Punch: Punch (101.1891)

August 8, 1891.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

65

alone. He said he preferred it, as he had so much to do to-morrow."
Then several exclaim, " But where is he note ? "

"I don't know," replies the Proprietor. "Most likely, being-
tired, he has gone to bed. I myself showed him to his room, flo. 142,
on his arrival."

Heavens ! The number of my room—is 142 ! Not another man in
there.' No. ... I see it all now.- I am Dr. MaSuaant! The
real McSlmmum hasn't arrived, and he hasn't sent a message.
This accounts for my welcome, and the absence of all difficulty in
obtaining- a room. But if he arrives now! where shall J be ?

""What's that about McSnoroM?" says a jovial voice, coming
right into the midst of them.

To which inquiry responds a chorus, "He's here! Mr. Capes
says so, but no one's seen him."

"And no one's likely to," returns the cheery speaker. "He's
staying with some friends a little way out of the town. He has just
sent me a note by hand to say that he won't occupy his room till
to-morrow, and will be much obliged if Mr. Capes will forward by
bearer a bag: that was labelled and addressed to the room taken for
him here, Xo. 142."

"But-" exclaims the Proprietor, aghast, "but-"

At this moment I catch sight of the man with the cheery voice.
Saved! I know him. It is my old friend, Sir Joels' Hartley, M.D.,
who, j"ears ago, told me there was nothing the matter with me, only
I must take a holiday and go abroad to get better (most excellent
advice, and I've never been quite well since), and who now exclaims,
with all his old breadth of manner, "What you here! Bravo!
We '11 make you an honorary member! "

The Proprietor looks at me, and I at the Proprietor. I know what
is passing through the mind of Mr. Norfolk Capes, F.R.G.S. and
P.R.B.H. I hasten to relieve his anxiety by saying, Thanks; I'm
here onlv for the night; I'm off to-morrow. I've just come down
here to look for a house. By the way, I rather think that Dr.
McSlmmum's bag must be in my room. Let's see."

So I depart with the Proprietor. Explanations en route. Dr.
McSimmum's bag has been placed in my room, I should say in his
room. But I've got the apartment, and if it hadn't been for the
mistake, I should have been homeless and houseless, and a wanderer j t> p\u>t?~Drr crrQ tut? "DunTHfO \ i?u m t t-tiat
on the face of the sand at Bournemouth. Must write to that best of I iUJttMi&L SLLZ 1HL rriUlUUltAr ± lArvLA.

all doctors, McSimmum, and thank him for not coming to-night. | Well, I have seen some grandly hintresting sites in my time, I
As it is I spend a delightful evening with the Members of the j have, but never, no never, did I see anythink to ekal the picter as I

KURDS AND AWAY!

IvniGXAXT we spoke out, and any amount

Of strong language we used when we read the account,

And a tear slowlv rolled down our cheek

when we heard
Of the youthful Miss O. and the Kidnapping
Kurd.

We sat in our chairs, and, quite reckless of
life, [knife;

We wiped out the insult with war to the
And it only redouVed our anger to read
That the girl— s) they said—had abandoned
her cr?ed.

Such a thing was absurd, and, of course,

wasn't true ;
Much perplexed, -we all wondered what we
ought for to do,
Though we heard with delight they were on the girl's track,
And we wept in our joy when we knew she was back.

But the wonderful ending remains to be told,
For the maiden was fond of the warrior bold,
And embracing her husband (as is usual with brides)
Mrs. Aziz embraced his religion besides.

So our tears were all wasted, our threats all in vain,
We can now feel quite calm and collected again.
At the fate of the lady we all should rejoice,
She is happy with Aziz, the man of her choice.

Good luck to the bridegroom! Good luck to the bride!

Good luck to the knot they have hastily tied!

With all due respect, let us venture to say

That we hope from her Kurd she will not run away !

B. M. A. here assembled, in the smoking-room. The conversation is
chiefly about the use of alcohol and tobacco as poisons. The decision

seed on the werry larst dav of July larst week, when, by such a
series of good lucks as I ardly ever had afore, I was priveledged for
to see the Bite Honerable the Lord Make
prepare hisself, with his two lately be-
nighted Sheriffs, in the most scrumptious
of their many rich dresses, and with the
solid gold Carsket as was guv to the
Hemperer of Garmaxy about a fortnight
ago, and had most misteriously cum
back from abroad, all for to be photo-
graffed altogether in one big grupe, with
all the Aldermen as they coud find handy
in their rich crimson silk dresses, and
several werry Common Counsellors and
Town Clarks and Kemembrensers, et
setterer, in horder as the longing world
may see what sorts of Gents they was,
and how they all looked when in their
werry best close, and with their lovely
solid' gold deckorations on (as the Hem-
perer and the Prince of Wales begged and prayed as they might
have one a-peace) who arranged and carried out the grandest show
of modern times, wiz, when the Germax Hemteror and his wife
cum to Guildhall. Oh, wasn't they a long wile before the Gent coud
get 'em all into good places, and didn't they all look sollem, when he
said, "Quite steddy, please!"

But not noboddy as reddily gives a ginny for a mere coppy of what
I saw dun, will see all I saw" without paving no ginny, and that was,
arrived at towards one o clock a.m., or, more correctly speaking, the , to see the hole d icter built up M it werCj beginning with the
Inn-decision, is that, on this particular occasion, one glass more of ; Ij0rd Maee in his w£ite hermine robe of pooritv and his black
something or other, and just one last pipe or cigar, cannot possibly | Cocked Hat of Power au most bewtifoollv and kindly arranged for
hurt anybody. This is carried nem. con. : and so, subsequently, we : Mm by the hartistic SiLeri£.

adjourn, not carried but walking, soberly and honestly, to bed. j And then what a legson on trew bumilitv, to see the Lord Mare,
A est morning up with the lark, indeed a trine earlier, and after j in all his _j retire to the Committee's'dressing-room, and there
examining Bournemouth and tmding excellent residences up above m ! t • y £ to~ his werry shirt-sleeves and clothe hisself in the mere
beautiful air where it must alwavs be breezy, I thank Mr. Norfolk 1 -
Capes, F.R.G.S. and P.R.B.H. for the hospitality shown me in his
exceptionally pleasant house, and I return by the swift 2'5 p.m. train,
which lands me at Yauxhall at 4"30 to the moment. Of course I
am now expecting my diploma as Honorary Member of the British
Medical Association.

-Speed the Parting Guest.'

Another Jubilee.—That of the Old Stagers at Canterbury. Free
List entirely suspended at the Theatre, with the exception of just
A Scrap of Paper in the house.

hordnarv close of common humanety !

Ah ! 1 henvys no man his persessionof the bewtifool Photygraff, for
I, almost alone, can say, tho but a pore hed Waiter, I saw the grand
pictur grow like a bewtifool dream, and then saw it fade away like a
strawbery hiee on a Summer's Day ! Robert.

La Politesse ue Portsmouth.—The French Fleet may depend
upon a courteous welcome at Portsmouth by the Mayor, who is the
"Pink" of Politeness.