Punch: Punch (101.1891)

282 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 12. 1891.

DEAR CHILD!

Papa {to Friend from Town). "There, my Boy, that's what you ought to do ! Get a Gee, and come out with the Hounds !"
Little Daughter. "Oh, Papa, take care you don't Fall Off, as you did the other Day!"

KATHLEEN AND PETBUCHIO;

Or, Shakspeare Balfourised.

Kathleen . Hibernia. Petruehio . Mr. Balfour.

Grumio.....Mr. Jackson-.

Haberdasher . . Mr. Gladstone.

Petruehio. Thus have I politicly begun my
reign,

And 'tis my hope to end successfully ;
My falcon now is sharp, and passing empty ;
And, till she stoop, she must not be full-
gorg'd,

For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come, and know her keeper's
call;

That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
That bate, and beat, and will not be obedient .
She plays no tricks to-day, nor none shall
play;

Last Session she ruled not, nor shall next
Session;

Resolute government is the only way
To smooth these stormy spirits.

All the same,
After the hurly-burly, I intend
Ail shall be done in reverend care of her ;
And, in conclusion, she shall have her rights,
If she will cease to rise, and rail, and brawl,
And with her clangour keep the world awake.
This is the way to kill her wrath with kind-
ness.

And thus I '11 curb her mad and headstrong
humour.—

He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Let him speak out! 'Tis time the kingdom
knew!

Kathleen. The more my wrong the more

his smile appears !
How doth he madden me—and master me !—
I—I, who never knew how to submit,
Nor never fancied that I should submit,—
Am starved for strife, stupid for lack of

struggle,

With Law kept bridled, and with Order

saddled:

And that, which spites me more thau all these
stints,

He does it under name of perfect love ;

As who should say, if I should have my will,

'Twere deadly sickness or else present death.
* » * * *

Petruehio. Kathleen, thou mend'st apace!

And now, my love,
Will we return unto thy father's house,
And ruffle it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffs, and cuffs, and farthingales, and

things; [bravery,
With orange tissue trimmed with true-blue
Eschewing wearing of the green,—that's

knavery.

See Grumio there! He waits thy loving
leisure

To deck thy body with his boxed-up treasure.
A cap of mine own choice, come fresh from
town;

It will become thee better than a crown.
'Tis my ideal. {Enter Haberdasher.) Well—

what would you, sirrah ?
Haberdasher. Here is the hat the lady did

bespeak!

Petruehio. Why, this was moulded on a
foreign block.

A Phrygian cap. Fie, fie ! 'tis crude and
flaunting.

Why, 'tis a coal-vase or a bushel-basket,
A fraud, a toy, a trick, a verdant fool'scap :
Away with it! Come, let me have a smaller !

Kathleen. I '11 have no smaller : this doth
lit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such hats as these.

Petruehio. When you are gentle, you shall
have one too,—
But of another pattern.

Grumio {aside). Mine, to wit.

Kathleen. Why, Sir, I trust I may have
leave to speak:
And speak I will. I am no child, no babe :
Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And, if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the craving of my heart,
Or else my heart, concealing it, will break ;
And rather than it shall, I will be free
E'en to the uttermost,—at least in words!

Petruehio. Why, so thou art. But 'tis a
paltry hat
This Haberdasher would fob off on thee.
I love thee well, but he, he loves thee not.

Kathleen. Love me or love me not, I like
the hat,

And it I will have, or I will have none

Grumio {aside). Then is she like to go
bareheaded long!

[Left arguing. Sequel—some day.

Our Old Friend Once More.—Mrs. Ram
has lately taken to theatre-going. She says,
however, that she doesn't much care about
going on first nights of new pieces, as the
Stalls are full of Crickets.