety-One !

* " The. Song of the Shirt" which appeared on po!ie260 of Vol. Y., 1843,
a supplementary number entitled, " Punch's Triumphal Procession."

QUEER QUERIES.

Influenza.—I should feel really grateful to any reader who can
tell me whether I have Infiuenza or not. I think 1 must have it, as
I have tested my temperature with a thermometer attacked to a
weather-glass hanging in the hall, which is only slightly cracked,
and find that it—my temperature, not the weather-glass—stays
i constantly at 120 degrees, which seems rather high. My headaches
Happily Emperor William didn't get as far as Westminster ;! are frightful, and the pills with forty grains of qtunine in them.

which I have been recommended to take by a neighbouring chemist's
assistant, do not seem to do any good. Cough and chemist's bill both
very heavy. Ought I to have a change ? If so, whom should I try
and take it out of ?—Neeyous Subject.

detained at Guildhall; just got off in time to dine with the Great
Dook, and afterwards to the ball at Buckingham Palace. So peace
between two great nations is maintained. But Moetox ran us pretty
close. Business done.—Committee of Supply.

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