DOI Heft:
January 2, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17693#0011
January 2, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
1
,vN/u -
\ 1
Cjtt gulte 0f geknsljtre.
Born, April 27th, 1808. Died, December 21st, 1891.
Learned, large-hearted, liberal Lord of Land,
As clear of head as generous of hand,
He lived his honourable length of days,
A " Duke " whom doughtiest Democrat might praise.
" Leader " in truth, though not with gifts of tongue,
Full many a " Friend of Man" the muse has sung
Unworthier than patrician Cavendish.
Seeing him pass who may forbear the wish,
Would more were like him !—Then the proud command,
" Noblesse oblige " e'en Mobs might understand !
AFTER DINNER—AT THE CLOSE OE THE YEAR.
Scene—A Private Room in a well-known Dining Hotel. 'Eminent
Politicians discussing ''''shop''1 over their walnuts before dis-
persing for the Christmas holidays.
First Eminent Politician. I say that recent speech of yours at
Skegness was a little strong. Preferring the Navy to the Army!
Although the Army is of course the " Best possible Army," and all
that! Eh ? I say it was a little too thick !
Second Em. Pol. {quickly). Not a bit of it! You don't know how
well we are getting on at Pall Mall.
I give you my word everything 's
first-rate. Department working splen-
didly. You can't say that at Whitehall
and Somerset House ?
First Em. Pol. {ivarmly). Not say it!
We do ! Everything's most satisfac-
tory. Discipline splendid. Never had
such a fine Fleet. And the fireworks
best possible place in the world. No end of good for training a
fellow to command other fellows.
Second Em. Pol. Well, they were down upon you pretty smartly.
First Em. Pol. [airily). Maybe. But it's because they didn't
know what they were writing about. How can a fellow become a
good naval officer unless he has been robbed of his pocket-money,
and taught how to lie for his seniors. Thing's too ridiculous!
Hallo, Jimmy, they tell me things are in a dreadful mess at
St. Martin's-le-Grand !
Third Em. Pol. {promptly). Then they tell you wrong. Never
saw anything like it—most perfect organisation in the world! Abso-
lutely marvellous, Sir—absolutely marvellous ! And the clerks so
civil and obliging. Everybody pleased with them.
Second Em. Pol. Come, that won't do. Your statement is as hard
to digest as too-previous turkey and premature plum-pudding. The
papers are full of complaints all through the Autumn, and have only
stopped recently to make room for those descriptive and special law
reports. You will have them again, now Term is over.
Third Em. Pol. Who cares for the papers? I tell you we are
absolutely inundated with letters of thanks from Dukes and
Duchesses upwards. No; if you had said that the Colonies were in
a mess, why then-•
Fourth Em. Pol. [angrily). What are you talking about?
Why, we are absolutely romping in! Never knew the Colonies so
prosperous as they are now! And we have had to put on half-a-
dozen extra clerks to open and answer the letters of congratulation
we receive hour by hour from every part of the Empire. Why,
everything's splendid—absolutely splendid!
Second Em. Pol. Well, matters have decidedly mended since
transportation was prohibited. But to return to our muttons.
Waterloo was won-
Fourth Em. Pol. [interrupting). Yes, I know, by the Militia and
the dregs of the population! By the way, though, the gaols have
had better company than now.
Fifth Em. Pol Hold hard! Don't you abuse my Prisons. As
a matter of fact, the present convicts are the finest, cleverest,
we had at the Royal Naval Exhibition j most trustworthy fellows that ever existed. It is quite an honour
to get into a prison nowadays. {With a sudden burst of anger.)
And if any of you doubt my word, hang me, I will have satisfaction !
{Looking round for opponents.) Come now, who will tread on the
tail of my coat!
Chief and Most Eminent Politician. Gentlemen ! Gentlemen !
Come it's getting late, and if we are to see the dress-rehearsal of
the Pantomime, we must be off at once !
[The Party breaks up to meet later on in the neighbourhood of
Drury l,ane.
Hj^. all through the Summer! Well you
ought to have seen them !
Second Em. Pol. {carelessly). Yes, I daresay. But what have
fireworks got to do with the Navy ?
First Em. Pol. Why they increased our recruiting awfully.
Fellows _ went to the Poyal Naval Exhibition and saw all sorts of
good things, automatic weighing machine, a fishing-smack, and
Nelson wax-works—and—and that kind of thing you know, and joined
the Navy! Precious good thing for the Service," I can tell you.
Second Em. Pol. Well, to go back to an old story—you can't
defend the bullying on board The Britannia.
First Em. Pol. Oh, that's all bosh. Those newspaper fellows
got hold of it for the Silly Season and ran it to death, but it's the
From our SportinCt City Man.—"Pounded before the Start.
-Mr. Goschen's One-pound Note scheme.
VOL ^Ull
1
,vN/u -
\ 1
Cjtt gulte 0f geknsljtre.
Born, April 27th, 1808. Died, December 21st, 1891.
Learned, large-hearted, liberal Lord of Land,
As clear of head as generous of hand,
He lived his honourable length of days,
A " Duke " whom doughtiest Democrat might praise.
" Leader " in truth, though not with gifts of tongue,
Full many a " Friend of Man" the muse has sung
Unworthier than patrician Cavendish.
Seeing him pass who may forbear the wish,
Would more were like him !—Then the proud command,
" Noblesse oblige " e'en Mobs might understand !
AFTER DINNER—AT THE CLOSE OE THE YEAR.
Scene—A Private Room in a well-known Dining Hotel. 'Eminent
Politicians discussing ''''shop''1 over their walnuts before dis-
persing for the Christmas holidays.
First Eminent Politician. I say that recent speech of yours at
Skegness was a little strong. Preferring the Navy to the Army!
Although the Army is of course the " Best possible Army," and all
that! Eh ? I say it was a little too thick !
Second Em. Pol. {quickly). Not a bit of it! You don't know how
well we are getting on at Pall Mall.
I give you my word everything 's
first-rate. Department working splen-
didly. You can't say that at Whitehall
and Somerset House ?
First Em. Pol. {ivarmly). Not say it!
We do ! Everything's most satisfac-
tory. Discipline splendid. Never had
such a fine Fleet. And the fireworks
best possible place in the world. No end of good for training a
fellow to command other fellows.
Second Em. Pol. Well, they were down upon you pretty smartly.
First Em. Pol. [airily). Maybe. But it's because they didn't
know what they were writing about. How can a fellow become a
good naval officer unless he has been robbed of his pocket-money,
and taught how to lie for his seniors. Thing's too ridiculous!
Hallo, Jimmy, they tell me things are in a dreadful mess at
St. Martin's-le-Grand !
Third Em. Pol. {promptly). Then they tell you wrong. Never
saw anything like it—most perfect organisation in the world! Abso-
lutely marvellous, Sir—absolutely marvellous ! And the clerks so
civil and obliging. Everybody pleased with them.
Second Em. Pol. Come, that won't do. Your statement is as hard
to digest as too-previous turkey and premature plum-pudding. The
papers are full of complaints all through the Autumn, and have only
stopped recently to make room for those descriptive and special law
reports. You will have them again, now Term is over.
Third Em. Pol. Who cares for the papers? I tell you we are
absolutely inundated with letters of thanks from Dukes and
Duchesses upwards. No; if you had said that the Colonies were in
a mess, why then-•
Fourth Em. Pol. [angrily). What are you talking about?
Why, we are absolutely romping in! Never knew the Colonies so
prosperous as they are now! And we have had to put on half-a-
dozen extra clerks to open and answer the letters of congratulation
we receive hour by hour from every part of the Empire. Why,
everything's splendid—absolutely splendid!
Second Em. Pol. Well, matters have decidedly mended since
transportation was prohibited. But to return to our muttons.
Waterloo was won-
Fourth Em. Pol. [interrupting). Yes, I know, by the Militia and
the dregs of the population! By the way, though, the gaols have
had better company than now.
Fifth Em. Pol Hold hard! Don't you abuse my Prisons. As
a matter of fact, the present convicts are the finest, cleverest,
we had at the Royal Naval Exhibition j most trustworthy fellows that ever existed. It is quite an honour
to get into a prison nowadays. {With a sudden burst of anger.)
And if any of you doubt my word, hang me, I will have satisfaction !
{Looking round for opponents.) Come now, who will tread on the
tail of my coat!
Chief and Most Eminent Politician. Gentlemen ! Gentlemen !
Come it's getting late, and if we are to see the dress-rehearsal of
the Pantomime, we must be off at once !
[The Party breaks up to meet later on in the neighbourhood of
Drury l,ane.
Hj^. all through the Summer! Well you
ought to have seen them !
Second Em. Pol. {carelessly). Yes, I daresay. But what have
fireworks got to do with the Navy ?
First Em. Pol. Why they increased our recruiting awfully.
Fellows _ went to the Poyal Naval Exhibition and saw all sorts of
good things, automatic weighing machine, a fishing-smack, and
Nelson wax-works—and—and that kind of thing you know, and joined
the Navy! Precious good thing for the Service," I can tell you.
Second Em. Pol. Well, to go back to an old story—you can't
defend the bullying on board The Britannia.
First Em. Pol. Oh, that's all bosh. Those newspaper fellows
got hold of it for the Silly Season and ran it to death, but it's the
From our SportinCt City Man.—"Pounded before the Start.
-Mr. Goschen's One-pound Note scheme.
VOL ^Ull