Punch: Punch (101.1891)

100

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 29, 1891.

^-r.Ai/r-1 i lai^ AA»«n41m/Miis ^Tiss T. {soothingly). "Well, I guess there's no harm done. I

THE TRAVEL LIN (a COMPANIONS. didn't feel like being in any imminent danger of perishing that way

j^0i jy in your society. You 're real high-toned and ever so improving, and

a ~™ m -rrr< , ir a ' t> ' i ? ? 77 7- 1, 7 that's better than tickling, every time. And I want you to show me

%Qm%~The Wiertz Museum at Brussels, a large and well-lighted round thig coUection and give me a few notions. Seems to me there
gallery containing the works of the celebrated Belgian which was consicieraDie sand in Wieetz ; sort of spread himself around a
are reducing a limited number of spectators to the usual degree ] ^ deal clidn,t he ? j presume though, he slept bad, nights.
of stupefaction. Enter Culchaed, who seats himself on a . {She mnkes tU tmr offhe GaUery^ accompanied by Culchaed, ivho
central ottoman. admires her, against his better judgment, more and more.) . . . I

Culchard {to himself). If Podbuet won't come down to breakfast ; declare if that isn't your friend Mr. Podbuet just come in ! I

at a decent hour, he can't complain if I---I wonder if he heard

Miss Teottee say she was thinking of coming here this morning.
Somehow, I should like that girl to have a more correct comprehen-
sion of my character. I don't so much mind her thinking me fasti-
dious and exclusive. I daresay I am—but I do object to being made
out a hopeless melancholiac! {He looks round the walls.) So these

believe I '11 have to give you up to him.

Culch. {eagerly). I beg you will not think it necessary. He—he
has a guide already. He does not require my services. And, to be
plain, my poor friend—though an excellent fellow according to his
—ah—lights—is a companion whose society occasionally amounts to
a positive infliction,

are Wieetz's masterpieces, eh? h'm. Strenuous, vigorous,—a trifle Miss T. Well, I find him too chinny myself, times. Likely he

crude, perhaps. Didn't he refuse all offers for his pictures during won't notice us if we don't seem to be aware of him.

his lifetime ? Hardly think he could have been overwhelmed with [.They continue to inspect the canvases.
applications for the one opposite. {He regards an enormous canvas, \ A Belgian Guide {who has made an easy capture o/_ Podbuet at

representing a brawny and gigantic Achilles the Hotel entrance). Hier now is a shdrainch

perforating a brown Trojan with a small M /^^~\ beecture. "De toughts and veesions of a

mast.) Not a dining-room picture. Still, ^ ^SlL saivered haid." Fairsst meenut afder de-

I like his independence—work up rather sx i^|Sli|P§§^ gapitation ; de zagonde ; de tirt. Hier de

well in a sonnet. Let me see. {He takes (SffilliiP^w Cj^lpljP haid tink dey vant to poot him in a goffin.

out note-book and scribbles.) " He scorned ^Is^lKp W v^sfe Dere are two haids—von goes op, de udder

to ply his sombre brush for hire." Now if ^\ ^^^Sik down. Haf you got de two? Nod yet?

I read that to Podbuet, he'd pretend to yf&/jf~± J JfS^\*wl^^^\ ?

think I was treating of a Shoe-black on wk. Podbury {shaking his head sagaciously).

strike! Podbuet is utterly deficient in ^^^ii^V^^^H^fc^lll^lH^ Oh, ah, yes. Capital! Rum subject, though,

reverence. _ »|f| vlk ^^^^^^M^v^ Guide. Vais, vary magmfique, vary

[Close by is a party of three Tourists—a mlMlm'iWm W^^^^Kv^^Mw grandt, and — and rom also! Dees von

Father and Mother, and a Daughter: jefflBm-- j V| f || ^ v^Mf^^^'^ rebresents Napoleon in hail. De modders

ivho is reading tn them aloud from the M^W^K^j't '• ' '^Ml <!<ffllw* Baalf show him de laigs and ahums of dair sons

somewhat effusive Official Catalogue; m£p ^Mwil ''/'/jtlKij^ffiieT 11^1 keeled in de vars, and in vide him to drink

the Education of all three appears to ^^P^r, B^ipP^B Pwlw^ik a cop of bloodt.

have been elementary. ^^W/ ^fffl - vll '^^'W^^^li Podb. Ha, cheery picture that!

The Daughter {spelling out the words dt jffll ' $\ Guide. Cheery, oh, vais! Now com and
laboriously). "I could not 'elp fancying jmwWW^tom Hftli beep troo dis 'ole. (Podbuet obeys with
this was the artist's por-portrait ? portent? /w[§Wm m h^niHt \wO^|wy^iy docility.'' You see? A Mad Yoman cook-
no, protest against des-des {recklessly) jfflpimm Wiwmm V\ rM'n ing her shildt in a gettle. Hier again, dey
despoticism, and tryanny, but 1 see it is SmKiWm fwlllll \\ ■' WlM huf puried a man viz de golera pefore he
only— Por-Porlifiymus fasting upon the fJWW \\ >■ IfM is daid, he dries to purst de goffin, you see
companions of Ulyces." IlijMIli [''I iflilflllfil \v> \m§ only de handt shdicking oudt.

Her Male Parent. Do it tell yer what l|« milm PI f IMlift V T:l\ Podb. The old Johnny seems full of pretty

that there big arm and leg be a' doin' of in ||||>jff.'M |i!/j sffif| ||| ) ff/ fancies. {He looks through another peep-

the middle of'em ? iil/Slff'I I I• US 1 I V fir hole.) Girl looking at skeleton. Any other

Daughter {stolidly). Don't you be in a If Mil I '■ ' W M H Mill domestic subjects on view ? {He suddenly

nurry, Father {continuing) " in the midst ffWafllnl: ^ !|Jll H / " $wl sees ^ss Teottee and Culchaed with their

of some colonial? That ain't it— colossial '(! fi/|§ ,i M j| jl 11 I l| / .• '. iJ/l backs to him.) Hal—lo, this is luck! I

animiles fanatically—fan-tasty-cally-" >|| f if j! | i Nil H i- Ik must go to the rescue, or that beggar Cui-

why, this catalogue is 'alf foreign! I ||| |j | |iSffl|i|( fmff. j| .-Mis , chaed will bore her to death in no time.

Female P. Is ever mind, say Peterborough \\\\\ W) I i(: 111IIII lli / (^'«' Guide.) Here, hold on a minute,

at the 'ard words—we shan't be none the I I I I IVUitUWSmi'\\mIr'J■Ji/l J (Crosses to Culchaed, followed by Guide.)

wiser! fl/f | ll | fj|l Wi^'M ' How d'ye do, Miss Teottee ? Doing the

Daughter. " The sime-boalic ram the'ero | JjilY '||| Wild Wiertz Show, I see. Ah, Culchaed,

is to Peterborough and leave 'is Peter- ' | | | I fill lllll^f^^^^'' / TV'iy ^n't you tell mo you were sroing—

borough grotter-" ' ill IP J llffl i Hlll^R'■' x/i^ might have gone together. I say, I've got

Male P. That'll do—read what it says ^pllllf' ' 'fWjr j-K'/- a guide here,

about the next one. " UlJML J>&^ ^' Culch. {drily). So we perceive—a very

Daughter {reading). "TheForgeof Yulkin. fp^p Xy sensible plan, no doubt, in some cases, my

Words are useless 'ere. Before sech a picture " f dear fellow.

one can but look, and think, and eniov it." T ±i i i i ^i i ■ w >> Podb. {to 3fiss T.) Do come and listen to

Both Parents (impressed). Lorl ' I presume, though, ]ie slept bad, nights. ^ ^ iuteUig;ent chap-great fun.

[They smack their tips reverently; Miss Teottee enters the Gallery. < Mr. Culchaed is above that sort of thing, I dare say.

Culch. '(rising and going to meet her). Good morning, Miss; Guide. Your vriendts laike to choin, yais ? Same for tree as for
Teottee. We—ah—meet again. : yon. I exblain all de beecture.

Miss T. That's an undeniable fact. I've left Poppa outside. Miss T. You 're vurry obliging, Mr. Podbuet, but your friend is
Poppa restricts himself to exteriors wherever he can—says he doesn't explaining it all just splendidly.

seem to mix up his impressions so much that way. But you're alone, I Podb. (piqued). Perhaps I had better dismiss my chap, and take
too. Where've you hitched your friend up ? on Celchaed, too ?

Culch. My friend did not rise sufficiently early to accompany me. ! Miss T. No, I'd just hate to have you do that. Keep on going
And, by the way, Miss Teottee, I should like to take this opportu- round. You mustn't mind us, indeed!

nity of disabusing your mind of the —er—totally false impression-j Podb. Oh, if you'd rather ! (Gloomily, to Guide.) They can do

Miss T. Oh, that's all right. I told him he needn't try to give without us. Just showme something more in the blood-and-thunder

me away, for I could see you weren't that kind of man ! j line—no, at the other end of the room. [They withdraw.

Culch. (gratefully). Your instinct was correct—perfectly correct, j Guide. Hier is von dat is vary amusant. You know de schtory of

When you say " that kind of man," I presume you refer to the de- 1 de Tree Yishes, eh?

scription my—er—friend considered it humorous to give of me as an j Podb. Macbeth, eh? oh, I see—Wishes ! No, what was that ?
unsociable hypochondriac ? j Guide. I dell it you. (He tells it; Podbuet falls into gloomy ab-

Miss T. Well, no; he didn't say just that. He represented you ' str action.) . . . Aud inschdantly she vind a grade pig soasage at de
as one of the fonniest persons alive; said you told stories which j end of her noase. So de ole voman

tickled folks to death almost.

Culch. (annoyed). Really, this is most unpardonable of Mr. Pod-

Podb. (wearily). Oh, I've heard all that. What's this one about ?
Guide. Dis is galled " De lasht Gannon." You see de vigure of

buey! To have such odious calumniesoirculated aboutone behind one's ! Ceevilization flodderin op viz de vings, vile Brogress preaks asonder
back is simply too-I do not aspire to—ah—to tickle folks to death ! | de lasht gon, and in a gorner a Genius purns de vrontier host.