Punch: Punch (101.1891)

November 7, 1891.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

219

Thus sang, or would, or could, or should have sung,

The modern Greek, in imitative verse ;
Meanwhile the Goddess, grave, though ever young,

Stood, Psyche-like, untempted to rehearse
The ragings—angrier ink "was seldom slung—

Uttered by Byron in Minerva's Curse.
She simply stood, as stately-proud as Pallas,
Looking so calm, some might have deemed her callous.

Amusing sight this game ! Don versus Don

Mixed in a sort of classic Donnybrook.
A lethal weapon is a Lexicon

When rivals make a bludgeon of the book.
By her unaided charms the Goddess won

Her way. This is the language of her look.
(The Laureate's) " Judge thou me by what I am,
"So shalt thou find me, fairest"—sa?is Compulsory
Cram!

BETWEEN THE ACTS.

Scene—Europe. The G-reat Powers discovered in Council.

Russia. Now, I think I have arranged matters fairly
well. I shall myself lend a hand to Prance, and that
will keep the balance decently level, so far as Germany
is concerned.

Germany. "Will it ? I can fight you both !

Austria. Now, keep quiet. H we are to be partners,
you must not be so impulsive.

Italy. Just what 1 say. Why can't he take it calmly !

Russia. Well, of course it's not my business ; but if
you want to break up the Triple Alliance, that's the way
to do it! Well, then, France employed with you boys on
the Rhine, I shall move down south, and quietly occupy
Constantinople. Now, no one could object to that!

Germany. Why, I should, and so would Austria,
wouldn't you ?

Austria. Of course. But what could we do, if we were
hard at work with France ?

Italy. Yes ; and fancy the Mediterranean becoming
a Russian lake!

Russia. Oh, you would soon grow accustomed to it!
Then I should move on to Afghanistan, and quietly
make my way to India. But all this has to be done after
the first step is taken. England must scuttle out of
Egypt.

England. Scuttle out of Egypt? Why, certainly!
After consideration ! [Left considering.

MISUNDERSTOOD.

Young Lady [in Contralto tones of remarkable depth and richness). "Have you
got any Low French Songs 1"

Music Publisher {indignantly). "Certainly not, Miss ! You must try some
other Establishment !"

EOBEET ON THE COMING SHO.

What a prowd and appy day dear old Whales is about for to have
on the werry next Lord Mare's Day, as is cumming, which it's the
ninth of nex month, which it's nex Monday. Not only is wun of the
werry populusest of living Welchmen a going for to 'be made Lord

Shakspeare says, of too much supper last nite, "a praying on my
eat-oppressed Brane ! " No, no ! There are things as is posserbel,
and there are things as ain't, and them as ain't done werry often
happen. Robert.

Mare on that werry day, but the Prince of j The Two Graces.

Whales hisself, who was inwited but karnt j [Miss Maude Z\Iillett was at Cambridge last week, when the Grace of
kum cos he's keepin'his hone Jewbilly at ome ! the Senate for an inquiry into the Compulsory Greek question was noii-

placeled by a large majority.]

The tug of war. when Greek met Anti-Greek

In deadly feud, was over in a trice.
They spoke out promptly, when they had to speak—

They would not have "the Grace at any price.
But undergraduates of every race

Flocked to the Theatre, each night to fill it.
The Grace they placeted was just the Grace
Of one fair maiden—pretty Miss Maude Millett.

that appy and horspigious day. Praps Madam
Haddyleaner Patty (wichis quite a Welch
name) would kum up an give us a treat on
this okashun.

Prapsmyenthewsiasminthe cause of Whales
may be xcused when I reweals the f ack that
I am myself arf a Welchman, as my Mother
was a reel one before me, and so, strange to
say, was my Huncle, her Brother. There was
sum idear of dressing me up as a Bard with
a Arp, and I was to jine in when the rest on
us struck up " The March of the Men of Garlick," but I prudently
declined the temting horff er. I need scarcelv sav that Welch Rabbits
will be a werry striking part of the Maynoo, being probably substi-
tuted for the Barrens of Beef.
I'm told as all the Ministers is a cumming.

Brown, with his ushal raddicle imperence, says it's becoz they
knos as it's for the larst time. Yes, much Brown knos about
it, when he sed jest the werry same thing larst year ! I'm told as
Mr. Balfour and Mr. Goshen is to be seated nex to each other, so
that they can take the Loving Cup together. So that will be aU
rite. We are going to have a splendid Persession—the werry
longest and the werry hinterestingest of moddern times! So I
ad wise all my many kyind paytrons and Country Cuzzins to "cum
erlyP There's no telling what dredful changes may take place in
these horful rewolushunary times, and ewen the " Sacred Sho" may
be stript of sum of its many attrackshuns, or ewen erbolished alto-
gether ! But that is, of course, only a fearfool wision, begotten, as

A CniLi Pickle.—The following advertisement is sent us, extracted
from the Chilian Times :—

CASA QUIXTA !—To Let in Vina del Mar the first story of a comfortable
house, with beautiful garden and yard, situated in the finest part of the
villa, and consisting of eight rooms, baths, gas, cellar and all other comforts,
etc., against rent or board to a matrimony—Apply, &:c., &c.

If Chilians can treat English like this, Americans will stand a poor
chance "against rent or board to a matrimony." The terms of the
lease in Chilian Legal English would probably " afford employment
for the gentlemen of the long robe."

The Observer recently warned us that—

" Louisa Lady Ailesbvry must not be confounded with Maria Lady
Aileskvry, who is the widow of the elder brother of her husband."

There is surely some misapprehension here. Lady "A." did not
marry her deceased husband's brother, whether " elder " or younger.