Punch: Punch (101.1891)

294 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 19, 1891.

"SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE," &c.

Ethel. "Mummy dear, why did you tell Richard you 'weren't at Home' just now?" {Pause.)
' '■ Mummy, I mean-

Mamma. "When Sir Fusby Dodderidge called? Why, Ethel dear, because he Bores me."
Ethel. " Oh 1 " [After thoughtfully considering the matter with regard to her Governess.) ' Then may I say
I'm not at Home when Miss Krux calls to-morrow? for she Bores me awfully?"

" ENGLAND, HOME, AND BEAUTY ! "

[" I am quite proud to think that my son marries one who
was bom iu this country, has been educated in tins country,
and has the feelings of an Englishwoman."—JI.R.II. the
-Prince of Wales at the Civil Service Dinner.~\

The Prince's word will strike a chord

Of sympathy and pleasure
In English hearts. Not from abroad

Young Clarence brought his treasure.
He finds his May in British mead;

'Tis Punch's pleasant duty
The old chorus once again to lead,

" For England, Home, and Beauty ! "

Eneland!—the fair betrothed was born
Within the seas that bind us :

Home !—not from far court-precincts torn,

This Princess comes to tind us.
Beauty !—well, look upon that face,

Whilst Punchitjs Cupid hoYers,
"With crowning wreath and genial grace,

Above the Royal lovers.

Fair home-grown flower, bright English May,

Whose promise cheers December,
And who will make "wild March " so gay ;

Punch can right well remember.
Betrothals many, bridals too,

Your lover's sire's among them,
And with a loyalty frank yet true.

Has generally sung them.

And so for you he hath a stave,
Latest of the bright bevv.

On gentle hearts and spirits
brave

The toll of love you '11 levy.
We trust that fortune may
_ prove fair, [rosy,
' And life's long pathway
And love attend the Royal pair,
The young " Promessi
Sposi."

An English bridal it will be
When March brings round
the spring time,
And English hearts will hail
witb glee
The coming of the ring-time.
Punch—like his Prince—is
" proud to think "
It then will be his duty,
Once more the fine old toast to
drink—
" For England, Home, and
Beauty! "

TWOPENCE PLAIN,—A
PENNY COLOURED.

Mr. Punch, Honoured Sir,
I have just received a
copy of The Almanack, which,
if I may say so, is worthy of the
approach to the close of "the
so - called Nineteenth Cen-
tury." Not to go further into
particulars, I should sav that
"A Doll's Diary" will be
hard to beat in contemporary
Christmas literature.

It was, Sir, not with the in-
tention of making this obvious
remark that I break in upon
your reflections. My purpose
was moved by discovering on
the front corner of this work
of Literature and Art the
legend, "Price 6c?. ; Inland
postage, 2d." Looking at the
postal cover which lightly bore
the treasure o'er land and
sea to this ancient town, I
discovered, that coming under
the "foreign postage rate,"
l%d. had served the turn.
Whence it appears, that had
I, as usual at this season of
the year, been at my country
address, to be found in Dod,
the Almanack would have cost
me, or someone else (it is
beside the argument), 2d.
Whereas, being hundreds of
miles away from the placid
pastures that surround The
Kennel, Berks, the postage is
25 per cent, less in amount.
In one case, where the larger
sum and the less amount of
labour were concerned, the
English Post-Office, taking
all the money, charge 2d. ; in
the other, calling in the as-
sistance of Belgium and Ger-
many, and of course sharing
with them the plunder, \kd.
is held to be the fair recom-
pense for the immensely ex-
tended labour. Isn't this
something in the way of re-
versal of the ordinary trade
axiom, as who should say
" Twopence Plain; a Penny,
Coloured"?

In its immediate application
it is a small thing. People
privileged to receive Punch's
Almanack through the post