Punch: Punch (101.1891)

124

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 12, 1891.

THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS.

No. VI.

SCENE—Garden of the Hotel Victoria at Bingen, commanding a
vieio of the Rhine and the vine-terraced hills, which are bathed
in warm afternoon sunlight. Under the mopheaded acacias,
Corchard and Podbttry are sitting smoking. At a little dis-
tance from them , are a Young Married Couple, ivhose honeymoon
is apparently in its last quarter.

The Bridegroom {lazily, to Bride, as she draws another chair to-
wards her for a foot-rest). How many more chairs do you want ?

Bride [without looking at him). I should think you could spare me
one—you can hardly sit on three at once !

{After this interchange of amenities, they consider themselves
absolved from any further conversational efforts.

Podb. {to Culch., resuming a discussion). I know as well as you
do that we are booked for Nuremberg ; but what J say is—that's no
earthly reason why we should go there !

Culch. No reason why you should go, unless you wish it, cer-
tainly, /intend to go.

Podb. "Well, it's beastly selfish, ' Now^ I don't cotton to Nuremberg

that's all! I know why you .'re so .^flll^X somehow; I'd rather go straight

keen about it, too. Because the ffi$Ur I on to Constance; we could get some

Trotters are going. M *jr gg|§ iWyMfoL rowing there.

Culch. (colouring). That 's an jgp Ljffjgl Culch. (pettishly). Rowing be——•

entire mistake on your part. Miss -^Mll^'iMF <&l'$id^ (recollecting his helplessness). No;

Trotter has nothing to do with it. A^^M^O^ ' XiM(\ Sf!frr\ but just consider, my dear Podbttry.

I don't even know whether she's fy^^^m^^W, iYMrillft^\ I assure you you'11 find Nuremberg

going or nut—for certain. / >^^^wBr«JffiK (M/' lft a mos^ delightful old place. You

Podb. No, but you've a pretty Aj^BPrrl|i /»'•' \|]fh must see how bent I am on going

good idea that she is, though. And /4fflmB%&*'^ ^« IMi\ \ there !

I know how it will be. You'll be /^^Sra^^^ldf^i]^ ^aN \ "^Pv Podb. Oh, yes, I see that. But

going about with her all the time, P^^BEflnMl ' ''^^ tlu-n I'm not, don't you know — so

and I shall be shunted on to the ^S^^pmBBuKSL fiffl^^m^ ^vfJjN there we are!

old man ! I don't see it, you know! "^^^^Tw^lrJ^ W^/^SskM? Nl^*2> Culch. (desperately-. Well, I Tl—

(Cuxch. remains silent. A pause. ^mfWk Ml///1/p^j^^L\\1&jf I'll meet you half-way. I're no

Podbttry suddenly begins to search < $flsk, 'A^TO W\ V r '^Wwii\ objection to—er—fitting up with you

his pockets.) I say—here's a pretty 'f^a^^ W\V I il v)W\\\ —Nuremberg or Constance. Come?

fix! Look here, old fellow, doosid mWSfSsr^^/T W>.\ . Podb. You weren't so anxious to

this—see. (He opens his coat.) With a buttoned flap, it stands to
reason they mast be safe !

Podb. So long as you keep it buttoned, old chap,—which you don't
seem to do!

Culch. (annoyed). Pshaw! The button is a trifle too-{feels

pocket, and turns pale). Oood Heayens, it—it's gone !
Podb. The button?

Culch. (patting himself all over with shaking hands). Everything!
—money, coupons, circular notes ! They—they must have fallen
out going up that infernal Niederwald. (Angrily.) You would insist
on going!

Podb. Phew! The whole bag of tricks gone ! You 're lucky if you
get them again. Any number of tramps and beggars all the way up.
Shouldn't have taken off your coat—very careless of you! (He
grins.)

Culch. It was so hot. I must go and inform the Police here—I
may recover it yet. Anyway, we—we must push on to Nuremberg,
and I '11 telegraph home for money to be sent there. You can let me
have enough to get on with ?

Podb. With all the pleasure in life, dear boy—on your own con-
ditions, you know7. I mean, if I pay the piper, I call the tune.

annoying thing, but I can't find my \ ttWjw/$Mh s\\\ LLlii^vw ^ nP jus^ now—neTer niind.

purse—must have lost it somewhere! \l/M/fMlll\ ^wIvwlMr (Producing a mark.) Now then,

Culch. (stoically). I can't say I'm \y W///^mj\ WwAv\vi Emperor — Constance. Eagle—Nu-

surprised to hear it. It's awkward, \^IwWmflm reniberg. Is it sudden death, or

certainly. I suppose I shall have to \ w///§^M Wii^k- ^estou^ °^ three ? [He tosses.

lend you_enough to go home with—■ Im/m/awll! W^Tvw Culch. Sud-■ (The coin falls

with the Emperor uppermost.) Best

with—er—pleasure. If W/MWlid (\\fvW^\\ out °f three.

Podb. (staring). Go home ? Why, | V'M i IBnKS ^He tak

es coin fro?)i Podbttry

I can wire to the governor for more, WMIkIII k Ita and tosses.

easily enough. We shall have to MMBi AfSlttll^ Podb. Eagle! we're even so far.

stay here till it comes, that's all. !w//wl iWm^mk (He receives coin.) This settles it.

Culch. And give up Nuremberg? \ i/'wml Wfl] [He tosses.

Thank you! lifMBms.-^ ^k/Www) Culch. Eagle again! Now mind,

Podb. I rather like this place, you {'^■Mw^^- -^Jlllfllv/ Podbttry, no going back after this.

know—sort of rest. And we coidd 0 j 'A> f^~~sa^.^> ^S^M\^L illy; It must be Nuremberg now.

always nip over to Ems, or Homburg, -foil; ^-Xj^^--—' ^^^Ir^WM^ Podb. All right! And now allow

if it got too slow, eh? ^D/■ ^ ^^~7*JE»?^igfasi me ^0 have the pleasure of restoring

Culch. If I nip over anywhere, I 11 Good Heavens it—it's o-0ne ' " Jr°ur pocket-Dook and note-case,

shall nip to Nuremberg. We may ' ° ' They did fall out on the Niederwald,

just as weU understand one another, Podbttry. If I'm to pro
vide money for both of us, it's only reasonable that you should
be content to go where / choose. I cannot, and will not, stand these
perpetual interferences with our original plan; it's sheer restless-
ness. Come with me to Nuremberg, and I shall be very happy to be
your banker. Otherwise, you must stay here alone.

[He compresses his lips and crosses his legs.

Podb. Oh, that's it, is it ? But look here, why not tit up whether
we go on or stay ?

Culch. Why should I "tit up," as you call it, when I've already
made up my mind to go. When I once decide on anything, it's
final.

The Bride (to Bridegroom, without enthusiasm). Would you like
me to roU you a cigarette ?

Bridegroom (with the frankness of an open nature). Not if I know
it. I can do it better myself.

Bride (coldly). I see.
[Another silence, at the end of which she rises and ivalks slowly
away, pausing at the gate to see whether he intetids to follow. As
he does not appear to have remarked her absence, she ivalks on.

Podbury (to Culch., in an undertone). 1 say, those two don't seem
to hit it off exactly, eh ? Seem sorry they came! You '11 be glad to
hear, old fellow, that we needn't separate after all. Just found my
purse in my trouser-pocket!

Culch. Better luck than you deserve. Didn't I tell you you
should have a special pocket for your money and coupons ? Like

and it was a good job for you I wTas behind and saw them drop. You
must really be more careful, dear boy. Ain't you going to say
"ta" for them?

Culch. {relieved). I 'm—er—tremendously obliged. I really can't
say how—(Recollecting himself.) But you need not have taken
advantage of it to try to do me out of going to Nuremberg—it was
a shabby trick!

Podb. Oh, it was only to get a rise out of you. I never meant to
keep you to it, of course. And I say, weren't you sold, though ?
Didn't I lead up to it beautifully ? (He chuckles.) Score to me, eh !

Culch. (with 'amiable sententiousness). Ah, well, I don't grudge
you your little joke if it amuses you. Those laugh best who laugh
last. And it's settled now that we 're going to Nuremberg.

[Miss Trotter and her father have come out from the Spevse-
saal doors, and overhear the last speech.

Mr. Trotter (to Culchard). Your friend been gettin' off a joke on
you, Sir ?

Culch. Only in his own estimation, Mr. Trotter. I have nailed
him down to going to Nuremberg, which, for many reasons, I was
extremely anxious to visit. (Carelessly.) Arc we likely to be there
when you are ?

Miss T. I guess not. We've just got our mail, and my cousin,
Charley Van Boodeler, writes he's having a real lovely time in the
Engadine—says it's the most elegant locality he's struck yet, and

just as full of Amurrcans as it can hold; so we 're going to start out
there right away. I don't believe we shall have time for Nuremberg